The Queen's World ~ パラダイスクラシック

I 'VE CHANGE MY BLOG ACCOUNT

2008-08-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION PLS EVERYONE OF YOU ATTENTION PLS !!

FOR THOSE WHO ARE MY FRIENDS AND OFTEN VISITING MY BLOG
YOU CAN COME HERE :

Http://queenofemo.blog125.fc2.com

FOR THOSE WHO I DON'T KNOW YOU , BUT YOU KNOW ME , OR YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME , BUT STILL WISH TO SEE MY BLOG , YOU CAN COME HERE :

Http://queenofemo.blog125.fc2.com

FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT WISH TO SEE MY BLOG , DON'T COME HERE :

Http://queenofemo.blog125.fc2.com

Reason :

Now the reason why I change my blog account is because I love it. Nothing special. Pls do take your precious time and stay a visit to my blog , leave some precious comments of yours. I will be very glad to receive any comments of yours , it is my pleasure to do so , your comments will be appreciate. Thank you.

Everything will be fine.

2008-08-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry.

But if is time , it is time.

Is never alone. But rather meaningful.

I will never disappear , I promise :)

Everything will be fine ...trust me. It will.

误解，了解。

2008-08-27T23:36:00.000-07:00

有位朋友曾经在他的部落格里这样的说过，

“人往往会因误解对方而选择了在一起，却在真正了解对方的同时而选择了分开”

他说得一点也没错。

我想，我是其中明白这道理的人吧。

不明白？问我吧。^_^

未来，真的很难予测。你从来就不会知道接下来的路会怎样。

所以，在你给与其他人承诺时，必须得小心亦亦。别轻易的答应别人你那“不肯定的承诺”

结果被伤害的人，会是很多。抱括你自己。

我会明白，是因为，在这时候，我突然领悟到，在这世界上还有更多比爱情来得还重要的东西。

这念头，来得还真不合时。

我发觉，现在的我，不再需要恋爱了。

胭脂雪

2008-08-05T10:22:00.001-07:00

红灯笼刚被人点亮
已落满白霜
红衣裳雕着花的床
陈旧了新娘
容颜是种罪
青春是露水
命薄如纸世人才说美
清晨上了妆
黄昏卸了妆
有谁值得我人老珠黄
水中花怎么能开
死一回才能活过来
换一句清白
漩涡和火海
有谁值得我用力去爱
流着眼泪笑
皱着眉头忘
有谁配那句地老天荒
胭脂是红颜脸上的伤

Teacher shouldn't have involve student into their personal problem and SPICY !!

2008-07-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

Tibo will not be online for about three weeks or more , so do I. I really need to concentrate on my studies now ~ is just few months left , waiting for STPM to arrive. So , in this three weeks , I planned for my own targets and goal , and another reason for me to do that , was that ... man , I'm really boring and lonely without him , i miss him :( ( cause is like a spell now , chatting with him everyday is a must ) , have to move my concentration to my own studies then and of course others as well. (*shy to tell that OTHERS ) muahahah ~ .

SO , I was heading to school today , and when I arrived , as usual nothing much happen , except by saying HI !! to Ong's sister. Then I head to my own class , and saw Yap , Soon , were both sitting there , eating and talking ( that's what they usually does all the time early in the morning ) Desmond was there as well , talking craps again :P XD !! Yap ask me to tried on her new discovery , Nasi Labu with special malay recipe of spicy chili sauce. So I did , and was very fantastic. ( I mean , the great amount of chilies ) Ever since dining with Yap , I changed into a very horrible typical spicy search vampire maniac. Trust me , you won't want to know how horrible are we both trying out those really cool and spicy meals out there somewhere in Serdang. And it somehow influenced my original taste of dining a nice , warm , non-spicy chilling meal , I totally changed , and was lovely to try out every different level of spicy chilies , or curry , or whatever they call , anything else with the touch of SPICY !!! YAY !! YAY !!

Suddenly a teacher came and stood beside the class door. She was asking for Desmond , and Desmond stood up like a man ( lol :P ) and went to her. While she was telling Desmond about something , I stare and see what's happening , of course , meanwhile talking with Yap. I wasn't really sure about the whole thing , but this morning , I do saw some junior student from the lower six came into our class and did the cleaning for us for about a week ? I ask Desmond about why and when , he told me that it was because they had lost the game during the orientation day and was ordered by the teacher , Pn.Rapidah for helping us with those cleaning in the classes. Or else they've need to pay for the lost. But they refused to do so , and they'd agree to do the cleaning for us. Ha ha , honestly I don't know why it has to be this serious anyway cause we didn't even have those so call punishment during our last year , we lost , we lost , doesn't need any punishment or stuff.. moreover , IS JUST THE ORIENTATION. Wake up pls..

But anyhow , I was clear about one thing , the teacher came to Desmond and was asking about why lower six ( who lost in the orientation ) has to do the cleaning during the class time ? One thing for sure , they never ask them to came during their class time , they choose to do that themselves , they can come anytime they want to , cause we never force them to do so , moreover , without you guys we still can do the cleaning ourselves. But teacher , the way you ask is like accusing us that we are the one who ordered them and bullied them ? Or hello ? Isn't it better if you put this blame towards Pn. Rapidah ? Cause honestly we have nothing to do with it. and that's the truth. Ok , so Desmond was the Vice President for MT6 , so as Farihan who was the PRESIDENT of the MT6 ( lagi teruk man ''-.- ) One , will have to face the teacher and another one pretend that nothing is happening , sitting there and SLEEPs ? Judge it yourself guys ~

While during recess time , we were having breakfast , Desmond told Jenny about the whole thing that happens late hour ago , and she was very very very piss off with those teacher's act and also lower six student. Her piss off level was way on high man , way on high , I never saw her that piss before ... This was the first time I saw Jenny pissing off herself until the whole Canteen could hear her voice , some friends of hers surrounded her and all discuss together about this matter ( or shall I say... gossip ? ) :P and she was really angry , till she rolled her tears out. Woah.. I see... now I understand ... When you eagerly give others a hand for help , but they didn't appreciate , instead of that , they still accusing you about something that wasn't even your fault , and that was even a teacher. That , could really cause you some emo , can't even get the time to calm down on any other second , just feel like complaining to your friends. I knew that , cause I have that before , that is why , until now , I was sick of those teachers who keep asking me to do favors for them. CAUSE THEY NEVER APPRECIATE.

In a nutshell , teachers shouldn't involve students into their personal / or private problem , students were always being in the middle when it cames to teacher's between teacher's personal problems. You guys should see properly about who shall be the one who has to be pay the responsible for the faults , teacher , is just a job , Doesn't mean you are a King or a Queen. Pls be fair , and play fair. We students doesn't have any time for your stupid black dark moron stupid meaningless fucking teacher's politic's games .Until then , Thank you.

Yay ~ Soon drived us to Somewhere located infront of the SK school for spicy Pan mee !! muahaha !! XD !!

When you're gone.. T.T

2008-07-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

When Youre Gone - Avril Lavigne

Let us sing ~

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie , is made on your side.
When you walk away , I count the steps that you take
Did you see how much I need you right now ?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you....

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do..
Reminds me of you.
And the clothes you left , that lie on the floor
And they smell just like you , I love the things that you do ~
When you walk away , I count the steps that you take
Did you see how much I need you right now ?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing to
When you're gone the words I need to hear
Will always get me through the day...
And make it okay...
I miss you ,

We were for made each other
Out here forever
I know we were.. YEAH ~~

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breath I need you to feel you're here with me ~~ yeah ! ~~

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you....

T.T... Touching ~~

Wish tibo all the best !!!

2008-07-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

Now !! Your Highness Queen have something to announce here , about Tibo , the young brave knights of Queensland will be leaving tomorrow to full fill his own mission within this three weeks , the place where all famous killers were born , PRAGUE at Czech Republic , a killer's city , to save the whole nation from their own country. His loyalty towards Queensland will never be forgotten. For now , The Queen will send Her Highest regards and wishes to this wonderful Sexy Young Knights , for he will save the whole nation in Czech Republic and die immediately with Honor and Pleasure , in France.Young Great Knights will never live forever after he had done his first mission.He must kill himself as for a payback after his murdered.Once a Knight has did the murderer crime , he wouldn't be call Knights any longer. The Queen felt proud for Tibo's Brave action.Let us all wish for this Young Great Knights,Tibo will rest in peace forever. Hallelujah.Amen.

what happen ?

2008-07-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

what happen ?

what happen !!?

what happen !!!!!!!???

what happen to us ? ? ? ? ?

T.T ...

WHAT HAPPEN !!!?????????????????? !!!! GOD , PLS TELL ME !!!!!!! PLS !!!!!!!!

Something wasn't right at all... what should I do ? Give me a sign pls...

Finally !!!!!!!

2008-07-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

Yes yes yes !!!!!!!! Finally !! Exams finished today !! Muahahaha !!! XD !!

I'll relax about a few days ,then start my war again next week ~ so for now , PLAYED !!!

Let us sing !!

" And you want him !! And you need him !!! But you act like he's not there !!

" Yeah, you know that you're hollow !! And something's missing here !! "

" So you push and you pull the hole in your soul !! But you can't make the HUNGER!! DISAPPEAR!!!!!!! "

Guitar wave >> DE NEN DE NEN DEN !! DEN DE NEN DE NEN DEN !! DEN DE NEN DE NEN DEN !! DEN DE NEN DE NEN DEN !! .... :p HEHE

Ladies and Gentlemen , presenting ~~ HUNGER !! FIREFLIGHT !!

Gengster " SETTLE" fight.

2008-07-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

Morning , windy morning. It feels really cold , really really cold , until I had some flu outta my nose.Today's exam , erm , ok lah ~ General Knowledge XD lack of time for that analyzing part, haiz... but most of it , was ok ~ and still can handle still. ;) muahaha

Wait till after school , Waiting for my hai dad again , I saw some cool scene :P where a bunch of Indians were fighting against Indians , how fuck =.='' usually , was Chinese fighting against other Indians and Malay. Seldom really saw those la la chai fight against their own races. But Indian's pulak ''=.= I salute them. No wonder they couldn't even cooperate together as once sometimes. So what's the point of fighting for their own rights from the country if they wouldn't even notice about their problem ? ( I saw some of my Indians so called friends , laughing against each others while they got scold by teachers , and push the responsibility to each others as well =.='' , and the worse is they could still laugh about it like a monkey =.='' )

But whatever it is , I continue on watching them , one of the Indian's member , scolded really loudly with proud... Aha , that reminds me of myself some few years ago , when I was a la la mui , and was kinda a fierce one. ( not kinda , I m -.-'' ) I knew how that Indian feels when he scolded people like that. He feels proud and cool , just like I felt from the last time. I could just scold and scold and scold non stop with all bad words , so hai lah ~ diu lei lou mou ~ fuck hai ~ zhi bet ~ so lin ~ diu nei ah xing ~ ...... ah... from that moments I realize that these words of mine sounds so ugly and yet together with the actions I had , was indeed , embarrassing. Dai gah jeh ? cheh , in a same word , HOOKER. Always , just little things happen >> wei !! go settle with them lo !! ... childish.

Oh well , I glad that is all over now. Will never turn back to that Esther anymore ;). It wasn't really a good memory anyway , So I'll just... forget about it ;)

2008-07-20T04:12:00.000-07:00

冬天的到来。。。

也是秋天该结束它故事的时候了。。

你说。。。如果。。。

我们俩可以手牵手的。。。

穿过冬天的森林。。。

探索着这森林的另一边。。。

或许，有个城堡在那等着我们也说不定。

IT'S YOU - FIREFLIGHT

2008-07-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

Fireflight - It's You lyrics

I wish that I could break all the mirrors in my mind
The ones that lie to me and steal away my pride
I wish I could be blind to everything that haunts me
If I use my heart, I can see your face
You show me the real me

It's You that I search for
It is You I can't live without
Your hope is what I long for
When nothing's left in me
It's You

This world is always trying to take a piece of me
But You are always there to make me feel complete
If I can keep my eyes on what You have for me
I will face the truth and never look away
You'll show me the real me

It's You that I search for
It is You I can't live without
Your hope is what I long for
When nothing's left in me
It's You

When I have nowhere else to go
And I can't find my way out
Your light it comes to guide me
I can't hide
You show me the real

It's You that I search for
It is You I can't live without
Your hope is what I long for
When nothing's left in me
It's You
(2x)



Song lyrics | It's You lyrics

My presentation was a success :D :D

2008-07-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

WahhhH ~~~ my beg feels very very heavy today ~ cause of the stupid laptop :P i have to bring the whole laptop thing , and then the battery , and then that turtle bag thing , plus all the books and stuff , then need to climb the stair until the third floor. But all is worth it , they all gave a great response on my presentation slides :D :D , really happy with that ;). But one thing , i fucking piss off with that teacher who said >> of course lah ~ you use windows microsoft 2007 , all those high tech technical animations , won't found it in microsoft 2003...

WHAT THE FUCK !?

man stupid whore ,oh pls for god's sake , if you don't understand computer , pls do not PRETEND LIKE YOU DID !! I swear !! I swear to you that Microsoft office version of 2003 did include those animations stuff as well !!!! why don't you fucking ask those student whether are they too lazy for the effects or they doesn't even realize that power point were included with those cool animations and effects as well !!!?? huhh !!? fuck you !! Just because you guys were too stupid enough to discover it that doesn't mean I'm as stupid and as lazy as you guys did , DUH !! Especially when you were a TEACHER , pls be humble !! Ask !! I can tell you that your saying was a whole version of total COMPLETE NONSENCE !! BULL SHIT !! I just don't understand why all people surround me always thought they knew everything about anything while the fact is they don't even know a fuck either. Is it hard to admit that you don't know !? cheh. HUMAN'S. Now have to please her for paying a visit to the computer lab and proven to her that Microsoft version of 2003 do have those so called high technical effects ( did you even know what's high technical effects mean ? If i was allow to use other software I wouldn't even choose Microsoft you dork ) SEE SEE SEE ??? Why makes it so hard !? AHHh !! SUCKS !! Yeah yeah yeah ~ I LOVE TO USE THE HIGH TECH ONES , SO WHAT ? CAN'T ?

Was staying inside the Koperasi now , actually i wasn't allow to go in there , but cause of Yap ( she's a cooperator , was the best still XP , with certificates proven de leh !! No kidding ~~ ) and her teacher nice personality issue , I was allow to sit inside there while surfing for the internet , wonder how ? :P Laptop and Broadband lo ~~ Next , what do I saw ? I saw Yap's stress face ~~ very very stress , like the whole Coop was under in charge by her ( what to do ? she's the best :P HAHAHAH !! XD ) then all those Coop members who had the same duty as her , can't even do a simple thing ! Keep depending on her help.... so , Yap was force to run here run there ~ And her name haha !! XD

>>" YAP !! COME HERE !! "

>> "YAP !! HELP ME !! "

>> "YAP !! YAP !!

''-.- ... MAN ! These people. What are they here for ? Yap do the whole thing lo you guys don't need to finish your duties at all lo ~ ~ so hai !!

But that actually reminds me of a scene in the library when I was 16 that year , and hold the role as the Vice President ( wah ~ yeah lah yeah lah ) for the whole library. I was really friendly though , kinda famous , every each of the library members recognize me very well. I was known as a funny , easy going , approachable person. There is one Indian girl , I ask her to rearrange certain books on the bookshelf , and every each of it must be arranged nicely following with the codes sticker. She might thought that I was joking or what , but she didn't follow my order. This shows that , people who putting too much nice personality on their work , wasn't a nice thing at all. After all , you may attract people to even like you more , but it doesn't mean that they will respect you.Instead of that , they could take advantages on you. Just like Yap.

So I was kinda unsatisfied with her work, I repeat nicely once again , and she gave me this answer : " aiya , nevermind lah ~ teacher wouldn't even notice " .... ( what ? Is this your library now ? Do you own it ? )

After hearing this complete nonsense of hers , Immediately I said : " Wah !! Like that ah ? Ok , next week you don't need to come , I will type the resign letter for you , you just need to rest well at home. "

She was confused i guess , cause she's smiling towards me , thought that i was joking as well. I turn my voice into a more serious tunes , and told her that : " Our Library don't need a lazy person like you , even just some few books you can't handle , what else you can do ? Better go home ~ don't come here and waste my time , I don't like it. ( Indeed I hate it )

The whole library turn into silence for a while , even teacher heard what I said. But I think she did agree with my act though. Then started from that day , my name was a bit spoil... Someone backstabbing me behind,I knew who was it ,but I wouldn't care anyhow.But some did agree with me , and even respected me since for that day. For me,I don't think I have any wrong in that,she was being lazy and has to be taught,I would never put my own private issues into official issues , if you did something wrong ,I have to follow the right law to proceed my duties.

Wah ~ Yap ~~ so stress look ~ don't lah ~ but man Coop's life was far more better than Librarian's , well at least they have something to deal with. Us ? Cheh , sit there lo ~ taking care of that stupid counter , arrange some books , wrap some books , fix the computer , type in codes , doing what a clerk always does. The best one for me was , scolding those public nuisance !! yay !! scold scold scold !! yay !! XD !! COOL AH !!

I don't care.

2008-07-15T23:58:00.001-07:00

Early in the morning. Gloomy clouds were floating all around above the sky.Cold wind came in and blew me out. A very cold morning today , suppose it should be raining then , but nope , just cold wind and gloomy weather. Same as my mood and feelings today.

Arriving at school , very tired. Wah , that presentation took me hours to finish it , damn sucks.Haiz , no choice , is for the competition , moreover , is for Soon.Don't want to disappoint her then.Promised her that I will finish it along with all brilliant effects and music. But first thing first,SLEEP. I could really sleep and forget about the class session which it will began to start , until my class teacher called out my name and making sure that if I was there.... @#$%&$^%*(*&%!!!!!

Obviously ,I was wearing yellow today , can't you see ? I just need that little time for some nap also can't cheh. While waiting for the General Knowledge teacher to come , Soon brought the laptop came and ask me to show her my erm , masterpiece :P wakakak. So I show her , but , fuck.This version of Microsoft was damnmit sucks , all my beautiful fonts and animation effects lost together with the song and all. Shit !! @#%$^*@*&#(*%*# !!!!!! Man , man !! Haiz , don't care , SLEEP. But I saw Soon's expression... she wasn't really happy though... *sigh*.... aaaiiii , ok lah ok lah ~

Me : Hey , why don't I'll bring the Laptop here tomorrow , then we could use my laptop and present it to teacher ? Cause mine has the latest Microsoft 2007 , could be better. Unlike this bariah so hai mah hai stupid version of Windows.

Soon : har ~~ ... are you sure ? Afterward your dad...scold you ?

Me : nah , won't ( actually .... erm... he will ) , I'll bring it here tomorrow ok ?

So , ok , this problem solve. Now , SLEEP.

Desmond : GOOD MORNING PN.NORHAFIZAH !

...... -.-'' FOR GOD'S SAKE !! @#$%@*$(@)*($*&@ !!!!!

Haiz... no choice loh ~ Now I really hate this teacher cause she always pay too much attention on me. Why ? Because my English got A all the time , she will purposely pick those student which she thinks , has the better English. ( Including Desmond and Prishan as well. But she will only pick Desmond for some duties , so Des has to be the slave for her. And Prishan ? She will try to make her feel ashame with her attendance all the time , but Prishan wouldn't care anyhow. )
As for me , everybody knows that I m the naughty one in classes , she pick me for that.

PN.NOR : ESTHER !! WAKE UP !!

ME : K , K .

But , when a person wants to sleep. He/She really mean it !! Can't stand it anymore , wah !! Gou li !! Still need us to finish all those stupid question. ai ai ~ So what did I do ? Still ... SLEEP LO !!

Me : wei Soon , when she came , push me ok ? Now I'll sleep.

Soon : hahah !!! *hehe* esther esther ~ ok lah , you sleep lah , she came I'll call you.

Thanks Soon ~ your the best. AHHHHHHHHH !!! SLEEP AH !! DON'T CARE !!

At last , recess time. After that Bahasa Melayu Class , lagi teruk. I still felt tired , really really tired , no mood , the whole day quiet. Haiz.. Yap ask me for a company to the library .... LIBRARY !!? YEAH !! CAN SLEEP !! But do you really think was that easy ? Really afraid that every minute teacher will wake you up , even in the library , you can't have the chance to nap , plus , there are many students inside there , really noisy , or they will stare at you if you do so. How fuck ~~ I wasn't really comfortable still. But Yap , oh Yap ~ yes Yap ~ that sweet angel girl , she offer herself to let me lean on her shoulders , and sleep , so that I could feel more comfortable on her shoulder , of course I would !! And I really had a great sleeping time , although was only 15 minutes , but I feel satisfied. Her shoulder , woah ~ really nice and soft :P XD !! Thanks Yap ;) glad to know you ;)

After school , having lunch with Soon. Then , wait for my daddy to come fetching me back. I wonder why was he so enthusiasm on fetching us this few months lately ? Who's idea was that ? THANKS TO YOU !! I have to wait for him for hours everyday !! duh !! He came , just as I thought , he scold me again for something that isn't my fault at all... *sigh* Scold lah ~ scold lah ~ scold scold scold , yay !! scold me yay !! hurray !! I don't care ~~ scold ~~

Right now , I just want to get back home , and SLEEP.

幸福其实也可以很简单。

2008-07-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

我喜欢看张曼娟的书。每当读完了她的文章过后，很自然的，就会对人间充满了希望。觉得好幸福。

我喜欢，上网，看ｂｌｏｇ．最近，竟然给我发现了Ｘａｏ＇ｓ　Ｂｌｏｇ　－这位曾经是我同校同学的朋友，竟然有如此的天斌，在文学上大作一翻，显示出他所拥有的天份。可能大家的胃口都蛮一样吧，或者该说，他所写的文章都很合我们的胃口，我们大家都很喜欢读他的做品。每当坐在电脑面前，读着他的ＢＬＯＧ时，嘴角边。。都会很自然的微微笑了起来（ XAO，别误会，我并没爱上你啦），从而忘记了所有自认为是烦恼的小问题，变得很极积与开朗的去面对人生。我真好怀疑他的头脑是怎么来的，就从他的做品上来说吧，他所看到的，所观察到的，都跟我们很不一样。可能，某些人是有观察到一些事物吧，可是，谁能真正的像他那样领悟到其中的意思呢？好，先说明，这并不是无聊没事做，赞爽。这是事实。我相信，看过了他的ＢＬＯＧ的朋友们，也不得不像我这样好好的赞一赞他吧？我应该来一句，XAO，不得不承认，你已经成熟了许多. （还是你本来就是那么样的成熟？）哈哈，读他的ＢＬＯＧ，已经成了我其中的一个习惯（ XAO！！写多谢！别偷懒！！）哈哈哈！！xD !! 每次看完了之后，都会觉得，哇！！真的好幸福！！

昨天，心情很糟糕，很纳闷。看了看FRIENSTER ，看了看IMEEM，发现了。。。T的信息。说真的，我真不懂，应该给什么回应他。或许，还不是时候吧。

可能他看到了这个POST时会生气。但我还是要说。。。T，其实。。。我们大家都还不成熟。更别说谈什么成熟恋爱了，连什么是成熟我们都还不知道。事隔那么多天，该吵的，我们都吵了。那其中的道理呢？我们有去领悟到吗？我知道，也非常清楚。。。你要的，并不是什么年轻人，幼稚的和恋爱，你所要的，是那一生一世，我也是。可你看看我们，你觉得我们真的有可能吗？再这样吵下去，彼此的心，任何一方面都会变淡的。这一次，是你退一步让我。以后呢？下一次？轮到我退一步让你吗？然后呢？再轮到你？根本。。。我们都没能够去真正了解到对方的想法。直到现在，我所能领悟到的，就只有，我们吵的话题其实大致上都一样。你怀疑我，我怀疑你，到何时呢？好，就当作我来逃避我们之间的问题好了，我本身认为，彼此之间都应该分开不聊天好一阵子比较好，让大家好好的反省反省（或许，你该都认为你没有什么地方需要好好去反省的吧？我服了你。）

我真的。。。不想讨厌你。所以我选择了先退出。我为了你所做的一切，你永远都不能够好好的尝试去了解与珍惜。也许你说的对，你在我身边时，很可能会知道我究竟在想什么。可我却不能够保证，我在你身边时，是否也能同样去清楚和了解你的想法呢？我是一个，直肠直肚，率直的女生，认为有某些话，说得越清楚越好。可我发现，每当跟你讨论一件事情的时候，本身都会产生着一种很大压力，原因？是因为你的话说得太多了，倒致到没人能够真正了解你所要表达的是什么，钻牛角尖，含糊不清，真怀疑当初你的ringkasan究竟拿了多少分，真是负杂到～～～～～不行。身为一个女生，我敢说，我为你做的，实在是太多了。认识我的朋友们，你们说，对吗？可到头来，还不是只换来了几个字说 “怀疑我的爱，到底真不真实”。你告诉我，我应当给于怎么样的反应你呢Ｔ？是不是应该大方一点的说　：＂哦？你还在怀疑呀？那好，我就再加把劲，努力去爱死你好吗亲爱的？”　

我问你，你究竟想我怎样，你也说不出个理由来。也许连你自己本身也不知道为什麽你会对我失望，对我生气吧？还是你明明就知道，但因为了面子上的某些问题，你不想说出来？原来，男人，都是这样的。。。尊严大过天。尊严，比任何东西还来得更重要。我并不后悔在你身上赌注了那么多，甚至还很愿意为了让你高兴而偶尔委屈了自己的立场，可我很清楚的知道，宠你，和爱你，是两回事，是不一样的。我很傻，对吧？可我就是为了你，愿意继续傻下去。那又怎么样？你有珍惜吗？有，口头上的珍惜。行动上？。。。＊笑＊

我从来都没要求过你什么。（我问你，我有吗？我有吗！？）又不是叫你买东西给我，（你给我钱，我都不要！！）我只不过是要你好好的珍惜我所给你做的一切，就那么的简单。你别告诉我，就连要怎么去珍惜你也不懂啊？好！！　就当作你是你不懂！！就当本小姐现在搁下所有的面子来告诉你好了！！　就偶尔来个信息，说下你关心我，你谢谢我，你想念我。别总是等我送了给你，你才来一封，或者是等我等不到又来一封。空闲时你都在干嘛？？你很忙吗？笑什么？就当我喜欢甜言蜜语好了！！我就是喜欢！！　那又怎样？既使你敷衍我几句我都会喜欢！！因为我懂得什么叫做自足这两个字！！我。。。很贪心吗？原来。。我很贪心哦？

你看。。你看，搞到我好像在单恋人似的。雾水情缘，暧昧情节，真的。。好难受。跟你们说他是我的男朋友，可感觉上又不怎么实在。哟！！人家都还没认呢　，我又怎敢说出口呢？（连想也不敢！！）因为我不想把我自己变得那么ＣＨＥＡＰ。不过这一点，我从没怪过他。很多事情，要等大家见到面时，才来做个打算。所以，如果连你自己也做不到的话，也恳请你，恳请你！！！别跟我要求那么多！！这样我会很受不了！！我会觉得我很贱很一厢情愿！！很出卖自己去犯罪！！你有考虑过我的感受吗？有吗！！？有吗！！？我受够了！！

在这里，我想说给大家听的是，我与T之间，是異国恋情，每当我跟朋友提起我们之间的事时，第一个反应给的就是：“哇！！怎么那么冒险啊？很难叻。。。”　或者好一点的则说：“好！！我佩服你的冒险精神！”　简单来说，这段恋情，困难的维持程度有超过８０％以上。可我骨子里的叛逆思维却告诉了我：“谁说没可能？我就是那第一个，只要心中彼此都有那份爱，无论遇到什么困难，天塌下来都不怕！！”

我真的好单纯。

但是。。这一份单纯，究竟还能维持多久呢？当然，我也很希望它能继续维持到最后。可现实还是的归回现实啊。。

我不想再乱撞了。我应该，放一点儿理智进去。一点点就好。

夜深人静，我的两个PROFILE也同时design好了。这一次的design就连我自己也都不敢相信我眼睛，竟然可以desigN出和平时不同风格品味出来。我觉得好有成就感，很幸福。我笑了！！哈哈！！^^

原来幸福，也可以很简单。我要的，就是这一份简单的幸福，简单的关怀与问候。原来，它们都难以得到。所以说，这世上的人，往往缺乏的，就是那一颗单纯与简单的心。忘了去领悟真正的意义，忘了去用心，感受这世间一切美好的事物。必经，步划太快也未必是件好事，反之，偶尔慢下脚步来，你很可能发现。。。风，是多么的温柔。。。雨声，是多么的动听悦耳。怎么？感受不到？还觉得很可笑？没办法，人家有内涵。你没有。

pls comment :

www.hamsterqueen.imeem.com

www.friendster.com/reinedessy/

是我错，你没错。

2008-07-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

下雨了。。。雨声滴滴哒哒的。。。仿佛像一支强心针用力的打进我的心。它每打一会，我就痛一会，直致到，我痛得再也忍不着了，终于泪落满面。下雨对我来说，该是开心的。。。温柔的。。。舒服的。。。可今天的雨滴，却反映着我疲累不堪，痛哭与失望的心态。顿时，真的好想。。好想冲出门外奔向雨海中，狂哭一会。因为下雨，所以没人会知道我在哭。此刻的我，只想拥有这一点点小自由，独自的承受着这不请自来的悲痛。到底是为了什么？为了什么？你让我感觉到我们之间，渐渐的看不到未来。我自问问心无愧，能做的，我都已尽了力去做。能改的，我都已尽我全能去改。可到头来，却换来了你一句不满意。虽然，你口口声声说你并不介意这样的一个我，可我知道，你的不介意其实是介意的，托你的福，我知道了我所有的缺点。原来，在你面前，你看到的，只是一个任性的小女孩，处处为难你，口不对言，不知人情世故，喜怒无常，小气，固执，不成熟。。。对，你误会我的意思，也是因为我在语言上的错误？你没错，是我错。我应该先改好我的语言知识，再来跟你说话对吧？不然又导致到你的误会，免得人家还以为，你是吸收能力差，那就不好了。天！原来，你是那么的完美，而我却是那么的丑陋。真是讽刺。天，我们曾几何时。。。变成这样了？？　这是我们吗？好可怕。。。好可怕。。。我真的。。不敢再去面对你。。。抱括我们之间的一切。我不想，我们之间，在挑剔与发现缺点中认识对方。很对不起，因为我的存在，使这爱情变得有瑕疵，并不完美。很抱歉，我没能够去真正的了解你，也没做足本分，做足功课，让你，去了解我。让这爱情失败的，也是因为我的不成熟与不懂得配合演变成而来的。是我的错，你没错。导致到连你自己也不懂你自己在说什么的，也是我。

既然，我的缺点，是多不盛数的话。。好，我退出。放心，我从没怀疑过你对我的爱，我知道你是爱我的，我相信你。只是对你来说，我给你的爱，并不多，很虚拟，也不真实。很抱歉，这也是我的错。你没错。这下你可安心，你仍然完美的，而我仍然是丑陋的。这段爱情里，你赢得非常漂亮，大可跟人家说，导致这段爱情失去的，不是你，而是我。你也不必自责。因为这全是我的错。

我很累。。。不过请你放心。也给我点时间。我会好好的锻炼我自己，以致成为一个完美的情人，再回到你身边。当然，在这期间里，你也可回复自由单身的名义去寻找你认为更好的，反正我们之间，有的只是段暧昧情节，雾水情缘，我不会绑着你的，请放心。

sigh why make it harder ?

2008-07-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

Have a walk in mines , my mom finish her work at 7 pm , so was asked to accompany her until she finish all her job. The mines, the mines , the mines. Haiz.. for now , Is really freaking me out even though others just mentioned the name to me. Man , this place , I have visited this place for over 100 times !!!!! I worked here before , slept here before , played here before , walked here before... date here before... man ... ''=.= , is really really really boring....

After finish all the work she had asked me to do , I decided to went out and have a walk , rather than sitting there at her own company places... listening to their so call great holy rumors about others , talking about something that wasn't even logical to think about ... that's what we call in Chinese >> 三姑六婆，八卦婆。Man , I don't want myself to be like them , not even decreasing my own EQ until the same level like they own. No !! no!! no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I walk out , and went to Living Cabin shop to see whether I could find anything else nice for my friends. Suddenly , a pair of hands appearing from behind , and wrapped around my neck and my shoulders , was shock of course , so I immediately turn my head back and see who is it , ( fucking bastard touch me !!??? ) Then i saw... him... oh dear... is ... ''=.= man .. this guy..

Anonymous : esther ~ ~ why long time didn't find me le ~~ ? bad lah you ~~ hate me is it ?

me : ( oh my God... ~ ) heh heh ... ehhh hehheh ~ where got leh ? Aiya , you.. haha no lah ~~

Anonymous : ohh ~ then forget about me lah ~? ok loh ok loh !! bye bye loh !!

Me : ehh !! ehhhh !! ehh !! no lah ~ hehehhe ( oh plsss... this is fucking crazy what am I doing actually ? ) aiya ~ where got leh ? sha lao , no lah ~ won't forget you de ~~ don't be so lah ~

Anonymous : ok lah ok lah ~ believe you lah !! muaks !! (and.. and.. kiss me on my cheeks.. ''=.=)

well , honestly ... I wasn't afraid that he kiss me or or , wrap his arms around me but... man this is my mom's place man ~ what if.. what if... those "spy" here , saw this.. then they would thought.. he was my boyfriend.. then then... how how ? My mom will certainly kill me especially , his hair... looks like... ok his hair is cool. ^^ but the worse is , my mom !! she don't like this type of hair ne !! she said it looks like la la chai !! ( but honestly , my mom didn't know anything about japanese fashion , so his hair was cool thats the fact )

we walk around ... cause if I don't accompany him for a walk , he will probably disturb me like a child ''=.=.. i don't want that geli geli things happen to me ... so we walk , and he puts his arms around my shoulder , and then to my waist , then back to shoulder , repeated the same action after every few minutes ... then we saw his friend , his friend brought a lover together with him , so Anonymous saw them holding hands with each other , immediately he pretend to be jealous and said >> cheh !! I don't have meh !? Blek !! Esther hor ~ come come , nah !! SEE! ? I have ahhh ~~ ( oh my god !! hahahahah !!!! XD soh lou !!! XD !! HAHAHA !!! ) then we continue holdings hands loh until he needs to go back.

Man... this is tiring. So when I was back to my mom's company , my mom started asking me lots of stupid question , looks like those "spy's" had discovered our "actions" , haiz... cheh.. fuck you. then we both started arguing , she kept scolding things like , erm , what don't be with him? No future lah ~ ? Marriage won't be happy lah ? ( oh my god !!!! For GOD'S SAKE !!!!! Don't think so far ok !!? Shit !! ) I can't stand this anymore then I decided to tell her the truth , rather than being accused that i have a "la la chai" boyfriend cheh !!!

me : ok lah ok lah !!!! aiyo !!! enough lah !!!! what the !! he like guys ok !!? listen !! HE LIKE GUYS !!!! HE IS A HOMO !! we both are like " sisters !! " understand !?

mom ( yeah right ) : har !? you friend with a gay !!? die loh !! I must tell this to your father !! How could you ever friend with such a person !? is dangerous you know !?

me : yeah ah !! yeah loh !! I friend with a gay ah !! so how !? Gay can't be friends ? Maybe I'm a Lesbian still ah !! You don't want me to have boyfriend mah !! Then I'll like girls loh !! ok ? !! better lah !! don't tell me that you discriminate them har ? oh ~ then it means you discriminate me loh !!? cheh !!

mom : what did you say !? Is this how the way you should talk to your own mother ? You should apologize to me instead of arguing and rebel after me !!

me : why should I? I don't think is necessary to apologize with you wor ~ wei , now you are the one who discriminating people !! then you accused me !! then you even control my life !! ok loh ~ this friends not good ? then your friends are all the greatest loh !! neh ~ those auntie ah ~ uncle ah ~~ always accusing others and then spread those stupid non wisdom false rumors about others !! good lah !? oh ~ so you mean , I should be friend with them loh hor ? I tell you !! I won't loh !!

another auntie she was passing by and saw my beg dropped from the chair , she told me about my bag and help me to pick it up , then I said thank you to her , but.. cheh

mom : why can you act sooo nice to others while you can't even speak politely to me ??

me : (man , this whore , really so hai till like that ? ''-.- ) ok , ( with a calm voice ) first of all , I do not feel sorry for you...

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Me : "I pity you."

What? You thinking I'm gonna say 'I love you'?

DREAM ON! CHEH !!

感觉。

2008-07-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

感觉。感觉，究竟是怎么一回事呢？前天，有个可爱美眉问过我这一个问题。

从科学上的角度来说，感觉统合是指大脑将从身体各感官传来的感觉信息，进行多次的组织分析、处理，做出正确决策，使整个机体和谐有效地运作。大脑的不同部位必须经过统一协调的工作，才能完成人类高级、复杂的认识活动，包括注意力、自我控制能力、概括和理解能力。当大脑对感觉信息的综合发生问题时，就会使机体不能有效运作，称为感觉统合失调，主要分为平衡统合、触觉统合、本体感统合、视觉和听觉统合五大方面。。。。。

我想，没人会想用这样的方式来了解感觉的意思吧？

那到底，感觉是什么呢？

爱，是一种感觉。心痛也是。生气，是种感觉。开心也是。可是，心淡了，也算是种感觉么？这点，我并不知道。也很希望有个人可以告诉我。说实在的，其实这感觉对我来说，是门很负杂的学问，搞不懂，也摸不着。我本身，是一个很喜怒无常的女生，对感觉总是抱着一副敢碰又不敢碰的态度。时儿果断坚决，时儿犹豫不决，混乱悲观开朗清晰全都mix在一起，让爱我的人，都感觉到很痛苦很累，好气又好笑。因为他们永远都摸不着真正的我，就好像我永远都了解不到自己般的道理。当然，这也是数位朋友告诉我的事实。所以，连我自己都搞不懂自己的感觉，又怎能告诉这位美眉，感觉，是什么呢？

有人曾跟我说过，感觉。。可以变得很抽像画，也可以很真实。幻想出来的感觉，永远都比真实的感觉来的美丽，幸福。因为，它正符合了你一直以来想要的故事条件。无论是你幻想自己生气时的摸样，开心时的动作，很自然的，你就会把自己陷入一种具有戏据性的感觉之中。。从而无法自拔，再把它们带到真实生活里去，set了一个mind说：真实的感觉，也一定会这样的。可惜，真实的感觉，往往都比不过幻想出来的感觉来得更漂亮，更可爱。

就打个比例来说吧。女人都喜欢幻想，由其是面对爱情问题的时候。我不否认，我也是这样子的一个女人。

to be continue....

粗中有细最有男子气概。

2008-07-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

粗心的男若能有一点点细致的温柔，总能让女人分外感动。

很多女人都希望男人温柔体贴，但他们也都同时欣赏有“男子气概”的男人。从理论上看来，这两件事根本就是相反的。有男子气概的男人，一定有些霸道，有些独裁，纵然他们也有温柔的一面，但要他对别人严酷，只对自己温柔，实在是女人最糊涂的大梦。

然而，有男子气概的男人是吃香的，因为粗犷豪放的他们只要流露出一点点的细心与温柔，就可以比平日斯文体贴的男人更教女人来得感动。

她和他是办公室同事，但任另一部门主管的他，做事时公事公办，威风，认真起来时很可怕，就算是女同事们做错事，他也一样毫不留情的指责，跟他撒娇耍赖都没用。

有一回，在跟他们那一部门合作时，有办公室之花的她在联络上出了一点小差错，在很多人面前被他厉声指责了两句，她躲到厕所里哭。

哭完之后，她为了补自己的错误，那晚主动配合加班到十一点多，直到公事圆满达成。她走出办公室的门时，他大步赶了上来：“太晚了，我送你。”

她等他从停车场把车开上来，他在她面前把车停下来，竟然从驾驶座走了下来帮她打开车门。这一个小小的举动竟然完全改写了她对他的印象，她的心像一快从冷冻厂里拿出来的奶油，迅速在这如同手电筒般微弱的温柔中溶化。

不久她就成为了爱情的俘虏，从此在他的喜怒中认命的浮沉。

她说，当我被他的霸气追赶得无处可逃时，他的一点点小温柔，有使我对他死心蹋地。或许这是命吧。

有的男人虽然外形粗犷，但很会掌握住一些小地方，收买女人的心：在女人冷的时候脱下外套罩在她身上，常比每天买礼物送她让她更铭记在心。

粗心的男人若能有一点点细致的温柔，总能让女人分外感动。这是“物以稀为贵”的永恒真理。

A day in KL

2008-07-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

I was loosing my mood lately , was really really really sick of everything in here. So i decided to have a walk in KL and see anything changes lately , plus , MEGA SALES has started since yesterday so this would be my chance for a great shopping. After taking the bus , I straight away took the train where it stated in Serdang ( shit , waited for three times , still the train was full !!! man !! ) So , I sat there alone , and listen to some music to chill myself. Well , nice weather today , winds keep blowing , my hair keeps flowing ~ at least , i felt comfortable for while.

When I arrive KL centre , I decided to took another train to Timesquare. Bought the ticket , and walk and walk and walk until I reach the Monorail station. I saw some really beautiful European girls passing by , they looks like models. When I arrive at Timesquare , nothing much change here since last time I saw. Things were getting cheaper and cheaper for the sales, I was very excited !! :D haven't felt such enthusiasm for quite a few months. Then I went to Sungei Wang and done crazy shopping !!! muahahahahah !!! XD so happy lahhh !!! XD

Man I should bring more money lah ~ :( cheh , nevermind next week ask Soon to come out :D she would be happy ^^ ( and also force Yap to come ) !!! and of course Jian as well !! wakakakak !! :D :D oh and siong bah ~ i think :P heheheh ^^ XD I bought a pair of cool shoe , and a nice dress for my own ^^ ~ heheh ~ But still.... man something was missing haiz...

There is one shop , three sales girls , one look very cute , and another one looks cool , with short hair , while i was hanging around at their shop , man three of them were so enthusiasm with selling dresses for me , keep promoting and promoting , i don't even have the time to think which one i should buy ''=.= . But muahahah , I'm not easily being influence by your trick girl , i will control and consider properly together with my shopping list blek :P No longer than , the girl with short hair ( kinda cool :P ) wanted to play a game with me , if I can guess which one of them was the eldest , I don't need to buy any dress for them but if I fail in that game , I need to buy then. *haiz.. * Just want to shopping lah ~ what lah~ At the end , I fail. (T.T) So I buy one dress for them , cheh. I found that the girl with the short hair , seems interested with me , maybe she wants to be friendly i guess , but... she want my number... isn't that a little bit strange ? But oh well , doesn't matter much hahah ^^ is great to know more friends ( especially when she is that cute :P ) ^^ keke.

After finishing shopping , I went back home with Bus. The bus was full of passenger , luckily that bus driver found a nice place for me to seat , thanks bus driver :D. Another ticket seller , went talking to me again , he ask me lots of stuff , where do I stay lah ~ , what have I bought lah ~ and then...

ticket seller : Ah Moi ni hao liang mui ahh ~ ( ah moi means girl girl in chinese , ni hao liang moi , means you are so beautiful )

Me : oh ? hahah thank you thank you ye ke ? tak lah ~ ( =.='' *sigh*

ticket seller : nak tak pergi shopping dengan aku minggu depan ? ( definately not pls , he was asking me to go shopping with him next week )

Me : har ? Tak nak lah ~ penatlah nak study lagi hehe ( cheh )

Ticket seller : study ape ? Satu ari je ... tak gune byk masa

Me : ( cheh , is my time i like it ) Eh , satu ari ku boleh buat byk benda tau ?

Ticket seller : ye ke ? haiz ah mui ~ satu ari je , kita pergi tengok wayang , pergi shopping

Me : haha tengok lah ~ bile ku ada masa ku pergi. ( *vomit* don't want !!! )

ticket seller : ala mui ~ tipu lah ~ tengok kamu ni kaya , mesti selalu pergi shopping lah ~

Me : mane ada !! mega sales mah ~ kalau aku kaya , sekarang semua jenama punye loh ~

Ticket seller : ah ~ awak minggu depan keluar dengan aku , aku beli untuk kamu.

Me : HAHHAHAHAHH !!! HHAHAHAHAHAH !! ( haiz... cheh lah you )

when I arrived at destination ,

Ticket seller : ah mui , tak mau , tak mau pergi !! duduk sini dengan saya

ME : hahahahahah !!! XD hahahahah !! ( haiz... esther , except laughing what else ? cheh )

then I leave the bus , and waited for another one at the bus station.

Haiz... still my mood wasn't that good. I know , trying to avoid from the problems I have now was wrong. Maybe I can pretend that nothing else happen , but still , doesn't mean the problem did not exist. I might be happy for a while , but not long I'm sure. The only solution was to confront with the problem. But... how ?

Dearly Beloved...

2008-07-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

Dearly Beloved - Kaoru Wada

Kingdom heart's dearly beloved piano sheets :

http://www.squaresound.com/arrangements/file.php?id=930

TODay....

2008-07-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Today , in the morning , when i woke up , is... 8 am...

.....

WHAT !!!???? 8AM !!!??? fuck fuck !!
I quickly change my clothes , and and wash my face , brush my teeth with extreme speed , my brother was late as well , we both were late today , shit. Then I started to remember something , AIYA !!!!!! Tibo ... :( haiz.... we both promise to chat after he came back from the appointment ne !! :( ahhhhh he must be waiting for me aaaiiii !! stupid me stupid me !! ahhhhhhhh !!! xO !! So sorry so sorry tibo :( man , you waited for me again :( Is my fault ne :( so sorry... *sigh* I must apologize to him tonight :(

I rush to school , and my name has been record T.T... then I ran towards my class , everyone were sitting there quietly , the class session has start. I walk into it , and waved my hands at teacher , feeling awkward and shame , then ,

me : heheheh teacher ^^ , selamat pagi hehheh ^^ ( good morning teacher )

teacher : ehhh , awak ni , lambat hari ni ! ( you were late today )

I just keep smiling and walk to my own place. Phew !!

Then , Desmond was looking at me , I waved my hands towards him and said hi ~ :D , but he ignore me .... T.T haiz... wasn't in a good mood again i guess T.T cheh... *sad sad* Soon came to me and pats my head as usual , then she touches my hair with gentle and smile to me. awww ^^ hehe ^^ Yap was doing her own thing.

During the recess time , Soo Ching said something that makes me feel kinda.... sucks. She was envious about my socializing character , thought that i might be having some tricks to make more friends ... but man ... I don't do any tricks for that =.= so hai. Here's one part of the conversations that makes me really , argggg !! FUCK YOU !!

Soo : Haiz , you don't know es , I wasn't that good as you in socializing and communicating with people , Ya know , not really know pretending and stuff.

Me : Ha ha , oh ? Well , honestly , I never purposely make friends with people. They just came naturally.

Soo : Huh ? So nice ? Nah , then you must be having some nice tactics for making yourself looks gorgeously and people were attracted to you huh especially guys.

Me : ( what ? =.= '' fuck I'm not a prostitute for god's sake !! ) Ha ha , nope , I don't purposely do any tricks for making me feel popular. I don't do that. Friends just came naturally, that's what I said just now. :)

Soo : Oh ? Like that ahh ~ ? Then ok lo ~ you were lucky lo , were fated to have good relationship with all people. Not everyone has those lucks like you have , even how good we are. You are so lucky.

Me : HAHAHA !! LUCKY !! yes , I'm lucky, you were right. So you aren't lucky lah ? Aha... no good relationship with friends ? OR , No people want to be friends with you ? ( this time , I'm piss)

Soo : hehe no lah ~ just not so nice as yours lo ~ don't know why you got lots of friends leh ? But I don't have wor ~

Me : well , i don't see friends as my enemy that's why. Ha ha , no matter how lucky you are , still , using your heart to made friends with people is the most important thing. If your attitude bad , then no friend lah ( blek :P )

Soo : No lah ~ I don't have the luck to have friends lah ~ ( fuck your shit off ) Unlike you ( cheh yeah yeah , I'm lucky cheh ) So lucky lo ~ You were destine to attracts people near you. ( =.='' don't make me sounds like I'm A PROSTITUTE OK !!? )

Me : haha yeah , well it isn't my fault , right ? If people like me , because maybe I'm better lo , won't over being critical minded ( like you ) , then won't easily piss people off ( like you ) , won't predict what people thinks all the time ( like you ) , just easy going ( not like you ) , happy ( not like you ) , said things i should say ( unlike you !! ) , am I right ?

Soo : Yeah lo , maybe lo.

Me : yeah lo ~ you want more friends ah ? Can , of course~ why not. Be like me lah ^^ But not so easy to learn from me lah ~ I'm superb wakakak. Ok lah ~ got to go , see you later then ~ bye ~ remember to smile wor ~ to make , MORE FRIENDS MAH !! HAHAHAHA !! XD ok lah ~ bye bye !! ( *sigh* ''=.= ) I swear i would tore her into pieces if i was allow to do that arggg !!

Afternoon , stays at school for some duties that haven been finished yet. Saw Han at the other room of the library , she was concentrating on her studies alone i see , so i tend to knock the door ... but.... erm .... don't want lah ... don't disturb her... let her study lah ... then sitting there read my magazine alone. Dewan Masyarakat Magazine , mostly about politics , I really found it quite interesting with the way those writer twisting the whole story and shoot us nation ( who wasn't malays ) with their prejudice's and racist mind. Well , they are good , they knew being sarcastic is the best way to made the aren't malays people understand their meaning , by saying DAP influences and teaches Malays on conquering their own country , by saying that BN didn't really understand nation's heart and soul , so that's why malays came to DAP and support other races.
haiz....

DISASTER.

Unbreakable

2008-07-01T23:20:00.001-07:00

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

Unbreakable - Fireflight

I had a weird dream again ~

2008-07-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

I had a weird dream again this evening , I was napping and , this dream cames to me , it feels so weird man , and horrifying.The only weird thing was , sha gua was inside too. And Qin Shun....another old friend of mine , but why is he there ? Then Yoo see seng ? wtf ? was all Inside my dream....

sha gua was another scene of my dream , then don't know when , it change , into another story where Chin Shun and See seng sat infront of me .... I don't really remember the whole story , but only one scene , when Chin Shun and See seng , having some drinks in a restaurant with me. That place was dark , like it was raining outside ... I don't know what place it is , is just a strange place to me.... man oh man. Chin Shun , he looks depress , and was drinking some wine and beer there , he complaints to me about something , but I don't remember what was it. But he keeps drinking non stop... and was angry.. See seng , never drink any beer in real , but I saw him drinking as well in my dream , and he looks tired.... haiz what happen ? Then , horrible dreams began , man , I remember.... Chin shun , he tries to betray me ? Shit I have no idea about this , but the whole dream was scary , I can feel it , and I was afraid at that time , but why him ? And sha gua's dream , I don't remember a thing about it anymore , only one scene where he came out from the door , and look at me.That's all.

*sigh*

Back to China 2

2008-06-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

Ok , let us continue the last Back to China topic. Where was I ? OH yep , about the holly Emperor that owns millions of wifes , concubines and all that. So , that's the reason why the older chinese people especially our ancestor have the same thought as " there is nothing wrong for the male to owns thousands of wives"

Ok , end the males topic shall we ? Let's go to the Female's topic then. Always , since from the ancient time of chinese , the female's , holds no authority in their hands. From the day when they were born , their status were set till the lowest in their family. For example : Lady Desiree , gave birth to a baby , is a girl. When she tend to accept the word " congratulations" by other people who was waiting for her outside the room , what she got was >> " a girl ? oh... I see... is a girl then. " , or " nevermind , this time is a girl , next time could be a boy " .... better one would be >> " nah is ok , baby girl is better than baby boy , at least she could take care of you haha... "
She never had the chance to say " Thank you" , until... the next few years later , she gave birth again , to a baby boy this time , immediately the whole crowd of friends and family came to her and shouted happily , CONGRATULATIONS !! Is a BOY !!!

see that ?

Now back the the Sheung's families , four wifes , never dare to say anything about Husband's perverted attitude. When the new wives came , they could only hide their jealousy feelings without letting the husband know anything about it. Sooner , this jealousy that hides beneath it explode. All four wives tried so hard to keep their status in the family. Back stabbing others , spread false rumours against each other , try to make each other ashamed of their own attitude infront of The Master ( their husband ). They will certainly be happy when any one of them were force to face the PUNISHMENT.Now Let me tell you , what's this so call PUNISHMENT are , different crime has different level of punishment , If you are the one that always backstabbing others and spread false rumours about something , you will get beaten rudely by using a ruler , onto your mouth , until it turns red and bleeding. Another punishment , was using 4 different canes , from the smallest cane ( looks big to me ) to the thickest one ( with thorns ) , the punishment will be perform by their husband , that's the Master , suit with his mood. I remember a scene where the third wives got beaten terribly by using the second thickest stick, until her whole body were bleeding , and full with horrible scars. Her Fourth wives , fornicates with another guy without his permission , the she got killed , by tiding her into a basket , and drowned her into the well ( Any women who tries to fornicates with another guy , is a crime , that will cause them to death , that's drowning them into the sea or any places with water ). Her daughter , was secretly in love with a servant , but unfortunately , her dad , The Master found it , and was very very angry with her. He cut off her hair , until she looks ugly , and lock her into the room. She was the youngest daughter in the family , and was ask to do everything her parents want her to do , reading poetry , playing music instrument , and avoid from reading adventures or loves stories ( because it was called cheap and lowly classes for them ) it is better for their daughter not to went out and see the World , to show the higher classes of their family status.

to be continue...

2008-06-28T03:13:00.028-07:00

I had an appointment with Yap this morning , we already planned to do study group together , and agree to play badminton after the studies.So I took the bus twice as usual does , and arrived at school in 10 am , but unfortunately , another friend of ours , cancel her appointment with us for some urgent issue, she was the one who responsible for our pass year question paper , without her , we can't continue our study group's plan.As a result, me and Yap decided to play badminton straight away without wasting any time, so we started our game , at first , we can't concentrate in playing , kept fooling around with those crazy movements , until both of us went tired of kept talking instead of playing our sports , we then decided to play quietly without too much talking.And yep , we played good. Yap made me breakfast today,it was oat bread with fish fillet , it looks nice , and tasty. Thanks Yap , that's so sweet of you -_^ , next time is my turn to prepare then ^^ muaks ~ After finishing the BADMINTON BATTLE,we started jogging around the whole school , she went tired after two rounds of jogging , so she sat down , and I continued on my own.Then , she took her bicycle , and cycled for few minutes. I went tired as well , so I sat down , and tried slowing down my breath. She came to me , and lend her bicycle for me, well... is been a very long time since I ride on a bicycle , but still , I would love to try that , although was a bit afraid of the bicycle's height , it looks very huge for me... and no one teach me how to ride on a bicycle before... so I wasn't really sure about what I'm going to do next. I almost fell , when I try to get up and sit on it ( haiz... shorty cheh ) but Yap she helped me with it , then I manage to get on , and bicycling around the whole school. Yeah !!! I DID IT !! WAKAKKAA !!! QUEEN OF THE SMARTEST ( BLEK ~ ) :p. That feeling.... was nice...I really loves it, now i do understand why Tibo owns himself a bicycle :P The wind just blew towards my face , and when I look upwards , the leaves , are green and nice ~ like a flows that keeps going.I continue cycling until I reach the basketball field , and so I cycled around the whole field , fascinating indeed , was cool . After both of us finished chatting , we decided to go back or else Yap's mom will gone stormy again ~ She accompany me waiting for the bus , and suddenly , a call came. Well , that was an unrecognized number. But I pick it up , and then :

me : hello ?

People : Hello ? esther ?

Me : yeah ? Is me , erm ... you are ?

People : chee hoe ahhhh ~~~

Me : what ? chee keong ?

People : chee hoee ~~~

Me : ohhhhh ~~ chee hoeeee ~~~ ( which chee hoee ? zheng chee hoe ? or foong chee hoe ? ''=.= ) hey what's up !! yo long time no see !!

People : yep long time no see le , erm , are you free now ?

Me : well me ? ( honestly I was damn tired ) but still , yep free. haha what's up ?

People : well , want to ask you out for yam char now , You suggest a place lah ~

Me : well , erm , ( really want meh ? ) ok lah ~ ( damn ) , south city , Old Town White Coffee Restaurant , see you there ok ?

People : ok see you there , bye bye ~~ ( tu tu tu tu tu )

*sigh*

Me : Yap ah ~... tired ohh ... want to go or not leh ?

Yap : well you just agree to go so then , go lah ~

Me : yeah hor , moreover , he's an old pal , he invited me , go and meet him lah ^^ hehe

Yap : yeah loh ~ go and meet him see whether he's still good or not lah ~ ^^

Me : ok ^^ oh , the bus came lah ~ you be careful wor , bye bye dear ~

Yap : bye bye ^^ take care lah ~

I waved my hands towards Yap after I got into the bus , she waved hands towards me as well. Then , because today was Saturday , the whole Seri Kembangan area was sucks with cars. I left at 1:23pm and arrive there at 2:15 , still got the chance to sleep for a while in the bus wakakaka ~ I suppose Chee Hoe has arrive there as well , when I got in , he follows behind me ( ''=.= ) why aren't sitting in the restaurant waiting for me leh ? aiyo ~~ We both was kinda happy to see each other ( although I was really tired ) but still , hey , meet back old pal ~ thats a great feeling. We both talk and talk and talk and talk , about life , about everything lah !! And I really found that , He has turn into a very mature guy :) I bet he has seen life more than I m , work for his father's company , studying in college , has his own car , was a small boss right now , and met all kinds of people... but still :P the habit of praising himself didn't change at all :P but i guess that's him ^^ that's chee hoe ^^ Our conversation couldn't leave the life during form 1 till 5 , about the friendship we both have and also with others , how cool.

After a few hours of talking , is really time for me to go ~ ( I was damn damn tired) He offer himself to send me back with his car. I saw his car was like woah!!!!!! Nice car !! :D !! I forgot what name was it blek :P hehe :P but hey nice car man ~~ he paid the toll for me , and we both continue a little chat in car , until I reach home , he waited for me inside the car until I get in. What a gentleman ;) I fail to find my keys , the sky started to rain , he still wait in the car until I found the keys and get inside the house. He's a kind lad ;) well , chee hoe , I wish you all the best in your life here ;) jia you my friend. (^_^ )v

If I were given a chance

2008-06-27T05:34:00.001-07:00

If I was given a chance , I really do hope I could stay forever 17. Stay together with my friends again , doing scouts activities all together , arguing all together , crying all together , and happy all together again :) ... haiz... I hope I can meet albert again ... he's the best leader I ever had , and my bestest brother.I hope... we all friends and classmate will run together as a team again , trying so hard for the chinese society activities ... and back stab teacher all the time XD we went passionate with singing , and dancing , *snif snif* and and T.T hardworking together so that all of us could reach the goal for spm.We ponteng class session together , and lie to teachers all together ... we went crazy when teachers were not in class.. hahah those guys always got caught by the fierce dicipline teacher in school Pn pao pao , using the sound system , and call out all their name , while they were playing soccer at the field.The whole school heard that XD how cool !! hahah !! XD nothing ever greater than friends :( especially when they were friends with you for years... :( ..... but now... we sort of loosing contact... all have own lifes .... *sigh* why can't this remain still ? haiz.... still .... things were changing every moment. We have to accept that.

Weird taxi driver .... ''-.-

2008-06-27T04:11:00.000-07:00

After having a whole day learning and cooking ( including writing three pieces of stupid essay ) I was really really really damn tired... and still , Yap asked me to accompany her practicing a song using school's old piano~ So I agree to teacher her one very very very simple song, LONG LONG AGO.Which is a song that can be categorized as level 6 in the piano grades. Is level six , not grade six.I give examples to her , teaches her how to play , hold her hands one by one , sing together with her , repeating the same song over and over and over and over.... again. Few hours were passing by , and she could only manage to mastered the intro version of Long Long ago, haiz...how pity. thats only the verse part...bass part...the frontest note.So then I try asking her to relax and talk with me.And so we did, we both chat and chat until 6 O'clock.We decided to leave the school

I take the bus from school , and arrive at The Mines bus stop.So that I could take another bus and back to my own place.But man , I was too tired.Couldn't wait the bus for an hour anymore... moreover , there were lots of people waiting for the bus....must be full today.haiz.... Suddenly there is one blue colour taxi came in and stop infront of me.A decision was playing in my mind whether I will took the taxi or the bus ? If I took the taxi , it will cost me 10 ringgit... expensive though... but if I took the bus, I will definately went back home late.AH !!! Doesn't care anymore , I'll take the taxi , cost me ten riggit then I don't care.

When I open the taxi's door , I saw a man who had this arabian look , or bosnia , I don't know, but I told him the place I stay and he told me the prize , and I accepted the prize , and that's it. I went back home by taking the taxi.At first , both of us remain silent until when I almost reach my home , I told him to go futher , and he ask me which school I'm taking , I told him that I study at Seri Serdang school , the next thing he ask , was a little bit weird , He ask me whether I had a boyfriend , I said Yes ( bluff haha ) , and then the conversation begins with

arabian / bosnia taxi guy : Ohhh , you have boyfriend , I see I see... how waste..

Me : what ? waste ? haha why ?

Arabian / bosnia taxi guy : well if you don't have one , I might consider to have you as my girlfriend.

Me : oh , haha , you were too kind.

Arabian/bosnia taxi guy : How old are you ?

Me: 19

Arabian / bosnia taxi guy : 19 !? Woah ! I thought you were younger ^^ because you were wearing uniform and you definately look younger than your age.

Me : really ? thanks

Arabian/bosnia taxi guy : well but still , that's quite a young age , I was 10 years older than you , haha me 29 now.

Me : I see , that's cool

Arabian/bosnia taxi guy : hey , why don't you try help me to find a girl like you ?

Me : why would you want a girl like me ? I have nothing good :P

Arabian/bosnia taxi guy : well , you look beautiful

Me : oh ? thanks , that's too kind of you

Arabian /bosnia taxi guy : HAHAHA !! KIND HAHAHAH !!

Me : yes yes , thanks for the compliment

and when he arrives at my place, he IS still talking to me the same thing about finding a girlfriend that looks like me for him and say is more better if I m the one , and so on ,and he handed his phone number to me , just like.... what onisan did the last time... oh my god.He's a random poor taxi guy man oh man. This is crazy. I paid him the money , and tend to get off the car , he still ask me to miss call him , or contact him afterwards. Of course , I put a fake smile for him and say , oh oh , hahah ok ok . ( blek , don't want )and ask me whether did I always took the taxi back home. ( I answer him nah , nope , only this time ... actually :P many times already lo ~~ hahaha !! XD )

the conclusion is , weird taxi driver nowadays on the road. pLS BE CAREFUL.THANK YOU.

一位明星的LEGEND

2008-06-26T05:05:00.000-07:00

林丹。。相信对中国上海七十年代前到后的歌坛人物以及演艺圈有兴趣的人，都会比我更清楚林丹姐的故事。。。她是天涯歌女周旋的好老师，好姐妹。在她还没离开这世界前，曾经生活在明星界丰厚与华丽之地的她。。。并不快乐。而在她失去该有的名气之后，生活简直惨不忍睹。甚至得沦落到做妓女，浮昌的地步。可见当时的上海社会，要持有不断的名气的女歌星，女演员，是件遥不可及的事啊。所以以前的女明星呢，大多都是英年早逝，而且多半都选择自杀。像演艺极好的阮玲玉，和持有金哨子的周旋，都是以自杀来了断自己的生命。。。可在现今社会，也何尝不是这样呢？拿个例子来说，像张国荣这蛮有特色的演员，也走上这條不归之路。唉，做明星的，真难。他们面对的，可不只是单单普通的挫则。。。而是一而再，再而三的波折。。。他们的寂寞，空虚，没人能了解，只因他们都是艺人，要求的，可能茅盾，可能简单，也有可能负杂。越出名的明星，可能越难了解。就好像音乐才子，贝多芬，脾气古怪，喜怒无常，没人能够真正的了解他的想法，说的好听点，这叫艺术家脾气，说得难听点的，不就是怪人咯。人言可畏，我想大家都明白其中的意思吧。　

记得梅艳芳姐曾经说过一句话　：“我每出一张支票，我就会少了一位朋友”。越成名的明星，越会感到寂寞万分。艳芳姐的死，和林丹姐一样。是病死的。虽然她们俩的身世就差了那么的一半，可论性格，在某些地方，还得将她们俩给联想在一块。　

林丹姐的离去。。
让大家都领悟到，
生活对一个女明星来和说
不是丰厚和华丽的赐予，
欲望的复活，
成功的寂寞，
和芳香的痛苦，
隐藏在明星的光环之下。。
吞噬着每一双仰视的眼睛。

在下的照片，是属周旋的样貌。找不着林丹姐的。。请多多包涵哦。嘿嘿。

四季歌 - 周璇之歌

夜上海 - 周璇之歌

I love standing in the rain because no one knows that I'm crying.

2008-06-25T02:19:00.001-07:00

Is raining , and I'm still standing in the rain waiting for my dad to come and fetch me back.I didn't bring any umbrella , usually , I do love soaking in the rain , and was happy for it , but this time , I hate it. My dad always went late when it comes to fetching me back home. But if that person was my brother , he will be the earliest one in the whole world to come. I just don't understand , if you think you want to wait for my brother until he finish his extra classes, why don't you call me ? And notice me about that ? I'm like a fool you know ? I still remember yesterday, when i was asking you to wait only one hour more to come because I need to join the study group together with my friends , only.. one hour.. but you definately can't wait for that and was using a very impolitely tone rejecting my favor , ok, i understand , you have your own work to deal with , I don't deserve to ask you for a help even a tiny little help , only my brother has the right to ask for your help , eventhough he needs you to wait hours for his extra classes. If you don't want to do the same as you did for my brother , fine. But today , was a different thing , I did told you my time was 1:15 pm ( finishing school ) while this morning we were all in the car right ? But did you really listen to what i said ? Or you choose not to listen to my word ? If you insisted to wait for brother , call me then , I'll take the bus myself , don't need your car at all , but you didn't. You think is funny ? Cheh , if I'm the one who ask you to wait for me , I don't think you would do the same for me . And the worse is , I don't know why the hell am I so afraid of you , is raining , I can choose to wait inside the school like I always did during the last time , and you can call me if you have arrive in school , but , you scolded me for that , like it was a very serious problem , asking me why am I waiting inside the school , shouldn't I be coming out standing there and wait for you so that you won't need to wait for me. Hey ... brainless dad ( He isn't brainless , he is smart for pissing me off ) !!! Is raining can't you see that !!?? And is heavy !! rain !! Am I wrong to do that ? Ok lah ~ if you don't feel like fetching me then just don't do it !! I will take the bus myself !! Don't need your car !! And today , you make me feel like a fool , because of your King of the kings order , I needed to wait outside the school , while the sky was raining heavily , my book was all wet and my beg as well ( and my shoe cheh~ ) , that's not the main point , the main point is , I waited for you for hours ( fuck you dad , I'm tired ) , and you only will came to fetch me if my brother had finish his extra classes. Soon's car is coming towards me , she was asking me whether I need a ride back home , I decided not to wait for you , I absolutely felt SORRY for that your HIGHNESS , but this damn phone , No , the damn Hotlink phone card family , I just updated my phone credit one week ago , and is over one week now , they closed my phone credit account and stop me from using it. I can't call you , I have no choice but to wait here or else I would get smack by you again , and i don't want to waste my time arguing with you like I did last time, and is full of bullshit , because you are always the one who was RIGHT. So I waited you like a fool , listening to my mp3 , my tears are out , just feel a little bit disappointed , not with you slut , but me myself. I found that I am really useless , even a small tiny little thing , like now , I can't deal with it. I should learn to drive so that I don't need to depend on you to fetch me , I should work , to earn some money on my own so that you , slut , won't be able to insult me everytime when I need your money to buy some books from school. I should leave this house earlier and fight for my own freedom and my own dreams , so that i wouldn't need to stay here , studying those stupid business courses that I aren't interested with it at all , facing those stupid teachers that always think I would fail in life with my attitude , facing those people who always think I went cheating during the examination , facing those jealousy from my so call friend. I even fail for my own love life , don't even know the ways to maintain a true relationship, even the best one I found now , feel disappointed with my words, I can't send him any cards because I had lost his address ( stupid computer blew up suddenly) and I'm not sure whether he will came online after this one week, I really should call him, telling him that I'm sorry but I don't know how.I just fail everything in my life, even Soon has to help me for some certain matters ( although I don't really agree that seeking for help is a failure act , no honestly , is the smartest and most wisdom choice of all ) But still , I felt really sorry for her to have a friend like me. I m sucks when Yap she was crying for help and tired about her life , I can't do anything for her to leave her fiercely Mom. T.T My tears are rolling , but no one sees it , that's really a good thing cause I'm standing in the rain , no one knows that I'm crying. But you slut ( my father ) I won't hate you , because I've lost hope in you.If can , I really shouldn't consider calling you as my father , but the fact is I can't , this is the fact that no one could ever change. At least a call , but you didn't , instead of calling me , you let me waited you for so long. When I got in the car , you still blame me for not telling you the time instead of saying sorry to me ( well , you won't anyway , always ). Great. For now , I'm speechless.You found it funny for torturing me like that , go on , childish slut. I just recover from fever and now my fever was back again.But luckily wasn't that serious like the last one did.
...
...
...
...
...
...

I m sick of it.

And I want to thank a lower six girl that lend me her umbrella while she tend to leave , thanks , I appreciate your kindness. ;)

strange....

2008-06-23T12:02:00.002-07:00

When I have arrived , I was alone. This places , seems strange and new to me somehow , where is this place ? The weather,is gloomy...it feels like...haiz.. And then I walk , and walk , until... I saw a Palace... a huge palace. The outer design of that palace , was exactly the same as those palace that can usually be seen in the European country. A little bit greeny i remember , but kinda dark colour it was...Something , I don't know what it is , push me in, so i did. I went into that palace , inside it , was dark, no lights , but still remain clear.A women came to me and welcome me in,she told me that she is the one who responsible for bringing me in and visit this Palace. I don't really understand and clear about what she said, and i don't remember a thing now about her expression .So she did brought me in and have a look around....inside there, was gloomy as well...But you can always see lightning and storm surrounding the whole palace... only the weird thing is , you couldn't hear any sounds of it...

I really forgotten lots of thing about there , until she take me out of that huge building , we were still remain in the Palace territory , I saw no lightning and storm again , only gloomy sky. Infront of me , was a very huge swimming pool , beside that swimming pool , there were some basketball players playing basketball over there ''-.- man what a strange place. Next , she insisted me to follow her going somewhere , so then i follow, but i saw two guys that looks familiar to me , I saw Kah Khun and Roti Brother ( My primary schoolmates and also secondary schoolmates , can be considering as old pals ) they both were in the basketball team , playing all together. They saw me , and they call my name , I was totally shock when I saw them both looks taller than they were last time.... I was wondering how they could manage to increase their height that quick ? Both of them are like a giant to me now !! Was indeed , a bit scary... to see them grow that tall. But still , I wave my hands back to them , and continue myself following that women... but... where is she ?

I saw a staircase... so I decided to went up and see what's up there .... I ran upwards , until I reach the toppers floor, I saw nothing.... but just some wooden fences surrounded the whole place... only a certain part wasn't fencing it... so i decided to went down again... but hey? Where is the staircase ? I was using it for the last few minutes didn't I? Oh god , how am I going to get down there ? Suddenly , I heard someone calling my name again , is... near the corner where there is no fences surrounding it...So I walked near there , and seek for the person who was calling my name. Luckily !! It was Khun and Roti Brother, they , woah.... ''-.- they were tall enough to have the same measure height as one building does. Kinda...weird though... their leg looks really thin and fragile.... but long. No longer then I told them about my situation,they decided to help me by asking me to step on their arms and they will bring me down from the top, but ... what !!?? Step onto their arms !!!? Oh dear , please don't scare me , was really high up there , I was frigging scare !! But still I did (xP) . I step on it ( their arms) and immediately Khun grab my body , I hung my hands around his neck and he bring me down, phew !!!! Thanks pal , ;).

Suddenly, the whole thing surrounded me were changing. I was now ,standing in a green green glassy field , with lots of colourful flowers and mushroom , but kinda huge... like those always seen in the television programmed .... erm what was that name again ? Teletubies right ? I don't know what the shit am I going through now , but still this place was freaking awesome, cute and nice. Then i heard some girl's calling my name again, I turn my head back , and I saw Poh yue....also one of my classmate...Huh? Why is she here anyway? She's wearing a very beautiful gaun..and she's beautiful.She brought along some few girls which I couldn't see their faces clearly and properly. They were selling roses... Black roses. Well , wasn't really that black after all , indeed , was darker red. Really nice colour they were. Poh yue grab my hand, like she usually does in the actual world,and bringing me forward...further to some place where I saw lots of Japanese houses , ya know , like those wooden house all rooms combine together... each room has the same measuring. And each room ... has the same decoration ''-.-. I saw each owner of the room was sitting there , playing piano... their piano were all near the doors, and their doors were open as well. They never stop, kept playing and playing , but no sound at all. Then Poh Yue , she came to a woman's room, asking her if she wants any black roses...hey... this woman... she's my school teacher , what the ''-.- Pn.. Leo Lily !? What is this shit going on here!!? As usually does , she stare at us with a pair of cold eyes... and remain silent. But still , she got up from her piano chair , and walk out , choose the biggest black roses from us. Erh... I didn't saw her paying us any money or I forgot about it whatever.... but then she put it into a vase , and continue playing at her own piano. When we tend to leave , suddenly she called my name , and ask me whether I want to buy her roses or not ? what the shit ''-.- then you bought it for what if you wanted to sell me for the first place anyway. But weird... I told her that maybe I would buy from her tomorrow, she still remain silent , and look at me with her pair of cold eyes ( like she wanted to murder someone else ) and sat down again , continue practicing her own no sound music. We all leave... then the whole situation change again.

Ok , fuck you , where is this place now ? Can I just leave here pls ? Is really a strange place it was... I was back to the place where all the sky were gloomy and blue... man this feeling... this feeling was like ..... I was four at that time , and and , my parents use to send me for baby sitting everyday, that place where my parents send me to , the feelings... was exactly the same as now... gloomy , and blue... the skies always seems rainy to me but no rain at all. Then some nice colour of flowers .... is all exactly the same....purple colour lah ~ pink colour lah ~ I always remember , when my dad fetch me in with his car , then ask me to go in myself. Then , there is one nice baby sitter, always smile at me when she saw me. But of course , not all I could remember. I was four that time at my age.

Then the place change again ~ ''-.- shit , gan bi nia but chew chi bai indian marabutt. This time , was a hospital, I saw a room with lots of babies in it.But only one baby were left outside the room. I walk near to the baby, and look at him/ or her... that baby was very very quiet...other babies inside that room , all were crying , some so called nurse ( with a very very strange costume...like holloween costume , cheh , no wonder baby kept crying lah~ ) were looking after them.Then I continue looking at the baby who lies infront of me ~ hey ~ that baby smile towards me ~ cuty one. ^^ Then suddenly, a women appear infront of me ( what the shit ''-.- , wei , stop lah wei ~ you scare me lah ~ fuck you) She was the women I saw at first , when she said she will bring me visiting this places. ( cheh , you fail your duty auntie ~ ) She look at me , and said , this baby , is you. Huh ? @.@ Hey I remember now ~ my mom used to told me that , when i was born , the hospital has no space left for me to stay inside that room , so i was the only baby that left outside the room , at the corridor there.... But still , muahahahah ~ mummy said I was a good girl no cry de !! ( ^^v , PEACE) The next thing , that women said something , I don't really remember what she said... but the only one sentence were clear to me was , what ah... ~ you were born alone ? And will be alone for the rest of your life ? ( in chinese lah ~ ) this is your destiny ? wtf !! choi !! ''-.- man this place was weird weird weird , the situation keep changing , everything kept changing ~ really stupid !! Then she kept mumbles mumbles ~ I can't clearly hear what she says , but this woman, she looks familiar to me, where have I seen her before ?

Actually there were lots of places I had been to ~ including the place where I stay for a night , the place where I found it cool and interesting , but really I'm sorry , I can't remember a thing now , only a few that stated above there , was the clearest part where i could really remember.
The only thing i knew was , I woke up early in the morning , 2am something ,then i discover that everything that happens no longer ago was only a dream , I was sort of afraid with that dream I got because everything seems really weird and strange to me...Mushroom head... huge flowers.. Ancient European Palace... Black roses ... a chinese woman ~ my teacher and some few friends of mine... and some more but i couldn't even remember them.

*sigh* ''=.= tired...

Back to China

2008-06-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

Recently , my mom , has bought a Chinese drama back to home , and was happy about it. Well , usually , i don't see it special honestly , but this time , i was attracted with its golden cd case , artistic and nice , it contains 4 cd in it , was kinda cool to see that. The next thing i did was , read the story synopsis behind that cd case ( to avoid from being a dork,sitting there watching those stupid ass drama ) , and I found it kinda interesting. The story was about the situation in China where after Lincoln Abraham had released those black people from being slaves and France had announced the civilization world changes , no more republic of china and so on because Dynasty Ching has fall to dead lol and Shanghai had change into a modern city by the mostly influences from France,England bla bla bla .

OK , so , the story was about a big family in China , with the ser name Shang (尚) , the big Master , the only ruler in the family (During that time , every Chinese Family will pick the oldest one to be their leader in the family , the leader will took a roll as the "Emperor" ( which only knows sitting there and ordering people ) , orders from the leader must be obey by the members in the family. And what pisses me off was , he was an old fucking guy with four wifes , what !!? blek !! Alright , let me explain to you why he has four wifes. First, he's a pervert that loves to make sex sex sex everyday , Second , China, Foshan was indeed a very boring place ( unlike shanghai ) , no great entertainment , how can you expect a pervert to sit properly without having sex ?
And his first two wife , are old , he sure don't want lo ~ that's why , he search for another two sexy wife to serve him ~ cheh ~ Third , only making love outta nothing was the best game during that time ( Just look at Shanghai then you'll understand what i said , they can almost make love everyday at anyways ... erh... sorry is , *cough cough* anywhere~ hehe ) Fourth , having thousand of wifes was count as a normal thing for mens. ( Look at those fucking emperor )

to be continue......

心灵能量最重要。

2008-06-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

能量。能量必须时时储存，才能释放出动人光华。

曾有一位女老师教诲我们，学历越高的女性，越不容易嫁出去，她特别以我们这班的女性为例子，
说像我们这样的女生，一定会要求另一半 “身材比我高啦，学历比我高啦，收入比我高啦” 所以就是难上加难了。我立即申辩 : " 其实，只要能谈得来就好了。''

'' 谈得来？’’　我的女老师拍案叹息　：‘‘这要求简直是太高了’’

我以为这已是最低标准了，怎么会太高呢？从此以后，我再也不敢谈论所谓的择偶条件。同时观察着，那些不高的择偶条件都是怎样的呢？

这几年来，电视常有相亲速配的节目，收视率也都很不错，我最感兴趣的是，那些年轻女孩高谈阔论，宣告自己的择偶条件：‘‘月入五万以上，要有车子，应该要有自己的房子，至少房子的头期款已付清。。。。。。原来，这就是所谓的‘‘择偶条件’’。

最近有位女性上电视当来宾，主持人例行公事的询问择偶条件，另一位同样未婚的男性来宾清清触楚提出　：‘‘要有长头发’’，我却在一旁困惑着，长头发有什么重要或特别呢？　任何一个女人只要改变心情，都可能把长发剪短，也可能戴上假发变长发，这竟然可以成为择偶必须的条件？　

那位女性后来诚实的说：‘‘拥有相当的心灵能量才是最重要的’’　，　结果引起一阵哗然，议论纷纷，说这不但难度指数到达前所未有的六颗星级，而且有点玄之又玄了。

我的想法是，头发啦，身高啦，收入啦，车子房子啦，都会随着外界环境而改变，其实并不可靠，所以也不重要。真正要与我们长久相处的，并不是这一切可以看见的东西，而是内在的心灵。具有能量的心灵，能在富贵时不迷失，穷困时不消极，知道自己真正想追求的理想与目标，所以不轻易收到诱惑。人生难免有高潮低潮，唯有心灵能量充足的人，才能用保良好的情感与生活态度。

在情侣分手，夫妻分离，情感充满各种不安定因素的时代，我坚信真正能牵手走过人生道路的，都是心灵能量相当的人。

Sick....I will take care of you ~ ^^

2008-06-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Wah.... sick ah ~ very cold ah ~ fever now... Morning , hot like hell , then evening , it keeps raining like shit , the wind is cold , and I was on duty for the librarian again , going back home by bus , And got soaked a bit in the rain , so I decided to wait for my dad to fetch me back at my mom's working place. Mane tahu itu stupid punye air conditioner , keep blowing me , directed to my face , i was damn cold , then my mom she order a hot tea for me , feels a little bit ok after then , but still damn cold. haiz..When back to my home , is already 8 pm something , I have waited my father for three hours , and i do not know the what's the difference with traveling home by public buses.

I started to felt some headache , and cold , but my forehead was indeed very hot. So I cover myself with blankets , no fan , no air conditioner , just me and my blanket , my bed , my room, and my cute pillow. But i can't sleep , so my mind starts to think and imagine things as it usual does all the time , I flash back the memory that happens between me and Soon this morning , at school , when we all have to enter the ICT ( Informative Computer Technology) room for General Knowledge class period. We have some few presentation to finish. But Soon were head to the wash room with Yap , so i decided to prepare the books for them , I took out the General Knowledge text book out from her bag , and her pencil box as well , I thought she might be needed to write something else during the class session ( because i noticed her habit , she always noted down things from the teacher which she thought might be important for the coming test week. ) And so I took out her text pad , oh yeah , she loves drinking water , and then i did the same as well to her bottle. Then Yap , i did the same thing to Yap , took out everything she needed to bring. I was afraid that they might mistaken the the place for the class , so i wrote down a few words on the white board , >> PA class , head forward to the ICT Lab , be quick my dear , or else teacher scold muahahaha ~ XD , dedicated to Soon and Yap XD. << Then i left the class , and ran to the ICT lab immediately.

A few minutes later , they both showed up , on their hand , was the stuff that i had prepare for them , but what i saw was , Soon's wet , teary eyes. I was kinda shock to see that , but never forget to took out my tissues and handed to her , asking her what happen , asking Yap what happen to her. Yap had a sweet smile on her face and said >> Jie jie very touchy nia ~ that you prepared everything for us both , now she love you liao ~ :P
And i was like =.= ''' what ? well ... is a normal things that friends always does ... I don't see any reason for you to cried like that ( of course all these was in my heart blek :P ) But she told me , that never ever for the rest of her life , someone did this to her , not even her ex boyfriend , not even her parents , not even her friends , and she were surprise to see that someone could actually , remember everything that she needed to bring , including her bottle. And she thank me for doing that , also with the tissues...
I was...I don't know.. but i felt some sympathy deep inside my heart for Soon. And was kinda sad to hear that , I mean never ever ? She needs to prepare everything for herself ? How come ? She was beautiful , nice , attractive , i beg any guys would do that for her , and and !! :D friends !! and of course her parents ;) but no ? man i don't know what to say but... I shall only tell her that , Soon , is ok , no one cares for you ? I will ;) . No problem girl ;) wakaka.

wah !!!! cannot ah !!! dizzy !! haiz.. now i needed to lay down for a while. stop here now.

Missing you...

2008-06-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

~ missing you my dear ~

T.T get off of me , i don't need you guys.

2008-06-17T00:25:00.000-07:00

T.T .... *SNIF SNIF* You guys.. really disapppointed me. I don't need a friend who doesn't support me and still discriminating me with your silly so call jokes ... I just needed a friend who will support me T.T , can be just words ,nothing else,I don't need more,then that's enough .Did i ever ask you guys to help me up before ? No.I did not ask you guys to help me at all ,because i knew i could handle all these on my own.( You guys didn't even wish to help me I m sure ) But why did you guys always looking down on me and insulted me with terrible words ? Maybe, you can just remain quietly and leave me alone if you do not wish to discover my real ability ( and always try to find the less side of me ) , and I don't care after all. But at this moment , you guys are over , I was hurt , but still remain strong. I will not give up until the end , and will not let anyone of you to disturb those decision that I've make , because no one in this world could make me feel inferior without my own permission. Pls , would you all just shut up ? If you guys are jealous at me then let's all together battle fair and square ( instead of constantly accusing me cheating in the examination ) ,if you were not , I shall say that stabbing other's back is a cowardly act. Whatever it is , I believe in my own ability, and i wanted to prove you guys that you guys were wrong about me.We'll see. I'll just remain silent now , say whatever you guys wished to say, I did not want to decrease my own knowledge and wisdom because of your cowardly , bad , stupid and negative thoughts . I have my own vision about my own future , you guys are just a bunch of rubbish and small matter to me , instead of what I'm having now, I'll still continue proving myself to be better and better . Sorry to let you guys feel disappoint , but i will continue walking through this journey of mine. And I'm sure that I could succeed better than anyone of you here.Better watch out. Yes , i did cry , but that doesn't mean I have lost , In fact , I have stronger mind ever than usual , and is like an alarm that reminds me to fight for my own dignity, I will not hate you guys because you guys , doesn't deserve for me to hate , I won't let myself to be punish by my own angerness for the mistake that you guys did to me. And I will never !! Drop any single of my tears infront of these dumb humans.

傻瓜gambatte！！

2008-06-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

傻瓜要靠试咯，即将会很忙，之后才放假summer vacation 呢，天，要考两星期那么多呢！！这简直是要把我给逼疯了不成？？我会超想念他呢，两星期不碰电脑，唉。。。不过，这也好，男生吗，该懂得按排自己的时间，有disiplin 才是对的，该读书的时候读书，做事时做事。我就是看上他这点，才那么欣赏他，要知道，认真时候的男人，才是最Charming的，希望我的傻瓜可以Gambatte咯！！当然，这也包括我啦，绝对不可以输给他，也得像他那样才行，和他一起努力，创造更好的未来。；) 爱你，傻瓜，让我门一起GAMBATTE吧！！祝你好运咯!!

勇敢

2008-06-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

I.... haiz... don't know what else i can say anymore...

speechless.. and tired.... ahh.. i 'll just leave them and do my own things.

don't want to waste my time on these little problems.

haiz...just keep it to myself.And say nothing else.

我时常会感到失落，却不知失落本身意味着什么。

花有失落，因为花恋枝头；叶无失落，因为落叶归根。

月有失落，因为月亮会被乌云遮没；日无失落，因为万物为阳光唱着赞歌。

茫然中，我苦思苦索，失落是什么？

是付出惨重代价的失误？

是未经思考就轻易做出的抉择？

在每个展转难眠的夜晚，失落总是象魔鬼纠缠着我，无处诉说！

不过，最近的我，却想通了，

古今成大事者，必先苦其心志，饿其体肤，增益其所不能。

我会越挫越勇。

并且要好好加油。

我要做的，就是尽我所有的能力去办好每一件事，

have vision , have self-esteem , have self confidence , and knowledgeable.

有自信，永不放弃自己，才是最主要的。

真正的竞争对手，是自己。

只要有哪一份心，什么事情都能办到

决不轻易被任何情绪影响。

别人看我做不到？

我不信，我相信我可以，

并且还可以做得更好。

继续瞧不起我吧，你们才是使我成功的源动力。

我是个有知慧的人。

你们所谓的闲言闲语，

决对难不倒我。

因为我听不到，这些所谓的“话题”。

我也不会选择去听它们。

我会活得更勇敢。

勇敢的去爱一个人，

勇敢的悲伤。

勇敢的决望，

勇敢的说话，

勇敢的去做每一件事，

勇敢的去想我的未来。

坚强而稳固。我就是我。爱丝特。

“ 这世界上没有人值得你去为他流泪，真正值得你去为他留泪的人，一定不希望看见你哭。”

烦恼

2008-06-12T12:10:00.000-07:00

" ...你應該這樣 .. 你應該那樣......... "
........................................................

這是我最近常聽到的一句話，
好多的建議一直從別人嘴裡湧出來，
我知道你們都是好意 ~
但我真的好迷茫
不要再逼我，
壓抑的情緒真的讓我有點透不過氣，
我需一個安靜的空間。

天空

2008-06-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

好美。。。竟然给我抓到了。;)

好像天国的边缘。。

想念你。。。

朋友。。。谢谢你永不发放弃我。

好想飞。。。

2008-06-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

好想飞。。。好想伸手抓住云彩。。。飞到天国去。。。再也不回来。

早晨起来，天阴阴的，雨依旧静静的飘着,一寸一寸,一丝一丝。

望着窗外那一直下着雨的天空，听着哗哗的雨声，喜欢这样绵绵的雨天,长长的落着,忘记了晨昏,忘记了时间,忘记了应该忘记的。雨如烟如雾，无声地飘洒在那空地上的瓦砾堆里、枯枝败叶上，淋湿了地，淋湿了房，淋湿了树。

听着雨的声音，慢慢的。。我睡着了。。睡着的其间，我仍然听到可爱的雨滴们，为我唱首催眠曲。好温柔。。好平静。我，很喜欢下雨给我带来的感觉，那哗哗声响的雨滴声，让我感觉不再寂寞，好安稳，好实在。。很舒服。那一份被保护的稳定感，是我一生人中再怎么找也不可能找到。

记得有人写过：人总喜欢夸大自己的悲伤。在某些因素的刺激下，会为自己寻找各种可以放任或自弃的理由。

我想，我就是这样吧。；）

想念你。。很想念。。

2008-06-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

今天开学了，很认真听课。不过，也不免会想起你。。。那孩子气的笑容，阳光般的个性，很可爱。笑起来的他，很帅气，而沉稳中的他，很酷，很带气质。每天听着他说给我听的笑话，好气，又好笑。看着窗外的叶子，想起荷兰国。。想起他。还好今天的课都是revision,不然我又分心了。哈哈哈。但，你总让我心碎。。总让我心碎的你。。。我依然深深爱着。只想告诉你，不管你有多少个缺点，有多少个优点，这一切，都并不重要，重要的是，我喜欢你。希望你明白。

要画海报了。。。知道你今天会很忙，加油咯，你可以的，酷傻瓜。;) 爱你。

I saw her blog.

2008-06-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

Choy send me a link , is Gaby's blog. Well ,honestly, it has been a long time since i talk to her. Just remember she was a very beautiful girl , with long hair , glasses , fair skin. A kind girl as well, loving , and caring. I saw her blog, and found out that, she fail in her love life again this time. Ha ha , love .. love .. love .. everything was about love. Sort of , tired about this "love" thing. I just don't understand... she was a brilliant , beautiful young girl, any guy who have her as lover must be very glad and happy. But the fact is, no , they always disappointed her. Lack of appreciative towards her good. I dont' see any wrong in her, really , but why? On the other hand , i discover one thing, some guys , will appreciate a bitch , they will have the desire to appreciate a bitch more than a kind girl that willing to sacrifice everything for them. This world... is always unfair. I really do hope one day , that Gaby could manage to find a guy that loves her more than she does. I send my wish to her. Good luck Gaby ;)

back to school again... sienz..

2008-06-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

haiz... back to school again tomorrow ,

back to the life again where we need to sit there,

and listen to the most boring class session of all ,

back to the life again where i need to face those fucking teachers,

who always seems to be unsatisfied with my preference,

but when they have problems,

I m always the one to call for help. cheh

The only thing i was happy for is ,

I get to see my pals again ,

Desmond , Yap , Soon

Four of us will sit together again and do NIE i guess this week.

Then , is time for me to get set , and go , score for STPM. yep.

For now , that's the only thing i need to do.

Oh and of course , won't forget my sha gua ;) he he

Love him ;)

19 岁

2008-06-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

再走出一点。。。年轻的梦就完毕了。。好想永远都活在这里。。。

數數手指...幾個月之後,將會是人生另一階段...

19歲...19 这個數目字...令我想起一樣东西...

不過我,不會講!!!

19...真的好難接受!!因為...我不想那麽快就....(講不出来)

雖然19歲可以做好多事情...

我知道...人,始終都一定要長大...

但19歲...令我有一種無形的壓力...

真的好希望,時間可以停頓...

永遠都擁有18歲...

Wake up.

2008-06-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

wake up.. esther..

Is ... early in the morning 4:14am now.. Tuesday... i haven't sleep yet, or suppose I should say , that is my time..everyday... typical me isn't it ? ;)

Listening to one of Minmi's popular songs , Who's Theme , which was one of the theme as well , in the animation of Samurai Champloo..... I have to admit that , I ... Love it. I was falling in love with it , just when the intro cames into my ears...I don't know why...Some sort of blue feelings it would brought me into...sad.. but at the same time, sexy.. intimate...cute.. sweet.. happy.. i love the feelings that has been brought up totally by this song ~Like i could Imagine lots of different things from this special songs... Him... of course , and my .. blue life. Miserable , but , dreamy. I never wish my dream will end up somewhere else , but at the same time , i do hope , i could wake up from it and discontinue with it. Confusing .. indeed. Haiz...

I heard one of this phrases before , from a guy , whom I found him mature , and deep. Sometimes , i don't even understand what sort of msg is he trying to send me , yes , that shows me even more childish and less understanding than i thought. I always argue with him , when he told me that >> ' We are in a dream call youth. Someday, we have to wake up from it. ' I will never understand what that phrases mean and why ? That time , i thought , why ? If , you have a youth in your heart , you will always have a youth in mind!! And what he did was, he could only smile to me , and staring somewhere else with a pair of cold , nostalgic eyes ( like he was trying to send me someting more , but he stop ) then never reply my question anymore... For now.... i understand fully about this phrases. It was true. And why would he stop telling me ? Because i will never understand it unless I discover myself. Then i realize , is really time for me to wake up than drowning myself into that old , past years esther again. I m not , and I shall not be the Queen anymore. The , So call ego and emo Queen. For what egotism and emotional does to me.. has no benefits at all , but only the word cool. Yes , I can be myself , and be rebellious whenever i wanted to be.. but at the same time, I will lost every sense of maturity in my mind, one by one. Judging sense, professionalism , Manners ... and so on. But that's youth isn't it ? Always talking about setting me free and stuff , happy like it does , shouting here and there , being crazy for everything, no pain no gain , try on everything they thought it was cool. ;) ... I love it, but is enough i guess , my youth life.

And , I will say that again... and again.. to others.

' We are in a dream call youth.Someday, we have to wake up from it'

Introduce to you guys , Who's theme by Minmi's , enjoy.

During Holidays ...

2008-06-01T09:00:00.001-07:00

During this holiday season , erm although it only last for two weeks , but it means a lot to me , The first thing i m going to do it , SLEEP !!! SLEEP SLEEP !! Man i really need sleeping though , during the examination week , almost everyday crawling up from my bed at the midnight , went for studies , and is really kut , i needed to set a time , and make sure that i will be manage to memorized all those words on time , like for example , let's say I 'll take business subjects tomorrow for exams , then , set the time ok , in 3 minutes , read page 89 to 90. Then , memorized out everything that you have read in 3 minutes again , then proceed to another page...the whole thing just repeat over and over again , it ends up , my brain is going to burst for that... So , i really needed some good sleeps , no nightmares for me , just sleep sleep sleep... wakaka...

Then , erm , planning for a trip maybe with friends , ya know , is kinda boring to live in my place , no friends , no great places to go , unconvenience enough...So, was planning for a trip to genting highland on this wednesday , but ... haiz for one day only nia ~ man , started to felt that , growing up is boring nia ~ if is last time , i could went out almost everyday in a week , but now , haiz... what the shit , plus , the whether is getting hotter and hotter , wouldn't like it if the whether was that hot , who wants to go out and came home like a rousted human ? Especially a girl like me , muahahah!! I always making sure that my skin won't be burn by the sun , don't want to be like indians ~ blek muahahah !! And all my friends , working , studies ... haiz.. if is my last time , every night we will lepak at the mamak store near my house , Taman University Indah , what a memorable places , almost every single each of my friends live there... *sigh* we can buy beer and sit at the play ground talking , drinking , singing , and all kinds of stuff. coolie , especially when when kester came to my house for piano practice , every tuesday ( there will be a night market held there every tuesday , both of us sure ask denise or or jian or meng juan out de ... now... haiz.. no liao ~ *sad* ) , or or we held on small barbecue community... see that ? Growing up , isn't fun at all.. cheh.

Study , i need to study , that's what i'm fearing of now , STPM , and MUET , really hope i can succeed it , it left only few months now , i have to do it !! Gambatte yo esther !! You !! Can !! You need to be a University student , that's what you always stuggling for , can't lose , can't fall , muahahah !! Don't really score for A's but at least cukup makan for me to be accepted by the University , then then ok liao lah ~ but man STPM is really hard , isn't hard to study , but hard to score , their expectation for pre - University student , is too high nia ~ put so high for what ? man oh man. I wonder did my parents make a research for STPM before ? Why so HAI put me in ? Only knew putting those HAI expectations on me cheh , but do they know i really want this ? for Now , i only have to wait for the death note result. If i was been given a chance to study courses that I wish for , I can sure of that , I will be studying very much more better than what i m studying right now.

12星座自殺前的自白

2008-06-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

白羊座:我就是想自殺沒別的意思.

好!就是這個強硬的態度!我要做的事,別人就不要管, 可是自殺都不管,那咱們也太*&#$%@@**&%#$........

金牛座:我想自殺,可是那個跳臺怎麽那麽遠啊!這麽長時間怎麽還走不到,告訴你!我自殺不成功可不願我,是因爲跳臺太遠了.還有,就是樓下的小吃太好吃了....

自殺的時候都能這樣..........汗!~~~~~

雙子座:我是選擇跳樓自殺呢?還是上*自殺呢?還是服毒呢?都很難選啊!不是我花心,而是沒個都很好啊!~~~~

那個...這是在自殺還是在挑女朋友啊!~~~~~

巨蟹座:完了!我的人生目標沒了,我要自殺.我看看先去樓頂,在爬上欄杆,可是我死了以後別人要怎麽說我啊,我要怎麽寫遺書啊,我的財産誰來繼承啊?我.......

.......想的還真是多,乾脆先去列個表在死好了.

獅子座:我自殺是有理由的,別誤會是別人不要我了.是我對覺得生活太沒意思了,自殺玩玩也很好啊,起碼不用花錢是吧!~~~我先自殺去了,別打攪我!~~~

自殺前還在要面子,獅子還真是.......

處女座:我要自殺拉!你們都別攔著我,媽媽你要好好保重身體啊!哎!~~我叫你別攔著我,等別著急,我現在先不跳,等一下說完我在跳,哎!~~我都說了我先不跳了你怎麽還拉著我啊,你不知道你的手上有多少細菌,多少髒東西嗎?我今天新穿的衣服都叫你弄髒了!明天回家好要我自己去洗啊~~哎別推我啊!~`我還不想死呢!哎!~~你.....

汗!~~~~這是自殺嗎?.......

天秤座:哎!~~~我這麽帥,還要自殺.你這麽醜,還要活著,憑什麽啊!~~~老天!你真是不公平!~~那個人!對!就問你呢?你說我自殺好嗎?我想問問你,我想自殺,可是不知道對不對?你能告訴我嗎?.....

都自殺了,還要徵求別人的意見...........

天蠍:左看右看)沒人發現我要自殺吧!幸好沒人.要是有人看到我自殺還不提前來推我一下啊!恩,找好位置,跳!~~~

還是這麽小心......

射手座:我要尋找我的自由,所以我要自殺,你說我爲什麽要找自由?我就是想找自由,憑什麽你能好自由我就不能找,我也要找自由讓你看看,哎!~~~我還沒說完呢!你怎麽就走了啊!回來!我要和你好好說道說道!~~~

自殺前還要和人理論一番.........

魔羯座:我就是要自殺,誰也別勸我了,我都決定了,誰說也沒用,哼!我要去天堂,誰我都不帶,就我自己去.恩?先想想天堂是什麽樣的呢?

自殺吧!沒人和你搶著上天堂!

水瓶座:我要爲個人而戰鬥,所以要自殺,這個世界太可怕了,我要自殺!~~~

那個...就是你死了,世界好象也改變不了什麽吧......

雙魚座:我想要自殺,可是我又不想自殺了,我很鬱悶才想到自殺,可是我心情又好了,到底要不要自殺呢?我好好想想啊.....

心情變的還真是快啊......

What do you know about Daniel Radcliffe ?

2008-05-31T13:36:00.000-07:00

To : All Daniel's Fans , Run this test and you shall see how well do you know about Daniel ^^

More IQ Tests and other quizzes!

Rain Korean Pop Star join Speed Racer !!??

2008-05-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today's topic :

Rain Korean Pop Star JOIN Speed racer !!?

According to his management (which means it might not be true, or even happen), South Korean pop star and actor Rain (his stage name, his real name is Jung Ji-Hoon) will be joining the cast of the Wachowski Brothers’ live-action adaptation of “Speed Racer” (the brothers’ first G-rated movie, no less). Dark Horizons says that negotiations for Rain (who was recently in Park Chan-wook’s “I’m a Cyborg, but That’s Okay”) to join the cast, which already includes star Emilie Hirsch and Christina Ricci, isn’t yet complete, and there’s no word on what role he’ll play.

Speed Racer’s nemesis will be played by Matthew Fox, so that’s not it. Most likely Rain’s Hollywood debut will be a secondary role, possibly as a fellow racer?

More about Rain from Wikipedia:

Rain (Real name: Jung Ji-Hoon) is a male Korean R&B and pop singer.

He has become well-known throughout East Asia — including Japan, Hong Kong, Korea, Taiwan, Mainland China, Philippines, Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand — as a leading star of the Korean wave, otherwise known as Hallyu.

In April 2006, Time named him as one of the “100 Most Influential People Who Shape Our World.” In 2007, Rain was voted by Time Magazine’s online user poll as the most influential person in 2007, although he was not in the magazine’s actual list. He also made it into People’s 2007 list of the “Most Beautiful People” in the world.

ah !!! Rain !!! You are so cool !! LOVE YOU !!!!!

SPEED RACER

SPEED RACER WARNERBROS WEB LINK :

http://speedracerthemovie.warnerbros.com/

ahhh !! love this song so much !! LOVE DAVID TAO !!

2008-05-29T09:39:00.001-07:00

i really love this song !!!

Man ~ honestly , this song has always stayed in my mind , since i was form 2 , that's 14 years old ba ~ and when the first time i listen to it , i was totally oh my god , this is my song man ~ i really love it !! So , recently , i found it again in one of my USB driver ( i thought i lost it ) , again , i found this song back ~ reminds me lots and lots of memories and stuff ( I m actually excited to hear it ) , and how i in love with it ~ the guitars and clappings ~ feels really cool ~ abit classical and A-capella, add on with some Broadway , making it as blue as it can be , and the meaning ~ woah ~ its , sad ~ indeed. But what i mostly amazed about was that , david , uses his voice , and turn that song into another whole feelings ~ and it was really surprising to know that , he actually create and composes that whole song himself , what a talented singer he was. He plays the guitar , sing the song , although with his voice can be categorized as normal vocalist , but the point is , he sings out with feelings , that's what makes it even more wonderful , i love all of his album ( don't believe me ? try searching for more you 'll see ) , melts people with his voices and musics ~ how great , he certainly knows how Broadway and jazzy and blues should run , such creative singer. And , not only blues he create but also songs with modern creation R@B tunes , how Impressive. I can say , this song , is the most creative song i ever heard in my entire life ~ that's why , i like it for years man ~ for years , is always running in my mind ~ just listen to the intro , you will certainly faint for the guitar's wonderful movement ( I m , but don't know you ) then , it makes me wanna to sing together along ~ muahaha ~ even some well known singer loves his songs as well !!

So ladies and gentleman , presenting ( again ) , ORDINARY FRIENDS , 普通朋友，by David Tao Zhe , 陶喆. ENJOY. ( I save it for my latest theme as well )

普通朋友 - David Tao

Early life

David Tao was born in 11 July 1969 in Hong Kong (Hometown: Shanghai), as Tao Xu Zhong (traditional Chinese: 陶緒忠; simplified Chinese: 陶绪忠; pinyin: Táo Xùzhōng), to parents who were considered famous entertainers in Taiwan. His father, Tao Da Wei (traditional Chinese: 陶大偉; simplified Chinese: 陶大伟; pinyin: Táo Dàwěi) (the latter two characters which can also be read as "David", hence essentially David Tao Senior), was an actor/singer/composer and his mother, Wang Fu Rong (traditional Chinese: 王復蓉; simplified Chinese: 王复蓉; pinyin: Wáng Fùróng), a very well known Chinese opera singer.

David spent part of his childhood in Hong Kong (something which he shared with his audience during his Soul Power concerts in Hong Kong). His parents supposedly eloped when his father could not get approval to marry his mother. David had his education in Taiwan from kindergarten to the junior high school level at the Bethany Campus of Morrison Academy in Taipei. Later, his father decided to pursue his dream of working for Walt Disney, and they migrated to the United States where David Tao Sr. realised his dream and worked as an animator in Disney Burbank.

His parents later returned to Taiwan where his father began his singing career, leaving David to complete his education in the United States. Left to fend for himself, David took on many jobs, including a stint as a policeman in the LAPD, without the knowledge of his parents. Eventually, he graduated with a bachelor degree in Psychology from UCLA.

Career

Later working as a salesman, he was offered a job by reputed Taiwanese producer Wang Zhi Ping, when the latter found out who he was. So David went back to Taiwan, initially writing, and later producing songs for many singers before releasing his self-titled album David Tao in 1997. He has since released four more albums, a live concert recording and a compilation of his best songs. His works have influenced many singers to acknowledge his works more than the normal listener. Singers that actually listen to David Tao include Eason Chan, Jay Chou, Wang Lee-Hom, JJ Lin, Tank, Bibi Zhou, etc.

Trivia

His personalities are best described as "creative, subjective and nervous". He is a typical perfectionist. His hobbies are watching movies & dramas, visiting museums and reading psychology books.

David Tao is also an avid car enthusiast. When he is not working in Taiwan, he enjoys driving his 1970 Ford Mustang in LA.

David Tao is a firm believer of Christianity. He has written songs that have underlying Christian themes and references to them such as, Butterfly, Dear God, Rain and Sweet Hour of Prayer. He also widely preaches in the concept of love, which is central to the Christian belief.

It would seem that his songs contains names of women, the reasons which is unknown. Among the more popular songs using the names of women are Catherine, Katrina, Angeline, Angel, Olia, MelodySusan Said. and

The Taiwanese media later uncovered the intention of the song 'Melody' which is named after one of David Tao's ex-girlfriend (Pinyin: Yin Yue; Melody Yin) from LA. She also returned to Taiwan for a music career. Her song called "Love is Not Here" (愛不在) composed by David Tao is one of her most famous songs. She also had an opportunity to duet with Van (范逸臣) in the song called Ya De Li Ya Hai (亞德里亞海).

Discography

David Tao

In 1997, with the help of Wang and another Taiwanese producer, Jim Lee, Tao released his self-titled first album (David Tao), under an independent label called Shock Records, set up by Taiwanese pop singer Jin Ruei-yao, and her husband. This album set a record in Taiwan during the 9th Golden Music Awards, as the first album from a new singer ever, to be nominated for a total of 5 awards - Best Newcomer, Best Singer, Best Producer, Best Song and Best Album.

Airport 10.30 first caught people's attention, but it was the simply arranged, melodic I Love Youa cappella song, Spring Wind, which was a new R&B version of a favorite old Taiwanese song. David sang all the vocals in this song, which still stands today, widely regarded as one of the best a cappella songs in Chinese. that became one of Tao's signature tunes. The album also featured an

Airport 10.30 was also nominated for the MTV Awards for Best Chinese Video in 1998 along with Coco Lee, who became the eventual winner.

Tao won two of the awards, namely Best Newcomer and Best Producer, becoming the first newcomer/singer to also win a Best Producer award. Tao's first album was notable for the excellent production which, remarkably, was done in Tao's home in Los Angeles entirely. The album also broke new ground in the music style and arrangement with its strong Western-influenced R&B flavor.

Tao shot to an unprecedented meteoric rise to fame following the release of David Tao. Unable to cope with the sudden media attention, he flew back to Los Angeles soon afterwards.

Between David Tao and his next album, besides releasing a remixed Bastard Pop ep, writing and producing songs for various hit Taiwanese singers, notably a theme song which became one of Taiwanese boyband Tension's hit songs, I'll Be With You, David was not heard on the Mandarin-Pop scene for a long while as he quietly disappeared into obscurity.

I'm OK

In 1999, two years after his first album, Tao released his second album I'm OK. This album was claimed to be a best-selling album by breaking the previous record by selling 600,000 copies, yet various critics had claimed that the impact of I'm OK was not any stronger than his previous work in terms of style and arrangement.

Notable hits include:

Rock ballad Rain
Country-flavored Small Town Girl
R&B-influenced Regular Friends
Leave, a soul number.
Close to You, a love ballad.
Tuberose, a catchy a cappella remake of a traditional Chinese song.

In this album, Tao attempted many musical styles, including, unsurprisingly, his favorite rock music. In fact, some critics have noted that each of his songs are different from one another, in terms of their style and music arrangement.

David was nominated for six GMA awards for I'm OK - Best Album, Best Producer, Best Singer, Best Video, Best Song and Best Song Arrangement. He only won the Best Producer Award on the GMA, but Rain later went on to win Best Chinese Video at the 2000 MTV Music Awards.

Black Tangerine

In 2002, Tao released Black Tangerine. Some notable songs in this post-911 album, of which he derived much of his inspiration from:

Black Tangerine, a hard-hitting rock song.
Moon Over My Heart, an updated old Mandarin hit re-rendered in R&B style.
My Anata, a Japanese-influenced rock number.
Angel, a love ballad.
22, a catchy tune depicting the woes of a girl in crossroads.
Butterfly, an under-rated song which he penned about his relationship with God.
Katrina, a surprise demo he wrote and sang entirely in English.

What set Black Tangerine apart was the strong social commentary, including a track consisting of various actual Taiwanese news snippets of unrelated family tragedies and public incidents, placing the state of Taiwanese society in a somewhat negative point of view.

Black Tangerine won various awards in Asia but was, incidentally, overlooked for the Golden Music Awards in Taiwan, where the album was originally intended for.

David has since held a series of successful concerts in Hong Kong, Taiwan, Malaysia and Singapore in 2003, having already won many fans over with his signature simplistic style.

The Great Leap 2005

In 2005, David Tao released his fourth album, The Great Leap 2005. The Great Leap 2005 is David's most successful album so far. The Great Leap had 4 nominations at "17th Golden Melody Awards" however he was only able to grab the "Best Album Award". Notable songs in the album include:

Ghost (鬼), the first single of the album, showcasing an eclectic mix of 80's Disco synth with Linkin Park-esque Metal & Rap elements. The lyrical style, a continuation of the social commentary from the previous album, describes a person's fears among a mass media-driven society that is getting too close for comfort.
Susan Said (Susan 說), a track that combines Beijing Opera's unique singing accent and instrumental arrangement with David Tao's signature R&B style.
Love Can (就是愛你), An infectious sing-along ballad about love. A throwback to his signature tune, "I Love You" from his debut album.
Who Do You Love (愛我還是他), The first ballad single off the album which had tremendous commercial appeal.
Art of War (孫子兵法), nominated for Best Arrangement in 2006's Taiwan 17th Golden Melody Awards, this rock hit featured the "12 Girls Band" (女子十二樂坊) as David and co-arranger, Goh Kheng Long fused hard metal and traditional Chinese instruments into a song leaden with socially critical lyrics.

Beautiful

A fifth studio album by David was released on 4th August 2006. "Beautiful" was a successful album which had 3 nominations in GMA, being nominated with Best Song, Best Composer and Best Male Vocalist. Despite of David being a GMA veteran he never won Best vocalist and this time this was also no exception with David only winning Best Song with his Marry Me Today. Among the more popular songs in the album are the title song Too beautiful, another old song restyled into David's signature arrangement, Can't Get You Outta My Mind, and a duet song with Jolin Tsai, Marry Me Today. It has been rumored that during the filming of the MTV with Jolin on the song Marry Me Today, he refused to hold hands with her, perhaps out of sheer shyness.

Albums

David Tao (陶喆, December 6, 1997)
I'm OK (I'm OK, December 10, 1999)
Black Tangerine (黑色柳丁, August 9, 2002)
Ultrasound (the documentary film) (十一號產房, July 11, 2003)
Ultrasound 1997-2003 (樂之路, August 8, 2003)
Soul Power Live (陶喆現場原音專輯,December 20, 2003)
Soul Power Live @ Hong Kong (陶喆香港演唱會實況,February 17, 2004)
The Great Leap 2005 (太平盛世, January 21, 2005)
Beautiful (太美麗, August 4, 2006)

External links

好朋友 vs 普通朋友

2008-05-29T05:17:00.001-07:00

用最成熟的心态来选择自己的朋友

> > > > > 真正的v.s.普通的

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友从未看过你哭泣。一个真正的朋友有双肩让你的泪水湿尽。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友不知道你父母的姓氏。一个真正的朋友有他们的电话在通讯簿上。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友会带瓶葡萄酒参加你的派对。一个真正的朋友会早点来帮你准备,为了帮你打扫而晚点走。
> > > > > 一个普通的朋友讨厌你在他睡了后打来。一个真正的朋友会问为什么现在才打来。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友找你谈论你的困扰。一个真正的朋友找你解决你的困扰。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友对你的罗曼史感到好奇。一个真正的朋友可以威胁你说出来。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友在拜访时，像一个客人一样。一个真正的朋友会打开冰箱自己拿东西。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友在吵架后就认为友谊已经结束。一个真正的朋友明白当你们还没打过架
就不叫真正的友谊。

> > > > > 一个普通的朋友期望你永远在他身边陪他。一个真正的朋友期望他能永远陪在你身旁！

别逼他。

2008-05-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

别逼他，给他时间想。。。毕竟这不是他想要的。对，我一定要体谅他。　：）现在呢，一定要为他着想，不给他负担。。。应该让他尽量轻松。。　：）

我错了，再重新来过好吗？

2008-05-27T00:20:00.000-07:00

很想见他，抱紧他，对他说声，对不起，我错了。。我们再重新来过好吗？我爱你。。。

Today's topic : The Forbidden City In China

2008-05-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

The Forbidden City was the Chinese imperial palace from the mid-Ming Dynasty to the end of the Qing Dynasty. It is located in the middle of Beijing, China and now houses the Palace Museum. For almost five centuries, it served as the home of the Emperor and his household, and the ceremonial and political centre of Chinese government.

Built from 1406 to 1420, the complex consists of 980 surviving buildings with 8,707 bays of rooms^[1]^[2] and has influenced cultural and architectural developments in East Asia and elsewhere. The Forbidden City was declared a World Heritage Site in 1987,^[2] and is listed by UNESCO as the largest collection of preserved ancient wooden structures in the world. and covers 720,000 square metres. The palace complex exemplifies traditional Chinese palatial architecture,

Since 1924, the Forbidden City has been under the charge of the Palace Museum, whose extensive collection of artwork and artefacts were built upon the imperial collections of the Ming and Qing dynasties. Part of the museum's former collection is now located in the National Palace Museum in Taipei. Both museums descend from the same institution, but were split after the Chinese Civil War

Name

The common English name, "the Forbidden City," is a translation of the Chinese name Zijin Cheng (Chinese: 紫禁城; pinyin: Zǐjinchéng; literally "Purple Forbidden City"). Another English name of similar origin is "Forbidden Palace". In the Manchu language it is called Dabkūri dorgi hoton (Manchu: ), which literally means the "Layered Inner City."

The name "Zijin Cheng" is a name imbued with significance on many levels. Zi, or "Purple", refers to the North Star, which in ancient China was called the Ziwei Star, and in traditional Chinese astrology Celestial Emperor. The surrounding celestial region, the Ziwei Enclosure Chinese: 紫微垣; pinyin: Zǐwēiyuán), was the realm of the Celestial Emperor and his family. The Forbidden City, as the residence of the terrestrial emperor, was its earthly counterpart. Jin, or "Forbidden", referred to the fact that no-one could enter or leave the palace without the emperor's permission. Cheng means a walled city. was the abode of the (

Today, the site is most commonly known in Chinese as Gugong (故宫), which means the "Former Palace." The museum which is based in these buildings is known as the "Palace Museum" (Chinese: 故宫博物院; pinyin: Gùgōng Bówùyùan)

History

The site of the Forbidden City was part of the Imperial city during the Mongol Yuan Dynasty. Upon the establishment of the Ming Dynasty, the Hongwu Emperor moved the capital from Beijing in the north to Nanjing in the south, and ordered that the Mongol palaces be razed. When his son Zhu Di became the Yongle Emperor, he moved the capital to Beijing, and construction began in 1406 of what would become the Forbidden City. Construction lasted 15 years, and required more than a million workers.Material used include whole logs of precious Phoebe zhennan wood (Chinese: 楠木; pinyin: nánmù) found in the jungles of south-western China, and large blocks of marble from quarries near Beijing. The floors of major halls were paved with "golden bricks" (Chinese: 金砖; pinyin: jīnzhuān), specially baked paving bricks from Suzhou. From 1420 to 1644, the Forbidden City was the seat of the Ming Dynasty. In April 1644, it was captured by rebel forces led by Li Zicheng, who proclaimed himself emperor of the Shun Dynasty. He soon fled before the combined armies of former Ming general Wu Sangui and Manchu forces, setting fire to parts of the Forbidden City in the process.By October, the Manchus had achieved supremacy in northern China, and a ceremony was held at the Forbidden City to proclaim the young Shunzhi Emperor as ruler of all China under the Qing Dynasty. The Qing rulers changed the names of the principal buildings, to emphasise "Harmony" rather than "Supremacy",made the name plates bilingual (Chinese and Manchu), and introduced Shamanist elements to the palace. In 1860, during the Second Opium War, Anglo-French forces took control of the Forbidden City and occupied it until the end of the war. In 1900 Empress Dowager Cixi fled from the Forbidden City during the Boxer Rebellion, leaving it to be occupied by forces of the treaty powers until the following year. In 1912, Puyi, the last Emperor of China, abdicated. Puyi sold many treasures to finance his expensive lifestyle, while others were stolen by palace eunuchs. Under an agreement with the new Republic of China government, Puyi remained in the Inner Court, while the Outer Court was given over to public use,until he was evicted after a coup in 1924.The Palace Museum was then established in the Forbidden City. In 1933, the Japanese invasion of China forced the evacuation of the national treasures in the Forbidden City. Part of the collection was returned at the end of World War II, but the other part was evacuated to Taiwan in 1947 under orders by Chiang Kai-shek, whose Kuomintang was losing the Chinese Civil War. This relatively small but high quality collection was kept in storage for many years since the KMT still hoped to return to the mainland. Finally, in 1965, they again became public, at the core of the National Palace Museum in Taipei.

After the establishment of the People's Republic of China in 1949, some damage was done to the Forbidden City as the country was swept up in revolutionary zeal. During the Cultural Revolution, however, further destruction was prevented when Premier Zhou Enlai sent an army battalion to guard the city.The Forbidden City was declared a World Heritage Site in 1987 by UNESCO as the "Imperial Palace of the Ming and Qing Dynasties",due to its significant place in the development of Chinese architecture and culture. It is currently administered by the Palace Museum, which is currently carrying out a sixteen-year restoration project to repair and restore all buildings in the Forbidden City to their pre-1912 state.In recent years, the presence of commercial enterprises in the Forbidden City has become controversial. A Starbucks store, which opened in 2000,sparked objections and eventually closed on July 13, 2007. Chinese media also took notice of a pair of souvenir shops that refused to admit Chinese citizens in order to price-gouge foreign customers in 2006.

Religion

Religion was an important part of life for the imperial court. In the Qing Dynasty, the Palace of Earthly Harmony became a place of Manchu Shamanist ceremony. At the same time, the native Chinese Taoist religion continued to have an important role throughout the Ming and Qing dynasties. There were two Taoist shrines, one in the imperial garden and another in the central area of the Inner Court.

A prevalent form of religion in the Qing Dynasty palace was Tibetan Buddhism, or Lamaism. A number of temples and shrines were scattered throughout the Inner Court. Buddhist iconography also proliferated in the interior decorations of many buildings. Of these, the Pavilion of the Rain of Flowers is one of the most important. It housed a large number of Buddhist statues, icons, and mandalas, placed in ritualistic arrangements.

很糟糕。。。

2008-05-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

糟糕。。很糟糕。。。

心很痛，很紧张。。。

泪不停，不停的流。。

枕头很湿，睡不着。。

来来回回，兜了好几圈了。。

听了无数的摇滚歌。。

怎么心情还是没好转啊？？

饶了我吧。。心真的很痛。。

tibo !! 我错了，请再重新考虑我！！

2008-05-26T02:03:00.000-07:00

no , 我错了，　我是不会那么轻易放弃他的！！我，太转牛角钻了，我明明就不想放弃他，明明就不想，到底为了什么自尊呢？我爱他，就应该让他知道。　我们之间，有太多的ｕｎｃｅｒｔａｉｎｔｙ了，能化解这ｕｎｃｅｒｔａｉｎｔｙ的，就只有，爱。。　我们彼此相爱，我们是彼此相爱的，为什么要分开？为什么就不能为了这伟大的爱，克服一切呢？我相信我能的，就只缺乏了勇气。esther,你自称是个勇敢的女孩不是吗？为何这次变得那么懦弱呢？为什么你忍心伤害他？爱他的话，就要以行动证明给他看，告诉他，你是爱他的，别再ｈｕｒｔ他了，人的忍耐是有限度的，别再让他失望了。要找到互相相爱的人，是很难的，你一定要珍惜他，一定要。什么考验都好，为了爱，硬着头皮冲吧！！我爱你，tibo , 我就要让你知道，我可以为了你改变我的一切，我要很痛快，很勇敢的，爱你一场！！我错了，请再重新考虑我！！我爱你，我们。。再重新来过。。好吗？

~muaks ~ love you forever sha gua ~
~I m sorry , let's start it all over again~

really sorry...sorry to hurt you.. sorry.. I love you..

~ik hou van jou ~
~ Je t'aime aussi ~

我就知道。

2008-05-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

都说了，女人的第六感是很强的。

我就知道。。这故事，总会有结束的一天。。

只是，我没想到，它来得比我想像中得快。

该来的，还是会来。。

我已努力，我已疲累

而我。。。已失去了你。

用多少的心，换来的，只是眼泪。。。

这爱，太难了解了

我们还看不懂。

或许，这又是上天的另一个考验，

不过，很对不起。。。我又失败了。。。

我明白，这会很痛。。。很痛。。。

但它总会成为过去。。。

对他，我很想说，

对不起。我爱你。

你之所以会与我有同样的决定，

我很明白

一半，也是因为我

把你伤得太重，让你失望

另一半，

我们大家都疲累。。

我明白，也并不怪你

或许，好朋友，比较适合我们吧

感情的纠纷，

太复杂了，并不是我们能理解的。

我明白，也并不怪你。

如果你爱着我而我也爱着你

结果还是有段跨不过的距离

这时离开还依然美丽

學生星座十類

2008-05-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

不看不知道,一看嚇一跳,十大類星座學生，你們是在讀書嗎？

第一類.聖人型（垃圾桶型）

對應星座：摩羯座
學名：模範學生；俗名：好學生；渾名：書獃子?(其他別號無數，不及備載…)
特徵：上課筆記，照單全錄之乎者也，決不遺漏
功能：考前總筆記出處
座右銘：一筆走遍天下
出沒地點：80%以上出現在一至三排，講桌前面
理想職業：拾破爛

第二類.標準型

對應星座：巨蟹座
學名：專業學生
特徵：上課渾渾噩噩，下課快快樂樂
功能：保持班級人數，維護師長尊嚴
座右銘：有筆記就抄，有考試就考
出沒地點：幅員遼闊
理想職業：公務員

第三類.一心N用型

學名：地下學生
對應星座：雙子座
特徵：狀似用功，實藏玄機，舉頭有老師，低頭別洞天
功能：磨練老師耐心
座右銘：一寸光陰一寸金
出沒地點：依段數高明分佈，原則以技術高者為前。
理想職業：編輯

第四類.老僧入定型

學名：標本學生
對應星座：水瓶座
特徵：下棋高手，釣魚能人，魔音貫耳，不動其心…
功能：維護教室安寧………（打呼者除外）
座右銘：以不應變萬變
出沒地點：分佈廣泛，90%為間歇性發作
理想職業：巫婆神漢

第五類.靈魂出竅型

學名：超能力學生
對應星座：雙魚座
特徵：神遊太虛，來去自如，偶而傻笑，自得其樂
功能：尋找中……………
座右銘：無入而不自得
出沒地點：呈點狀分佈，82%散佈中間
理想職業：精神病院住戶

第六類.穿梭自如型

學名：業餘學生
對應星座：射手座
特徵：有緣身在同班中，不識其人真面目?
功能：消耗剩餘之公假單！
座右銘：來無影，去無蹤，神龍見首不見尾
出沒地點：…………………（有他的座位嗎？)
理想職業：間諜

第七類.穩如泰山型

學名：霸王學生
對應星座：獅子座、白羊座
特徵：畫地為王，地盤穩固，橫行霸道，目中無師…
功能：加速老師血液循環
座右銘：只要我喜歡，有什麼不可以！！
出沒地點：最後一排
理想職業：山寨寨主

第八類.無聊亂問型

學名：問題學生－又名：愛迪生
對應星座：處女座
特徵：懂也問，不懂也問
功能：訓練師－長口才
座右銘：知之為不知，不知為不知，是知也。
出沒地點：人數稀少，多具慣常性發作傾向
理想職業：國家機關

第九類.自言自語型

學名：自閉學生
對應星座：金牛座、天蠍座
特徵：絮語繁雜，叨叨不休（嚴重者手舞足蹈，不能自己…)
功能：增加上課情緒
座右銘：老師說，我也說，老師不說，我還是說
出沒地點：星狀分佈
理想職業：廣播人

第十類.無辜倒楣形

學名：無辜學生－又名：衰鬼
對應星座：天秤座
特微：因遲到沒位子，被迫坐在前面對老師傻笑。
功能：不致於全班陣亡，使老師沒面子?
座右銘：我下一次一定不遲到了！！
出沒地點：前面三排
理想職業：醫院護工

the friend ... the most ...

2008-05-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

alright first thing first , i needed to stated out all your guys name in this post , so , better don't be angry if i did so , and I m sorry if your name aren't stated in here , maybe give me a call , and i should figure it out something for ya ~ muahahaha !!

Yap - a friend that can share crazy moments with me , and sex addicts the most ( need to talk about sex stuff ? find her then ) can gone very tension sometimes , will make you swt. '''-.- always memorized a book until she went physco , talking to herself often , and doing weird expression often , too straight forward sometimes , making people want to kill her :p

my comments towards her : You can like her alot but at the same time hate her alot. Stop her mouth at times while being together with her , or else you might get scold or being hate outta no reason.

Jian - a friend that can talk and talk to me non stop. "Knowledgeable" i can say , he knows almost anything , have interesting background , and will turn into a monster sometimes , be careful. Simple but fashionable sense. Stay in tmn university , owns himself a hamsap dog , and was a 18 year old University student now , listen , is 18 YEAR OLD UNIVERSITY STUDENT.

my comments towards him : if he started to talk , prepare your mouth. a kind lad :)

desmond : you say he is a nerd ? muahaha ~ he know's transformation. A free thinker
(Kononnya) , always follow Soon jie jie , until others thought he was in love with her ( teacher ask already lo dai lou ~ ) , our big brother in class. and....nothing really much special about him except he is a rich guy , using the latest samsung phone which cost him thousands i dont know ~ and the most handsome guy in form 6 , girls are watching her almost everyday. my god....he is tall.

my comments towards him : When he is angry , he is angry , when he is happy , he is happy. ( and stop teasing me :P blek )

Soon jie jie : Our leng lui in class , also the tallest girl in our class , caring cutey sweety , i love her blek :P out from her leng lui's look hides a cool girl with strong attitude wakaka. she's cool when serious , and cute when she smiles , always like to call me when i m late for school. ( but i never woke up ) :p hohho ~ sorry nia ~ loves Jay chou ,
good results , smart girl wakaka ~

my comments towards her : pls don't smile at me pls !!! I was afraid i might , rape you :p hoho !!

Tibo : A guy with the name of a warrior ( but it sounds like puppy don't you think so ? ) , love games , totally anti sex , mature like an old guy , but somehow acts like an Emo 18 year old boy ( cheh :P blek ) , a kind person , a leng chai , sports sports sports , love to learn , and was knowing as physco , for taking 17 subjects in his school ( i wonder his brain didn't burst , eh ?? ) creative ( with weird thoughts ) lol !! Uncatchable wor ~ melt a girl's heart with a charming smile , and crash a girls heart with his silly yet creative jokes :p hohoho !!! A second Brad Pitt ( well just cut his hair , looks more like him)

my comments towards him >> Salute salute tibo !! Our future anti-Sex Nazi ~ Just a word of sex he might bang you with his M-16 gun :P. Emo , emo !!

Peach , or darren : A guy who always looking for leng lui's :P lol !! And funny ! :p Can be very ngam key with you ( if you respect him) , but also can be very Baria with you( if you don't) sometimes lonely , but won't say out wor ~ love fascinating songs , like me ;) . Stay in the states of Penang ( oi ! peach ! mane saya punye Laksa ? ) Love to call me queen :p ( i m honoured ) Don't know he will read this or not , just want to say.... you are cool !! yeah !! love your attitude !! gou lin !! :P blek ! Was planning to open a school name Saint Peach high school with lots of crazy rules in it , with me :p i'll be the principal :p hohoho !!

my comments towards him : Why call him peach ? Because he loves peach. Why he is cute ? Because he loves baby milo ~ :p hoho

Lupo : Man , he is , a real emo person , loves rock , metal , and stuff. Loves party , but he is totally a kind young man , which only wants happiness :) Love black :P ( my favourite)Loves BMW , and was great on it ~ :) sweet ~ and nice ~ :) But always love weird cartoons wakakkaak !!! really funny and weird cartoons !! lol !! Knows electronic guitars ( teach me ~ LUPO teach me ~ )

my comments towards him: Rocks the world with his attitude !! Nice to him or he'll fuck you :p

Bernard : a very innocent guy that loves classical ~ man he has thousands of Classical musicians name rolling in his mind , anything about classical pianist or musicians history ? Ask him , he is a life dictionary for students who loves Classical music ~ bright future indeed , brilliant with classics sense ~ want to ask him more ? Find him at ,www.pianostreet.com , in the chat room ~ he usually were there answering people
and he loves kissin ~ ( not kissing ah !! kissin ~ Evgeny Kissin) planning to make a 600
pages of all the famous composers pieces together in one book ~ how fascinating.

my comments towards him >> A Classical music maniac ~ :P and a kind mate :P

爱。。。

2008-05-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

好多的感触呢。。。我写，写，写。。。

爱。。。是一种需要，一种缺乏。

所以，我们都喜欢情歌。

不管爱在进行中，还是仍未萌芽，

不管你爱他比较多，还是他爱你比较多。

爱，或被爱，其实。。。都是一种喜悦。

~ 温馨的早餐 ~

泥娃娃的眼泪。

2008-05-24T03:48:00.000-07:00

最近收到几个小女孩的倾诉，我将她们称为小妹。这些小妹告诉我她们和父母亲所发生的冲突，这冲突繁多而锁碎，再疼痛与泪水中，她们压低了声音哭，心破撕成一片片。有一个小妹把愤怒的情绪转移到我身上来了，她锐声质问：“你凭什么教人相信爱情？你以为你自己是谁？你只是命好，身边的人都对你好，你哪里懂得痛苦？哪里知道什麽叫人生？”。我怔仲着，回想起一个女子一切靠自己的拼搏中，经历过的哪些打击和挫折，痛苦啊，人生啊，谁能说得清？同时，心里渐渐明白，我并不需要将自己生活里的坎坷伤痛告诉她；也不需展示自己的新伤旧创。我仔细把她所说的话想回去，看见她的十几岁人生，是在父母亲的欧打与恶骂中度过的，她恨这样的父亲，恨这样的母亲，恨这样的家庭和婚姻。“他们不是相爱之后才结婚的吗？他们不是有过一生一世的宣誓吗？为什么这样伤害彼此，这样伤害我呢？”在包裹着愤怒与怨恨的情绪里，我看见一个脆弱的小女孩，哭喊着爱，她只想要爱家人和被爱，作为父母的，为什么一定要让孩子在痛苦里懂得人生呢？她也有眼睛，　却看不见希望；他也有嘴巴，却说不出情感。

另一个小妹，十八岁，常和妈妈吵架，更常被妈妈打。这一次妈妈叫她去读英文，她说听英文歌也是一种学习，妈妈叫她去死，她辨称老师说听歌也是可以学英文，妈妈叫她的英文老师也去死。小妹回了嘴说，　“那你也去死！！”妈妈又撞墙有打她，简直气疯了，不知道女儿怎么会叛逆直此？　说出这种无情的话？却忽略了女儿只是重复妈妈说的话，重复妈妈的无情咀咒。做为父母的常常ｉ　认为自己辛苦的生养儿女，对孩子莫大的深情，想说什么，想做什么，都可以，却忘记了人在受攻击时会反击；人在疼痛时会呼号；人在被亲爱伤害时最破裂。小妹问我：“我错了吗？大人不会轻易的say sorry，但小孩一定得说我错了。”

我。。。该怎么回答她呢？小妹身上的尘泥，是大人对世界的怨，自觉或不自觉的掩埋住孩子的快乐与自尊，抹煞了他们对世界的信任。如果。。。父母能专心看着孩子的眼睛，倾听孩子说的话，会发现除了“我错了”，我们还能说，“我爱你”还能说，“一切从新开始”。

失落...

2008-05-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

从我妈工作那走出来，已经很晚了。天啊，今天 the mines 是怎麽啦？好多好多来自不同国家的人来这儿呢，而且是突其而来的，吓了那些 food store的人一大跳的（因为赚得最多是他们，整体排长龙，导致不够人手，不知所措）平时显得清静冷淡的超级市场，今天却特别的热闹。。怪怪的。。。打听了一番之后，才获知，原来。。。这些日本人阿,韩国人阿，美国人阿，中国人阿，荷兰人阿等，都是来这attend什麽，How To Be A Millionaire seminar course 的。。。
真服了他们，一个course要整三百块也，还有飞机票费呢？这些人难不成疯了吗？真正的millionaire是那个讲speech的人！！他收了你们一人三百块，他岂不就成为MILLIONAIRE了吗？？
一共有超过八百个人参加耶，大佬！！哇！！顿时觉得人呢，有时真愚蠢，该是聪明的时候，又不放聪明点，不该扮聪明时，却很自以为是的。唉，脚踏实地点，不好吗？真是的。

望着对面直发亮着的一栋楼，顿时觉得空虚，与寂寞，我想这些“朋友“们总爱在这时候闯进来吧？应该说，它们无时无刻都爱在我的生活里出现吧。。。耳边所播放着的音乐，把我所有的空虚与寂寞更有味道的加了个colour, blue. 有时，是蛮憎恨它们的不请自来，却又在心情低落时急需它们的出现。。。很矛，很矛。。

我发觉，人心，是善，是恶。。怎麽分，也分不清的。。你可以说他恶吧，可他却可以比你想像中还要来得善良。。。反之，你可以当他是善的，可原来，他比你想像得还要更恶呢。所以，相信？对我来说，是陌生的，不过却仍存在着淡淡的信念，只是，这信念似乎渐渐消失。。。心淡了。我并不想再像以前那样，期待着什麽，只想告诉你们，leave me alone...或许，是比较好的选择吧，我不忍心浪费你们的时间在我的事情上，却。。想多浪费时间在你们的事情上。明白吗？别再问了，告诉你们，你们也会听厌的。　But i will try all my best to help you guys. :)

wah ~ my palace !! :P

Fucking BARIA PUKIMAK sport car wa ~

2008-05-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

As i was walking towards my house , suddenly a sport car just flew away like fuck besides me , and with just 0.1111111111111111cm ( lol not that much ) i may die cause of that fucking red colour la la chai sports car , man , are they mad or what ? Still , that la la chai driver , show his head out , and shout at me >> OI !! .

man , WHAT THE FUCK is going on here ?! You are the one that shit in the ass !! Not me ? Can't you see the road is just small ? Is not a place for you to race your fucking ass so hai sports car !! And i hate your hair !! It looks sucks and fuck !! Grown up , la la. I wish after this you will face a huge accident , smash yourself into a big big huge lorry , your sport car will be smashing into pieces , and you , will not die , because you will be suffering with broken bones and legs , and no one will save you , not even a grandma notice , because you , are invisible to everyone !!! Including the police !! Muhahahahah !!

And next time !! Don't ever let me see you again !! Because i will throw shits on you !!! You are just a dump ass that slap a bitch on your nose without noticing the pain in the ass !! ( man what am i talking about ? ) And i wish that fuck ass !! Will still be smash into the deepest hell of all !! suffering from punishment !! Hey !! You suck dick !! Don't ever piss off with me !! You'll see how much i curse for ya !!! Go and die earlier better !!

~de wereld is zwart ~

~The world is black ~

Evgeny kissin

2008-05-22T02:54:00.001-07:00

Today's topic

EVGENY KISSIN

Evgeny Kissin was born in Moscow in October 1971 and began to play by ear and improvise on the piano at the age of two. At six years old, he entered a special school for gifted children, the Moscow Gnessin School of Music, where he was a student of Anna Pavlovna Kantor, who has remained his only teacher. At the age of ten, he made his concerto debut playing Mozart's Piano Concerto K. 466 and gave his first solo recital in Moscow one year later. He came to international attention in March 1984 when, at the age of twelve, he performed Chopin's Piano Concertos 1 and 2 in the Great Hall of the Moscow Conservatory with the Moscow State Philharmonic under Dmitri Kitaenko. This concert was recorded live by Melodia, and a two-LP album was released the following year. During the next two years, several Kissin performances in Moscow were recorded live and five more LPs were released by Melodia.

Kissin's first appearances outside Russia were in 1985 in Eastern Europe, followed a year later by his first tour of Japan. In 1987 he made his West European debut at the Berlin Festival. In 1988 he toured Europe with the Moscow Virtuosi and Vladimir Spivakov and also made his London debut with the London Symphony Orchestra under Valery Gergiev. In December of the same year he performed with Herbert von Karajan and the Berlin Philharmonic in a New Year's concert which was broadcast internationally, with the performance repeated the following year at the Salzburg Easter Festival. Audio and video recordings of the New Year's concert were made by Deutsche Grammophon.

In 1990, Kissin made his first appearance at the BBC Promenade Concerts in London and that same year made his North American debut, performing both Chopin piano concertos with the New York Philharmonic conducted by Zubin Mehta. The following week he opened Carnegie Hall's Centennial season with a spectacular debut recital, which was recorded live by BMG Classics.

Musical awards and tributes from around the world have been showered upon Kissin. In 1987 he received the Crystal Prize of the Osaka Symphony Hall for the best performance of the year 1986 (which was his first performance in Japan). In 1991 he received the Musician of the Year Prize from the Chigiana Academy of Music in Siena, Italy. He was special guest at the 1992 Grammy Awards Ceremony, broadcast live to an audience estimated at over one billion, and became Musical America's youngest Instrumentalist of the Year in 1995. In 1997, he received the prestigious Triumph Award for his outstanding contribution to Russia's culture, one of the highest cultural honors to be awarded in the Russian Republic, and again, the youngest-ever awarded. He was the first pianist to be invited to give a recital at the BBC Proms (1997), and in the 2000 season, was the first concerto soloist ever to be invited to play in the Proms opening concert. In May 2001 Kissin was awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Music by the Manhattan School of Music. In December 2003 in Moscow, he received the Shostakovich Award, one of Russia's highest musical honors. In June 2005, he was awarded an Honorary Membership of the Royal Academy of Music in London.

Kissin's recordings have also received numerous awards and accolades, including the Edison Klassiek in The Netherlands and the Diapason d'Or and the Grande Prix of La Nouvelle Academie du Disque in France, as well as awards from music magazines throughout the world. In 2002 Kissin was named Echo Klassik Soloist of the Year. His first studio recording, in 1988 for RCA Red Seal, was of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 with Gergiev/London Symphony Orchestra, and six Etudes-Tableaux, Op. 39.

Among other works recorded for RCA Red Seal are two Chopin recital programmes, one with the four Ballades, Barcarolle, Berceuse, and Scherzo No. 4, Op. 54, and another with the 24 Preludes Op. 28, Sonata No. 2 and Polonaise in A-flat; Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Brahm's Variations on a Theme of Paganini and Franck's Prelude, Choral and Fugue; Schumann's Fantasy, Op. 17 and five Etudes d'execution transcendante by Liszt; Schumann's Kreisleriana and the Bach-Busoni Chaconne; Bach-Busoni Toccata, Adagio and Fugue in C major, Glinka-Balakirev The Lark and Mussorgsky Pictures at an Exhibition; Schumann's Sonata No. 1 in F sharp minor and Carnaval; and an all-Brahms disc including Sonata No. 3 in F Minor and five Hungarian dances. His newest recording to be released in September 2005 includes works by Scriabin, Medtner and Stravinsky's Movements from Petrouchka. A recent duo recital with James Levine of works by Schubert was recorded live at Carnegie Hall and will be a forthcoming release on RCA Red Seal.

Other recital albums included Schubert Sonata No. 21 in B flat major and Schubert-Liszt Four Songs (BMG/RCA Victor Red Seal), Schubert Wanderer Fantasie, Brahms Seven Pieces, Op. 116, Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No. 12 (Deutsche Grammophon) and Haydn Sonata No. 30 in A major, Sonata No. 52 in E flat major, and Schubert Sonata in A minor D784 (Sony).

Among concerto recordings are the Schumman Concerto with the Vienna Philharmonic and Giulini (Sony Classical); Beethoven Piano Concertos Nos. 2 and 5 with the Philharmonia Orchestra and Levine (Sony Classical); Prokofiev Concertos Nos. 1 and 3 with the Berlin Philharmonic and Abbado (Deutsche Grammophon) and Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 3 with the Boston Symphony and Ozawa (RCA Red Seal); Mozart Concertos No. 12 and 20 and Rondo in D major KV. 382, Haydn Concerto in D major, Shostakovich Concerto No.1 with the Moscow Virtuosi and Spivakov (RCA Red Seal); Beethoven Choral Fantasy with the Berlin Philharmonic and Abbado (Deutsche Grammophon).

Christopher Nupen's documentary film, Evgeny Kissin: The Gift of Music, was released in 2000 on video and DVD by RCA Red Seal.

Kissin's musicality, the depth and poetic quality of his interpretations, and his extraordinary virtuosity has placed him at the forefront of the world's new generation of young pianists. He is in demand the world over, and has appeared with many great conductors, including Abbado, Ashkenazy, Barenboim, Dohnanyi, Giulini, Levine, Maazel, Muti, Ozawa, Svetlanov and Temirkanov, as well as all the world's major orchestras. He makes regular recital tours to the United States, Japan and throughout Europe.

During the 2005-2006 season, Mr. Kissin performs in the opening night gala concert for the New York Philharmonic and the Los Angeles Philharmonic and plays the complete cycle of Beethoven concertos with Sir Andrew Davis and the Toronto and Chicago Symphonies. He appears in recital in Spain, France, Germany, Austria, Britain, Norway, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Poland, Serbia, Japan and Southeast Asia.

To visit Evgeny kissin official website :
( with the latest album music )

http://www.kissinmusic.com/

我的心情。。。My feelings and thoughts...

2008-05-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

studying for business ~

我的天空今天有点灰
有时寂寞太沉重
身边仿佛只是观众
你的感受没有人懂
空无一人的一片沙滩
风吹过来，冷冷的海岸
我轻轻斗落着鞋里的沙
看着我，自己的脚印
一个人，一步步的，
好寂寞。。。

看海有些鱼，天，有些蓝
那段爱情，有些遗憾。
真想不知不觉的，游向海天
到最深的地方。。。
听着，海浪温柔的呼吸
看着，云朵飘来飘去
有什麽方法，让自己真的忘记呢？　

Only blue , only blue...
爱让人，好忧郁。
我的心，我的心
蓝蓝的。。
我真的想，找一艘船。。。
远远的离开　，这片沙滩。
每次又回到同样海边
还是会对你想念。。。
想念你，有点 Blue
没有人，能像你
留给我的回忆。。。
有点 Blue.

I miss you ....

today's exam .. sucks...

2008-05-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today's exam...totally sucks , i was kinda into headache after finishing my only 30 objective question paper , and was going to face another essay's paper again ~ man ~ was indeed , really tiring , and sienz.... ( bored it means ) , Macro kononnya ~ cheh ~ poyo punye paper. hate it .But it left me no choice than to finish it ~ haiz... die , die lah ~

BAHAGIAN B = in 5 i could only manage to finish 3 question outta 5 , fuck.

BAHAGIAN C = in 6 question i could only manage 3 as well , shit. ( why that sucks , eh?? )

BAHAGIAN D = was asking us to choose only 2 out of 4 question to answer , man i don't even know what are they asking for .... this time , I m going to DIE. Ok , think , think , think , esther , think...

Look at the time !! You still have 2 hours left , no worries , have much time to figure it out what are those bloody question asking for ~ uhuh ~ i see ~ so , penawaran dan inflasi eh ? Uhuh ~ ok ok .....

( as time goes by .... )

I was sitting there , my mind was blank , and then... looking out the window , staring at those trees..... feeling ... tired. My class is stated at the new building in my school ... third floor , name 6 Sabar Atas , that's my class. My table was located at fourth line , the last table it was , near the window ... I love sitting there , and i absolutely enjoying myself at there. It was cooling and refreshing , the best place i ever found... plus , it stick to the wall , so that i can lay on it , i could look outside the window as well. Outside the window , was all trees and leaves , i can only see the trees and leaves flowing everywhere when the wind blows , is nice to have that feeling , feels like i was in UK private school ~muahaha Alice Smith school ehh ? Or or , Australian international school eh ?? ( because erm , my building was red colour de , dark red i think , and when the trees and the leaves stick together with the idea of dark , red wall. It doesn't feels like Asian school ne , except , if you look further , you could see a fucking pond there , that will ruined any feelings you had :P lol )

Looking at the scenery outside the window , i smile , thinking of him again ~ I wonder , how he's doing now in London ? Must be having lots of fun there huh ~ i guess so , London is a great place , great city with lots of great facilities and stuff , which reminds me of the olden classical London streets like i always seen on story books , or tv's. Nice feeling it was. That sha gua ~ how nice ne , after coming back from France , another trip waiting for him again to explore ~ London , man , i really hope if i was him cheh , cheh , cheh. I m jealous now lol. blek.

( as time goes by again... )

I woke up from sleep , avoiding myself from dreaming again ... Looked at the time , still one and the half hour , cheh , where are all my ideas ? Shit. Quickly hold the calculator , count , count , count and count , inflasi erm , alright let's do it like this , put the formula lah ~ so hai , ok , uhuh , uhuh , oh oh , forget about the penawaran , maybe add up together might found the answer wakakak. FUCK !? WHAT ? no !! Not that large ! .... Ahhhh fuck ! Forgot to divide lah ! so lin ah , haiz. AGAIN !

( half hour later )

cheh , essay , asking those fuck question again , write write write like hell , cheh , ok lah ok lah , what is it asking ? Teori kewangan ???........ What the fuck ? .............. i think is better to go on to the next question. This one , erm , haiya , gave up lah. blek.

( bla bla bla bla bla bla ~ write write write ... ) finish ...

still have some time to sleep , Soon , she was looking at me , laughing. cheh =.='' what's so funny ?

Yay !! At last , finish lo !! Ran out from the class quickly , muahahahah !! Bus !! Bus !! Bus !! wakakak !!

PS : My dad bought a New laptop today , was kinda cool to see , especially windows vista nice designing was all black and i like it , but fuck , keep disconnecting me again , and everything has to reinstall again fuck vista , and is even worse than my computer , man , i was trying to find my recording stuff where is it ? Wakaka , if i found it , will surely play with sha gua de !! wakakakak !!! muhahahahah !! Yeng wor !!

很气很 “激“啊！！！！！！

2008-05-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

妈的！！妈的！！我到底是怎麽啦！！？？　做事总是不顺利的！！　搞得我一直发脾气！！　还是该说我脾气太坏了！！　总是做不好事情呢？？就拿今天的事情来说，温习功课温习到一半时，发觉有一题不会做，就找书啊，此时的我心里已有点点不爽了，怎知，这臭书总是没有我要的答案，翻了老半天，还是没有！！妈的！！我已经ｐｕｔ了很多的ａｆｆｏｒｄ去找了！！这天还是玩我！！不让我找到，气得我立刻把书给狠狠的丢在地上，连我小弟也吓了一跳，不敢多声。接下来就更废了，整身感觉好像发了痒似的，不停的爪自己！！其实皮肤并没问题，只是很想啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！打自己的头！！伤自己！！！妈的！！！　ｆｕｃｋ　ｙｏｕ　！！很恨阿！！！！　很ａｎｇｒｙ！！！不停的丢东西！！不停的拍桌椅，还边拍边骂边咒！！！ｍａ　ｃｈｉ　ｂａｉ　！！！　ｆｕｃｋ　！！！fuck !!!!ａｈｈ　！！！！！！！！！！！！！　很“激” 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
好！！就让我把这份怨气全写在blog好了！！！妈的！！怎知！！ FUCK !!!那个ｌｉｎｅ又来ｆｕｃｋ我了！！！把那ｍｏｄｅｍ摔掉ｆｕｃｋ！！！妈的！！　ｓｏ　ｈａｉ　！！！diao ni !! lao lin jiang !! ma hai !!! 真的！！很想杀掉它！！！妈ｈａｉ　！！！刁到死！！！！真的很想死掉算了！！！　读读读！！　读什麽死人书哦！！！每天都得面对这些废书！！！　到不如叫我去跳黄河泉好了！！！！　还有哪个死人ｌｉｎｅ！！我咒他不得好死！！ｍａｘｉｓ全ｊａｐ　ｌａｐ　！！！　ｂａｎｋｒｕｐｔ　！！给火烧掉总行！！最好！！！！！！　ｋｉｌｌ　！！　ｋｉｌｌ　！！kill!!!!　妈到你们ｈａｉ　！！　都没有！！！！　还有你这个死人ｍｏｕｓｅ　！！！　ｆｕｃｋ　ｙｏｕ　！！　烂到死！！　又难看！！！　动下又不能动下的！！！　去做废啦！！！！　妈ｈａｉ　！！！diao dao lan !! 还有！！你！！　这个ｆｕｃｋｉｎｇ　ｋｅｙｂｏard!!! 最废是你了！！！！我打你！！　打你！！！丢你！！！ｆｕｃｋ　ｙｏｕ　！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！　ｉ　ｈａｔｅ　ｙｏｕ　！！hate hate hate hate hate !!!!!!妈的！！！　死华语ｌａｎｇｕａｇｅ　ｂａｒ　！！！炸倒死！！麻烦到hai!! 这样！！！妈子！！fuck you !!　ｆｕｃｋ　ｆｕｃｋ　ｆｕｃｋ　！！！！我恨啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！大便啊！！！　通通去吃大便！！！！去吃大便！！！！！！我不管了！！ＳＯＯＮ　！！　ＴＨＩＳ　ＴＩＭＥ　ＧＥＮＴＩＮＧ　ＴＲＩＰ，　ＣＯＵＮＴ　ＭＥ　ＩＮ　！！！I DON'T CARE IF I M ALONE !!Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＷＡＮＴ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＶＥ　ＴＨＩＳ　ＦＵＣＫＩＮＧ　ＰＬＡＣＥ　ＯＲ　ＷＨＡＴＥＶＥＲ　ＳＨＩＴ　ＩＴ　ＩＳ　！！JUST COUNT ME IN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MY MOM !!　Ｉ　ＨＡＴＥ　ＭＹ　ＤＡＤ　！！　ＡＬＷＡＹＳ　ＡＲＧＵＥ　ＡＲＧＵＥ　ＡＲＧＵＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＦＵＣＫ　啊！！？？　ＡＲＧＵＥ　ＳＯ　ＭＵＣＨ　ＦＯＲ　ＫＡＴ　！？？　ＦＵＣＫ　ＹＯＵ　！！！　ＧＯ　ＦＵＣＫ　ＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ　ＬＡＨ　ＤＡＭＮ　ＨＡＩ　！！！MA DIAO NI !! YOU DON'T WANT FACE I WANT AH !!!!ＭＡ　ＨＡＩ　！！YOU STUPID SO HAI MOM !! FAT ASS !!!　Ｉ　ＨＡＴＥ　ＹＯＵ　！！！　ＹＯＵ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＴＯ　ＳＣＯＬＤ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＡＨ　ＳＡＭ　ＦＯＲ　ＷＨＡＴ　！？？？　ＦＯＲ　ＳＨＩＴ　ＭＥＨ　！！？？　ＹＯＵ　ＡＲＥ　ＪＵＳＴ　Ａ　ＢＩＴＣＨ　！！A NOBODY !!　ＡＮＤ　ＹＯＵ　ＳＴＵＰＩＤ　ＤＡＤ　！！　ＹＯＵ　ＡＲＥ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＦＵＣＫＩＮＧ　ＳＴＵＰＩＤ　！！！YOU CREATE ALL THIS OUT LAH !!　ＹＯＵ　ＧＯ　ＦＵＣＫ　ＬＡＨ　ＹＯＵ　！！MA HAI !!　ＡＬＬ　ＭＡ　ＨＡＩ　ＡＬＬ　ＭＡ　ＨＡＩ　！！！！！！！！！！ALL MA HAI !!!　ＷＥＩ　ＳＯ　ＨＡＩ　ＢＲＯＴＨＥＲ　！！YOU ALWAYS QUIET FOR SO LIN MEH !?? ＳＡＹ　ＳＯＭＥＴＨＩＮＧ　ＬＡＨ　！！！I THOUGHT YOU NORMALLY LIKE TO DEBATE ??ＷＨＡＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＨＥＬＬ　ＦＵＣＫＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＹＯＵ　！？？　ＨＡＲ　！！？　ＳＯ　ＬＩＮ　！！SO LIN !!!!　ＣＯＷＡＲＤ　！！　ＡＳＳ　ＨＯＬＥ　！！！　ＯＨ　～ IF DABATE WITH ME YOU DARE LAH !?? WITH MOM AND DAD NOT LAH !!??　ＦＵＣＫ　ＹＯＵ　ＬＡＨ　！！CHICKEN !! COWARD ASS !!!ＡＬＷＡＹＳ　ＴＨＯＵＧＨＴ　ＹＯＵ　ＡＲＥ　ＢＲＩＬＬＩＡＮＴ　ＢＵＴ　ＡＣＴＵＡＬＬＹ　ＹＯＵ　ＡＲＥ　ＪＵＳＴ　Ａ　ＢＵＮＣＨ　ＯＦ　ＢＵＬＬ　ＳＨＩＴ　！！！YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF NOW !!Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＣＡＲＥ　！！YOU FUCK YOUR BRAIN UNTIL IT BECOME SHIT , I WON'T CARE TOO !! YOU THREE PEOPLE JUST GO SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE I DON'T CARE AND I WON'T CARE !!!!!!ＧＯ　！！GO !!ＧＯ　！！！　ＬＥＡＶＥ　ＭＥ　ＡＬＯＮＥ　！！！　ＡＬＬ　ＳＯ　ＨＡＩ　！！　ＡＬＬ　ＳＯ　ＨＡＩＩＩＩＩＩＩＩ　！！！　ＦＵＣＫ　ＹＯＵＵＵＵＵ　！！！ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bright Star Soul.. me wor ~

2008-05-17T00:30:00.001-07:00

You Are a Bright Star Soul

Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention

In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you

You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial

And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you achieve

You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy

You possess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define

A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.

Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are Hip-Hop Music

You are expressive, intense, and often misunderstood.

You appreciate being entertained, and you're not easily offended.

You don't shy from controversy or from having opinions.

And while you have a strong personality, deep down you just like to have fun.

What Kind of Music Are You?

Dikir Barat. Man , i miss them.

2008-05-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Today's... teachers day. Almost every student were taking part in this Teacher's day performance shows and stuff , yep included me as well. Everything went quite well accept , erm , the PA system sucks ( told them better change that PA system years ago , cheh , padan muka ) and , the spotlight... was on fire today , wakakak , i found it quite cool , luckily it went better then.

The most impressive performance of all was , i think , Dikir Barat. I always love it , especially when i was in Form 5 , and our whole class were ask to perform something on the stage, and someone ( i forgot the name ) had actually came out of this idea , about performing Dikir Barat.

And so we did , and everyone said it was a great performance , depending on Izac's , syahraffudin's, Syahsnie's humor characteristic , and plus some small chinese community group, that's me , meng juan , poh yue , pui yan , and chin hung ( they found it special 'cause with chinese on it ) creative ideas , and also !! The most important ones , the singer , AIN , wakaka , she sings it good , is kinda hard now to find such teenager sings syahir that well ( Malay's tradition poems or what so ever ) . I found it very special because , i admire the way those guys manly and energetic perform the singing part , when everyone from the front line , has to shout and sing.. it greatly shows out the spiritual movements of an united team , trying to send out their own messages through poems sings and shouts , it was an tradisional art performance , audience will surely feel excited while looking at us performing such great arts. And the clapping we did , was indeed cool. Everything was plan fantastically , and the show was great , and those guys , wakaka , was proud of their own great actions on stage , because Dikir Barat could actually shows out a male's masculinity, and of course plus my team's humorist act , it was really great to see and laugh your ass out wakaka. It reminds me when i was still a little girl , there was a church camp which was held out in cameron highland's if i am not mistaken , those adults needed to performe their own shows every year church's camp , and each one of them form a team. There was one team , does Dikir Barat , did alot of nonsence act but send funny messages to all of us , was kinda impressive especially the main singer , a guy , created those funny words out automatically !! Cool !! He's like a born talented performer. They succeed to perform this complete nonsence show and make us laugh till our ass out!! The audience felt the joy and they won the third place for that. I was totally fond into this special arts. Man !! I miss my form 5 friends !! ARggggg !! If , the time could turns back , i choose to perform Dikir Barat together with all my pals during form 5.

Dikir barat is a style of call and response singing originating in Kelantan . It is well known throughout the Peninsular through local television and performing groups. A dikir barat group, which may be of any size, is led by a tukang karut who makes up poems and sings them as he goes along. The chorus echoes in response, verse by verse. Dikir barat groups usually perform during various festive occassions, and their poems are usually light entertainment and may be about any topic, but are not religious in nature. The chorus traditionally consists of all men, but modern groups, especially those performing on television, often include women. Traditionally, no musical instruments are used, the singing being accompanied instead by rhythmic clapping and energetic body movements. Some groups however do use a pair of frame drums or rebana, a shallow gong and a pair of maracas, for accompaniment.

Now here , was some videos clips recorded by some student where they used to perform Dikir Barat in school or whatever place , I choose which i think is the best . Enjoy.

one and only you ~

2008-05-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

It took
One look
And forever lay out in front of me
One smile
Then I died
Only to be revived by you
There I was
Thought I had everything
Figured that
Goes to show theres too much I know
Bout the way life plays out

Chorus

I take one step away
And I find myself coming back
To you
My one and only
One and only you

Now I know
That i've known lot of things at all
Except the fact that I am yours
And that you are mine

Oh, if you told me that it wouldn't be easy
And oh, i'm not one to complain

haiz....feeling blue ... why ne ?

2008-05-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

haiz... haiz... haiz... feeling blue... haiz... tomorrow BM test lagi pula ~ haiz... friday need to attent school , for teachers day , well i always absence for that , but this year , i needed to go , because that shit fuck off teacher , ask me to play piano infront of all people , as for the music band team , and she want me to play those fuckest song ever , Guru Malaysia , what the fuck !? That one call song ? So hai lah ru !! Kami guru malaysia wa ~ Still want me to create bass !? Is easy but is horrible !! That song is a suck dick !! No one ever wants to hear that !! Fuck you lah !! You all fucking teacher just sing and then all students faint loh ~ vomit also got lah , crazy also got lah ~ mentally problem also got lah ~ shittest song ever !! ever !! haiz !!! Wasting my time for those fucking song !! hate it !!

13 May 2008

2008-05-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

He's leaving...
Today's exam... Business. I used the last few hours studying this one today :P ( lazy me ) but !! But !!! lol !! I could manage to finish it until the last question , muahahaha , they didn't get me anyway :p muahahaha !! Is easy as hell !! Oh well , just reading the key words that is , and create your own sentences , Smart leh ( aiyak !! Pukimak myself again here, gosh boy oh boy Oiii ! wake up !! Piak Piak !! ) But man , i found out that using the last minute to study, could be scoring a's too , because when you realize you didn't have much time left , you would concentrate more , and Yap , Soon , and me today was like having a speech over there (ｅｘｃｌｕｄｅ　Ｓｏｏｎ） :p especially Yap　， man , you should see the way she memories those passage , is like a lawyer that keeps talking talking talking bla bla bla , so , was kinda annoying , i was totally AMAZED by her BRAVE action ( why i call it brave huh ? Because when everyone was trying to study quietly and was hoping for a peaceful environment , she was the only one there doing her so call speech , her voice man was indeed very annoying lah ~ i can't manage to concentrate on what i had remember then ) So i decided , to have a " WAR " with her , muahahahah !! Both of us , went crazy back then , keep DEBATING with each other ( only the thing is , our so called debates , doesn't have any relations with both side's OPINIONS :p ) I have my own topics , she had her own ones too , all's fair.

After finishing my HOLY examination , we decided to sent him , B.D , until the airport , He will be leaving to China today so ... not much time for celebration , but we did have our great time back then , in Mid Valley , The Garden , he decided to give us the last treats for his so long fairwell good bye ~ And each one of us , gave him a gift , as for souveniers , some of us had given him a mp3s player ( mickey mouse head de really cute ) , some bought him a very artistic photo frame which includes photos about us all together having such great and happy times before ~ I bought him a watch ... which is the one he always wanted , he was happy i guess , and burst into tears man was really touching when we were trying to convince him that , we'll still remember him always , and forever and was happy for having such a great pal in our life before. He promise to come back for us one day. Is a great far well party.

While on the airport , we greeted him really well ~ waiting for his flight to arrive in time. While everyone was going for toilet, I purposely make a tiny little time between us for some talk , because he doesn't really talk to me lately .... Kinda felt akward when , i was asking him something and he just answer ~ ( because usually won't , he will talk talk talk and talk until my ear tak boleh tahan , i think if accident happens , he wouldn't notice as well ) SO this time , is my turn to keep talking talking talking , like nuts. But honestly , I would felt some emptyness if he keeps zipping his lips and wouldn't talk to me like usually does, something was not feeling right , man i don't like this. And when i totally have nothing else to talk about , we both remain silence , until

he said >> .... " es , erm .. " ,

me >> " yes ? "

he stop a while , and continue again >> I will call you , ok ?

me >> " har ? " ( was kinda surprise , thought i would went wrong on that or something )

he repeat it again with some loud voice >> I will call you , ok ??

me >> " well.. ok .. " and smile and nodded

he just smile and nodded his head... i never seen him like that before. is.. humble.

13 may 2008 , was the day when our brother D left Malaysia. We will never forget that.

Here , i introduce a song for everyone of you who visit my blog ~ song for today is Just friend 普通朋友 by david tao 陶吉吉。Enjoy.

今天的我。。。

2008-05-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

，今天的我。。。好累。。。好不容易考完了两张呢。。。听着！才两张，就已经把我的人搞得“伤痕累累“ 的。。。明天还的再“打仗“ 呢。加油咯，笨 ther ther. 真是的，那MUET本生的英文并不难了解，可偏偏它所出的题目，都让我们头痛呢！！　答案根本都差不多嘛　～　唉　，希望这次拿个ｂａｎｄ　４　就好了，不然又被老师“呻”了。。人生的痛苦，莫过于考试成绩，而是老师的鸡叫声叻。。。还有就是那ＰＡ，又画ＧＲＡＰＨ，又写两篇作文，三篇理论的，搞得我差点就“翻台“不做了呢！！吐血了！！还好。。有晶晶在旁边，她那漂亮的脸孔，足以让我欣赏了之后，回复斗气！！永不放弃！！好可爱的晶晶哦~ 一直向我点头的~ 嘿嘿

回来得路程还真是累，再大热天的底下，还得等那废材臭RAPID，取的名字更衰，一点Efficiency都没叻，等了老半天，才来了一趟，本还以为，可以不用忧了，直接坐回家就好，怎知！！他妈的！！　那臭ｄｒｉｖｅｒ把我们都载到了去陌生的地方，然后才跟我们说：对不起啊～这程巴士路线改了没通知　～　ｗｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｆｕｃｋ　！！？　你有没搞错！？那样也可以啊！？我还是头一次听到这叻！！臭LIM BEH 你啊！！　ｋａｎａｓａｉ　ｌａｈ　ｒｕ　！！　那还不要紧，载我们回去啊！！　这是ｒｅｓｐｏｓｓｉｂｌｅ　ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｏｗｎ　ｍｉｓｔａｋｅ　，不过他没有，还把我载到去另个巴士站，　也就是说，又要等咯。。。　ＦＵＣＫ　ＹＯＵ　！！！　等等等！！　本小姐没这时间陪你！！　你那是什麽ｓｅｒｖｉｃｅ　哦？　我还干着回去温习呢！！　老ｌｉｎ酱！！到最后，我实在是没那耐心去等了，就走路回家好了，　用这宝贵的时间等巴士，是个很愚蠢的行为。我靠我自己！！撤！

回到家后，立刻就冲去厕所里把热热的身体冲得凉凉的，我最讨厌热了！！脸也红完了！！刚才还被我碰见那些ｍａｌａｙ　ｆｕｃｋｓ　！！一直ＡＨ　ＭＵＩ　！　ＡＨ　ＭＵＩ　！！　ＬＥＮＧ　ＬＥＮＧ　ＡＨ　！！　的叫！！　经过的那些车子也不放过我　，　一直不停的吹他妈的口哨！！　ｈｏｏｋｅｒ　ｂｉｔｃｈ　ａｓｓ　ｓｌａｐ　！！！　快快的开了淋浴　，把自个儿的脸蛋冲了十分钟吧大概。。。　水一直不停的往我脸上冲，不停的冲～沙沙声的～好舒服，好可爱哟～透过点光可以看到水的清澈，很漂亮呢。　

冲着冲着，想起最近的他。。对我又回复像当初那样了。。　呵护，疼我的。为什麽呢？这问题都还一直徘徊在脑海中。。。他的目的？还是他纯碎只想那样。。。哈~ 什麽都好吧～　很感谢他把我给弄得那麽开心，这几天的我～实在是。。　唉。。　很“黑“呢。有了他偶尔的温柔与疼爱，　心中难免会有些安慰，也很快乐，必经他是我深爱的。。。　虽然不知道咱们这次的热情又能维持到多久呢？我。。实在是不想逼他，只想他开心就好了，也只想给他我的关怀与疼爱，即使。。他怎麽开朗都好，男人味怎麽再重也好。。在我心目中，我能感觉到，他还是寂寞的。。。孤独的一个“小男孩“。我一定要好好疼他。此刻，电脑正播放着， V.O.S 的 매일매일。很feelings 的一首歌曲，在此分享给大家，我的latest themes 的一首韩国歌曲。V.O.S 的 매일매일

Happy Mother's Day.

2008-05-11T02:48:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day History

The history of Mother's Day is centuries old and goes back to the times of ancient Greeks, who held festivities to honor Rhea, the mother of the gods. The early Christians celebrated the Mother's festival on the fourth Sunday of Lent to honor Mary, the mother of Christ. Interestingly, later on a religious order stretched the holiday to include all mothers, and named it as the Mothering Sunday. The English colonists settled in America discontinued the tradition of Mothering Sunday because of lack of time. In 1872 Julia Ward Howe organized a day for mothers dedicated to peace. It is a landmark in the history of Mother's Day.

In 1907, Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948), a Philadelphia schoolteacher, began a movement to set up a national Mother's Day in honor of her mother, Ann Maria Reeves Jarvis. She solicited the help of hundreds of legislators and prominent businessmen to create a special day to honor mothers. The first Mother's Day observance was a church service honoring Anna's mother. Anna handed out her mother's favorite flowers, the white incarnations, on the occasion as they represent sweetness, purity, and patience. Anna's hard work finally paid off in the year 1914, when President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as a national holiday in honor of mothers.

Slowly and gradually the Mother's day became very popular and gift giving activity increased. All this commercialization of the Mother's day infuriated Anna as she believed that the day's sentiment was being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit.

Regardless of Jarvis's worries, Mother's Day has flourished in the United States. Actually, the second Sunday of May has become the most popular day of the year. Although Anna may not be with us but the Mother's day lives on and has spread to various countries of the world. Many countries throughout the world celebrate Mother's Day at various times during the year, but some such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." - Abraham Lincoln

Mother in a different language

French - Mere
German - Mutter
Hindi - Maji
Urdu - Ammee
English - Mom, Mummy, Mother
Italian - Madre
Portuguese - Mãe
Albanian - Mëmë; Nënë; Burim; Kryemurgeshë
Belarusan - Matka
Cebuano - Inahan; Nanay
Serbian - Majka
Czech - Abatyse
Dutch - Moeder; Moer
Estonian - Ema
Frisian - Emo, Emä, Kantaäiti, Äiti
Greek - Màna
Hawaiian - Makuahine
Hungarian - Anya, Fu
Ilongo - Iloy; Nanay; Nay
Indonesian - Induk, Ibu, Biang, Nyokap

MOTHER'S DAY ZODIAC

Aquarius Mothers: Jan 20-Feb 18

If your mom happens to be an Aquarius, she probably has a large circle of unusual friends of whom she is very proud. Aquarian mothers also engage herself in the world, thereby extending her nurturing instinct. One thing is very peculiar about such mothers that they are more outwardly and different than other mothers but she's devoted and always gives you space and encourages your independence. The best idea would be to take her out for a lively dinner with some of her closest friends. The companionship and attention will make her day!

Perfect Mother's Day Gift: Even though she's an Air Sign, Aquarius mom appreciates being grounded in reality. She loves strange gifts, heartfelt surprises and almost anything that will augment her soul and keep her eager mind centered.

Aries Mothers: Mar 21-Apr 19

You may be planning to give your mom comforting and relaxing gifts like spa treatments or scented candles. Remember that her's is a Fire Sign and she is going to be fed up soon by all that sparkling and flowery stuff! In fact your Aries mother loves a good dare because she finds conflict exciting, which would explain some of your tiffs growing up. She is full of energy therefore don't bother indulging her senses or offering her escape. The idea of challenging her to a day of power shopping or other such exciting activities will make her day. And believe it, her energy will surprise you!

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: The Aries mothers are very active and therefore it makes great sense to present them something like membership of gym or billiards club etc. You can also present her with a gift certificate and a bunch of tiger lilies, which certainly match the energy level and vibrancy of the Aries mothers.

Cancerian Mothers: Jun 22-Jul 22

Cancerians woman make very good mothers. Cancerian mothers are sweet, traditional, unpredictable, enigmatic and fanciful. They love living in luxury, traveling, and taking care of their house. Take her to some nearby towns for antique shopping as they love past and tradition. As Cancerian mothers are strongly maternal, they like to stay at home and care for the family. Cancerian Mothers are among the most refined, sensual and dreaming. They prefer being occupied in social care rather than in society life. They hate vulgarities and love children.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: Cancerians mothers love to have family and friends, to organize parties and to entertain at home - they make great hosts. So, arrange a grand get together at your home by inviting all the close relatives and her offspring's. This will make her day! They adore being covered with presents, flower and attention so go ahead and arrange some of the most beautiful and bright flowers for your dear mom.

Capricorn Mothers: Dec 22-Jan 19

Capricorn mothers are very particular and take to parenting very seriously. She always gives sacrifices for the sake of her kids, in her own typical ways. The Mother's Day is the perfect setting to pay rich tributes to her dedication and sacrifices. Take her to a food joint or other places like this which she really wanted to visit but couldn't because it was too pricey. Your mere realization of her true nature and doing things dear to her will touch the heart of this hard working lady.

Perfect Mother's Day Gift: Although she is soft and sentimental but, your Capricorn mom really appreciates being a little extravagance - and when it involves jewelry, her joy knows no bounds. So present her with a piece of jewellewry which she likes.

Gemini Mothers: May 21-Jun 21

Gemini mothers are generally quick witted and they have that sixth sense which let them to know of you and your schemes, so you can't surprise her with your imaginative Mother's Day plans. If you want to do that then you will really have to outsmart her! Gemini is an air sign and these mothers are generally playful and forthcoming. Such mothers like to enjoy a cocktail party with all of her closest and dear friends. One must not Gemini mothers and their emotions too seriously because herself doesn't take these things seriously.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: A typical Gemini mother loves a bouquet of bright and colorful flowers. Regarding gifts, a Gemini is so fond of books and reading, so find out her favorite author and present her with some of her/his good works not read by your mom.

Leo Mothers: Jul 23- Aug 22

Leo mom takes immense pride in her family; therefore the perfect Mother's Day for her would be a grand gathering of her near and dear ones. To make the Mothers Day memorable, try to bring all her children and close relatives together. Even though there are a number of people gathered but she must be made to feel that it is really a special day. All the people who have gathered there should narrate some exciting and memorable experiences they ever shared with her. She should be cajoled to sing some of her favorite songs.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: The Leo Moms feel elated and joyous when presented with something like sunflower blossoms - the sunflowers define the Leo mothers completely. And if she is presented with a card made by our own hands, it will be like icing on cake!

Libra Mothers : Sep 23-Oct 22

Libra mothers are very good at diplomacy. They are also very calm. This helps them to sort out problems and difficulties with much ease. She is master at ironing out conflicts and drives away the fears of her kids. She is very liberal, which may make her children take her for granted. They also get spoiled as a result. This is the opportunity to spoil her right back. Libra mother is a kind of person who likes to be pampered. She also likes to be treated with absolute royalty. So plan something which is truly royal and befits her nature- massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, mud bath and body wrap are some of the ideas to be tried out.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: Libran moms are sentimental, romantic and sympathetic at heart. Present her with a beautiful bundle of roses. She'd be touched to receive roses from her beloved children. Her heart can also be won over by presenting homemade cards.

Piscean Mothers: Feb 19-Mar 20

Pisces mothers live in their own world of fantasy, dream ad creativity. Pisces mothers are good hearted and compassionate. They live their life in their own style. Fancy and creativity are their support systems and on this special day, you should help her to daydream and fantasize. Take her to a place where reality is on the edge for sometime, helping her to express her childlike purity and inquisitiveness. Make her feel that you truly understand her real nature and you will get to know that your mother is truly enjoying herself.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: As Piscean mothers are daydreamers and live in the world of fantasy, they should be gifted something which is calming and soothing. It will help her to escape for the time being. The idea of going to a peaceful place can be a very good present for the lady.

Sagittarius Mothers: Nov 22-Dec 21

As the Sagittarian mom likes excitement and adventure, a visit to her favorite place can be a good idea on this Mother's day. You can take your mom to a nearby town and shop for antiques. A long ride to the countryside can be another exciting option. This is the occasion to let your mom know that you appreciate her energy level and spirit. This will make her more than happy. A Sagittarian mom also likes to be a busy person therefore a nice party can also be arranged on this Mother's Day. She is sure to jump with joy, on the idea of mixing with her close pals.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: Sagittarius mothers generally like perfumes with strong smell. Thus gifting her with perfumes of different fragrance would make her joyful. Another idea would be to gift her walkman and a few of her favorite songs.

Scorpio Mothers: Oct 23-Nov 21

The most important quality of a scorpion mother is that she is the best friend of her children. She always helps her children to confide their thoughts and problems in her. She's all in one-she's your mom; she's your best friend, your teacher, your role model and your guardian angel! This Mother's Day is the ideal time to tell her that she is indeed a great person. This is the time to honor her with a calm, pleasant and cozy dinner with the closest members of the family. This is also the ideal time to appreciate her about being a multifaceted woman.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: As Scorpio mom's have an individualistic attitude, their taste invariably goes towards loving plant life. So, different varieties of flower, medicinal and herbal plants can be gifted to her.

Taurus Mothers: Apr 20-May 20
The Taurus moms are always hard working when it comes to mothering. They are also very affectionate and protective. So, this Mother's day is the right occasion to help her to take a day off. Mother's day party and other such activities will add all the joy and happiness to her life. Taurus moms love rich and sumptuous food; therefore the menu of the Mother's day party should be left to her choice. A little sensory extravagance and your entire attention should be enough to please your mom's fondness for joy.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: Taurus mom's soft and sentimental nature can be bowled over by gifting her with a bouquet of tropical hibiscus- she will just love them. Their soft, billowy petals appeal to her tangible nature. We can make her more happy and joyous by wrapping the gifts in attractive and bright papers.

Virgo Mothers: Aug 23-Sep 22

The Virgo moms are generally very particular about cleanliness; she perhaps cleans the house to relax! She pays a lot of attention on vacuuming the living room or trimming the hedges. She gets immense joy from bringing order to her immediate surroundings. She is a kind of person who doesn't want her daily routine to be disturbed, therefore it is advisable not to throw a big surprise Mother's day party. Virgo mothers don't like a fuss to be made on their behalf! The best idea would be to take her out to a fine restaurant for lunch and present her a tidy bouquet of narcissus flowers.

Ideal Mother's Day Gift: As Virgo moms are very particular about time therefore they would love anything which is timesaving. So it's time to ponder over if you have other ideas in mind. Any gift which will help her to save time is a sure welcome.

Mirror's Edge

2008-05-10T01:23:00.000-07:00

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