Going to church again today ^^ missing you... haiz.. is the first day you left ne .. and my heart started to miss you badly... how ne ? I pray for you deeply in my heart。。。 that you will have a great time during your holiday vacation . My heart will always be with you :) muaks , love you. The sky looks blue today , no raining , just sunny.
You love it aren't you ? That remindsme of you as well ^^. It feels the same as your smiling faces , always charming , and always sunny ... ik hou van jou 傻瓜。
Your eyes smiles like a bridge. And I will never reach the end Feels like a wind in your present Missing you is like a bitter medicine , so tough Every minute per second I can't find and i can't reach The so-called bright future that you've mentioned But did you realize that i don't need anything? If you understand me for just one second i would like to see and I'm still finding This so-called beauty of love I firmly hold on and hold it tight Dare not to miss any chances for our love Just hope you do know that
Ringggggggggg.... school bells rang today after the whole class sessions finish. Tired... miserable. The whole day , thinking of you... Walking towards the bus stations , thinking of you ... Waiting for the bus to come... thinking of you...you .. you .. you.. every pieces of my mind... was you. Haiz.. nah , leave it , let's listen to some music .. taking out my mp3 player , start the music then... << 爱在记忆中找你 >> man, this song... reminds me about you and me .. the meaning ... the story within it .. . some tears began to appeared from my eyes... quickly , i took a tissues , and swep it off...change the songs then...<< 说爱我 >> ... another songs that i ve send you before.. oh my god.... watch out those tears !! tears !! swep it off , swep it off !! quick !! Man !! what is these all about ?? Stupid me , keep crying , like a baby ... i guess that's just me huh ? Love to cry. and the next song ... <<>> Damn... =.=''' ahhhhhhhh !!!
Don't feel like going back .. my mom she's off... must be kut to hear her nagging and scolding ... plus i have no mood today .. So.. i decided to travel the Light rail train once again ... go somewhere else like KLCC , or or Mid valley i don't care... KLCC lah .. father and it tooks quit long time to get there by train. Just promise to let me travel somewhere else ... leave this seri kembangan place... In the Train .... Sitting to some places near the window ... playing songs like eyes sets to kill , bitter pill ... beauty through broken glasses... violence kiss... I felt a sudden anger were a released from my heart ... But at the same time ... i felt miserable about my future ... my studies ... keep asking question like , what the fuck am i doing now ? Honestly , form 6 , never will be my choice.. if it isn't my parents who want me to do this ... i won't be taking any courses for that ... i hide all my dreams and interest just to , please them... But i realize that, it really isn't my choice ... i felt tired... and confused.... do i really want this ? Form 6 life ? I m studying something that i don't really feel for it ... i lost all my passion and spirit for this... i started to feel that , for now .. i m just a death fish.. can't swim further , can't be smart , can't fight...Well , Prishan and i , were just talking about this today , and ... yup.. she felt that same as well.. We are the kind of people , who needs freedom to be succeed in our life... Right now ... i m 19 , but i don't feel like it , like cheh i m just a 15 or 17 year old girl who were still control by teachers and parents , what uniform should i wear , what type of hair should i tide up... what courses should i take for studies...following every single rules in school , damn... I just hope they would realize , that , I m quite a rebellion girl which doesn't following the rules all the time , and this , is my symbol of life , or my prinsip , i use to be like this and would never change that ... if you want to take it off from me , that means it is same as taking off the wings from the bird ... Was really fuck to know , when others just set the character earlier in their mind that we are what they thought but not we are who we are... just can't be myself... no own opinions , no self improvement , i can say .. that's Malaysia .. teachers sucks ... tradition .. and stubborn as hell... so as my parents... they already set it earlier what to do in your future and what hell character you should have. Docile , Obedient , listen , manners , right attitude , tradition ..bla bla bla ... that's what they call , the good students and children. As for girls , just follow everything that people said and don't fight back ... stay at home , do housework , cook , gentle , shy ... =.=''' what the fuck ... Man !! There is no thing that said , if you stay at home , you will be succeed in your future so as your life , you can be good , and everything will run smooth ... Oh pls mother fucker , what the hell was that ?? HUH ?? I mean , do you actually know how those people turn famous and have great career in their life ?? That's because they were all being train hard by those huge challenge out there , they face a darker side of a society and seen more than people who were just staying at homes studying like nuts , they have experients about how does a life runs and how would you deal with it if you face those fuckest challenge of all . I can sure that a person which don't been through all these stuff , they will never know the meaning of it , and is hard for them to be as tough as those people out there , being good , smooth and simple in your life doesn't really mean you could have a good life in the future , that's sucks talk. Now the world has been change , everything is running differently day by day , you can't just use the past to predict the future ? You have to update and improve yourself , try to live the life you want , and choose the things that you can do. But... those teachers.. they will never know what you think.. teachers kononnya , cheh .. fuck lah... they are just ... unreasonable ... student's can't have own opinions in front of the teachers cause that's disobeying the old ones , like they were always right and we were always wrong ... in here , i don't mention about those teenagers who always drugs and smoke but still thinks that they were right ( but i don't said that was totally their fault to do that as well , cause they have their own reason everybody has it , i respect them fully , only they knew it well about them self ) but what i mean was , something more or less about politics , or or projects and those studies , plus the way teachers doing things ... and their thoughts... they just wouldn't accept any critics from anyone , and try to blame on others about their own fault , that's my parents as well... i was totally stress fuck off with that situation when a teacher of mine , try to pull off all my opinions about one situations and bloking my way of doing things , instead , make me following her mind.If i don't do as she ask for.. I would have to suffer from the word ALLAH and Tuhan again =.=''' she will totally bring out all those kitab or so on so on stuff just to shut my mouth =.=''' They always said >> you must be a model role for our country if you wish our country to be one of the toppest... =.=''' fuck lah !! with this kind of system , anyone would fail ok ?? Just... the word .. respect.. where is it ? None of it... *sigh*.... we won't be able to improve anyway with that... But the only teacher i salute ... is Pn. Zaimuni.. she always has her way of seeing things , her own view... she sees it everything logically , and with reasonable accuses... not following all the rules , cause still some rules might be wrong if you use it at the wrong time ... that's what we call.. a teacher. Haiz... i wonder how my life will be then? Without hapiness , my own passion and interest i guess... but for now , is already april , i guess i can go through this again ... and i have to , no choice at all ... i have been stuggling for this such long time ago , if now i gave up , that means i am wasting my time for nothing , so . why not give it a last try ? Well.. i don't care.. my target now is stpm , that's my only only target for now.. don't care about how and what those teachers says about me , i don't care at all.. cause they are fuck.. if you care for those stupid so call motivations or advicing languages... you will surely die someday .. cheh...
Walking out from KLCC ... i saw a women , with a very scary face... erm , is her make up that makes her looks scary ... her hair was like a bunch of rubbish dumb tide up ... everybody would went like laughing or what the fuck ! if they see this ... i was kinda shock too when i saw that ... and it makes me felt ... and then ... zomok leh ?? But all of the sudden... i felt .. sympathy with her... she doesn't have to look like this if there is someone who teaches her how to make up and how to dress... but she's alone.. that reminds me of my mom... no matter how hard to serve how fierce she was , how stingy , how scary , how fuck... she is still .. my mom... i think.. is time for me to go back now , she's waiting for me alone.
But... i still misshim .. i miss you dear sha gua... how are you ne ? Don't be stress ok ? Take really good care of yourself... be happy... bless you here... haiz... i love you..
Love Can I always want to say to you You give me unbelievable happiness Like the green oasis to the desert Please say you will always be with me Support me, give me wings to fly And a nest to return to I am willing and I am able To give you everything without regrets When we are together watching the time goes by Please remember the way we love we each other Loving, loving you, there's pain and joy With you, even ordinary can become meaningful Loving, loving you, sweet & content This kind of feeling is you
I always want to say to you You give me unbelievable happiness Like the green oasis to the desert Please say you will always be with me Support me, give me wings to fly And a nest to return to I am willing, really I am To do anything to protect you Oh ~ when we are together as time goes on and on Please remember how much I love you Oh loving, loving you, never deserting, never leaving I don't mind, the road full of obstacles Loving, loving you, in your hand You are holding all the pleasure I can give you Oh ~ loving, loving you, I am always willing Loving, loving you, I want us to be together
Haha , lol , i found these question from someone's blog , and is really an interesting post she have.I bet many lovers might ask have these doubts and question for their own lovers , especially for girls they always needs security from guys , so guys , if you can't give her that , sorry to say that but let her go lah~or else she'll suffer ho ho,don't tocher her lah i know she's beautiful .
ooopsss sorry sorry , run's out of the topic again , fuck me . ok ^^ here
If I said I love you, Will you love me back ?
If I said I like you, Will you reject me ?
If I was in danger, Will you come & protect me ?
If I want you, Do you want me ?
If I am lonely, Will you talk to me ?
If I was with you, Will you break with me ?
If I said I hate you, Will you hate me to ?
When you're with someone else, I will not interupt and stay broken.
BUT
If I was with someone else and I was over you, Will you come for me ?
Attention : well you can answer those question here de ~ ^^ if you want :p hehe ^^
I can sense that , we both are tired with these now...can really sense it .. will we make it ? until the day we had promise ? ..... well , i 'll just ... do whatever i have to do now .. hold on to this.. hold on.. just , let it goes naturally ... and see , if , this is our destiny .. remember the word esther , if is yours , no matter what happens , no matter how long it goes , no matter how many rounds it turns , is still yours , it will came back to you still ... at the end ... but if is not belongs to your destiny , no matter how you try to grab it , it still wouldn't be yours ... cause it is not belongs to you...
But i do believe that , as long as we both still have love in our heart , we'll make it
But if , haha , if one of us really lost the feelings in our heart .. it won't make it i m sure .. cause love is not just from one side , is from both side , only both can carry one love .. then it won't be any suffering in it. But ya know.. i m not the one that easily gave up with the one i love , i will still fight for it , until.. when it really needs to come to an end , then i 'll gave up .. i know you always had those believes in your heart but is all about the feelingss still... can't force that. Is hurt maybe , but never regret with it. i choose the path myself , so i have to face what would happen next ... haiz.. i don't know why this god =.=''' always prank on me with those stuff... is really my fate lah.. cause man ! never thought of having such a great young man .. to be the one i love never ever.. since i broke up with that bastard =.=''' i really decided to cut off any guys that try to chase me and telling me the same thing over and over again , making me really , oh boy not that again ... =.='''
but still , wakakakka !!! I met him ... and he's cool , really cool , the character and great personality of his , making me arggggggggggg !! why so damn good !?? But at first , really thought he was my pal , never even think of there is love that happens between us .. cheh , this God lah , prank of me again , swt !
when i think back all these , i was what the fuck am i doing ? Noooooooooo ! no way ! nooooooo ! How can you in love with a leng chai like him !?? Man you don't even deserve to lah ! cheh ! this time , you die esther ! you will die again !! nooooooo !! I promise to myself that i will never ever choose a leng chai to become the one that i love , cause personalities wins it all , and leng chai will never be stable >"< , they always cheat. But i believe that he won't cheat , is just ... haiz.. still he is a leng chai ... i bet he will find more and more girls better than me .. so from the start at this story .. obviously there is a consequences show up ... maybe you 'll said >> " who knows ? esther ? maybe he won't ? , but still the " who knows " only stands a little chance and percentage ... Cause haiz.. old story , let's don't talk about that.. but leng chai !! man !! no leng chai in my life no leng chai !! But why .. God has to put the cupid's love arrow on me ne ? haiz... haiz... haiz..
haiz !!!!!! And why !! it had to be that long distance !!?? fuck !! God !! are you nuts !?
strange things always happen happen happen .. cheh ! ! And , i m totally , totally drown into him now , can't change this fact .... haha well , if this time , FAILS AGAIN !! !!! ( fuck you )
I RATHER TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE , NO LOVE FOR ME !! YAY !!
Unpredictable.Emotional but cold as well.Love to scream towards the sky and the sea.Friendly.Enemy = friend.Love to act,
Love music,Direct.Have nicest pal in the whole world , People i'm interested to meet with :
+ Anyone ACCEPT ,
People who lies and brat a lot , people who acting like a fagot , people who has sex problems and want sex , anyone who wanna mess up with me, (come over,lets debate in msn ) ,i love typing words fast fast and i don't care.PS: I M A BI.But 40 % on girls and 60% on guys , i m single but happy now ,if you wanna know more , I am a Queen that rebels , only with dreams and hopes.
女王によると> > 男の子の名前tibo愛し、彼は永遠に鉱山。彼からは誰も私まで取る。私の言葉は私のコマンドで、誰も反乱までです。
私の言葉誰でもしなければならないよう呼び掛ける反政府して呪いで行われる地獄に持ち込ま、接地は、生命.
あなたは、残りの者は死ぬが、残すには、痛みに苦しむ
I pray for you deeply in my heart。。。 
that you will have a great time during your holiday vacation . My heart will always be with you :) muaks , love you. 
The sky looks blue today , no raining , just sunny.
