Wednesday 30 April 2008

Fourth day without my sha gua

I found a book...

Wednesday. Rainy.

I am here , still waiting for the letter that you've send me
Haiz... is wednesday now... hopefully it will appear into my red mail box as soon as
possible..cause i really miss you , and was eagerly to see what you have wrote for me , must be the greatest letter i ever read he he
i really miss you sha gua , very much , muaks. ~



I found one book today , the title is "The Grand Overland Voyage". Is sort of a documentary book shows how both Malaysian's University student manage themselves traveling to some other country just to full fill their dreams as travelers . Both travelers , a female , who was an author of the book , and another male , who did some photograph for the book brought only bags , some moneys , some foods , and drinks , and films and started their journey without a fear ... that amazed me. The photographer captures world most beautiful scenery of all , and the author , will note down every great experience that they've been through. I remember there is one passage about how they spend their life time in London for 6 month, is winter season there , and it is very cold. They struggle between their life and dreams , walking through harsh life.. sleeping under bridges , the hospital , washing dishes for earning , transportation fees , foods and drinks ... sometimes , they rather walk to some certain places just to keep the transportation fees for the rest ( even for the travel fees ) , they drank water from taps , and ate only bread... there is no sunlight , only dark clouds.. the ground in London are always wet... Just a cup of hot coffee could make them felt warm and happy.. how simple. For them , they are the travelers , not tourism , they may lost the chance for luxurious hotels and foods , but that doesn't mean they couldn't found happiness throughout washing dishes , sleeping under the bridged ...and so on.. they realize more and understand more about life in London... and the way they run their life independently in London.. that's , i think , the best memories they ever had. They even discover something mostly tourism didn't know , and they capture all those bestest memories they had all along the place they've travel , even found the truth meaning from it... and they had learn something more about themselves. Finally , the author full fill her word , she said something before she starts her journey , that is >> " I want to leave Malaysia , to see this world clearly , and understand it myself , so that i could see myself clearly then understand it. " She sees it now , and she understood it as well. How great was that !

After leaving London , they never turn their heads back again , because it is time for them to start another new journey to , Barcelona , Spain. All they have taken with them is those memories which London had left during the winter season . Sunshine of Hopes and happiness began to fill their faces and flash away the cold frozen snow they've own from London , is another new story and a new passage here. " I see the sun ! yay ! At last ! " The author scream happily. She miss the sun lights i guess.














Tuesday 29 April 2008

Third day without my sha gua

can i kiss you ?


Tuesday. Sunny.

Man , i started to felt stress and stress over me again ... was kinda tiring today, because last night , i stay up really late , just for my studies , haiz.. preparing for the coming mid term examination.. and plus , missing him , i felt that it was far beyond my limits now ... really hope he'll come back soon... but on the other hand , i really wishes him to have a great vacation of his own with his family and relatives... ya know , he's kinda stress lately for his studies as well , so yes , i should stop my selfishness and use all my heart to bless my litto sha gua , but man really really misses him!! Ahhhh !! Luckily , today , my classmate , Yap , Desmond , Soon , they have a really great talk with me and it makes me forgotten about my stress and the heart of emptiness... thanks buddies. You know sha gua ? Can't talk to you , really makes me felt lonely somehow..



Brother D , sending me back to my house again with his car. We stop by some places and having some lunch together , two couples were sitting infront of us , they seems to have some arguement , cause , that girl , she was crying , tears drops from her cheek , and her boyfriend , was trying to comfort her , but she refused to listen.

Brother D : Ai... nowdays leh... couples easily get mad with each other hor ? I think this one , will sure break up de lah ... cheh , all puppy love de , not really love each other one lah , sikit je break up sikit je break up , if i have my a girlfriend of my own , i sure will chase her back no matter
what de.


Me : Cheh , how would you know ? If she doesn't love you anymore leh ? And maybe this couples they have some problem you don't know leh ? Maybe... they found that something is going on with their relationship ne ? You won't understand de lah ~ You think so easy meh ? Yes , being in love with each other , is easy , but being together is hard. Better break , don't need to worry.

Brother D : Ohhhh.. so you think , you are right ? Man.. esther..a word love isn't that easy you know ? If both couples , just a bit problem , then break up , is this call love ne ? If they really love each other , neither one of them should stand up , and try to solve this both together , not saying , " i think we have problem lah ~ break up lah cheh !! bye bye !! " ( lol funny D)

Me : Well ... you .. got a point.


B.d : No couples , are perfect , still they might be at least a little bit problem , but this is a fact that we must accept , you can't always hope to have good things happen between you both de mah ~ that's your own dreaming , not a dream between you both ~ you must cooperate with your loves one de , the mind must link together ~ ( lol like a daddy ) if , both together always good things happen , no challenge at all , then how you know the meaning "TOGETHER" leh ? Don't tell me , ohh , she or he threat you not good , you don't want , then she or he threat you good , you came back to them ah ? So realistic ? ( Well... *sigh* ) you think small kid meh ? Friends threat you not good for a while , you want to be friend with them , if they threat you good , then only you came back for them , so realistic ? And you still think that was maturity , cheh ! ( I... don't mean that.. . ) Is the same esther , you bring it into couples relationship lah , is the same, if you really love him ohh , you wouldn't gave up so fast de , Like me , if i really love her ohh , no matter how many times she tell me lah ~ like " do you really think we both can still be together ? " ha , i will promise myself to gave her a "yes" not just talk de , i proof to her yes , just , aiyo !! i won't gave up lah !! If now hor , like this , little problem also cannot solve , then how to keep it when we married already ? Think esther ! Think !!

Me : I know , but but , what if , she really lost her feelings leh ? Towards you ? Or both
couple , really lost her feelings leh ? How to explain that ? This isn't about who' s fault brother , is about the feelings !!!

B.d : Esther , esther , you sha de , if everything is about the feelings , i m sure hor , next time you will have lots and lots of family problem de lah , sikit je divorce sikit je divorce , sha po !! Feeling leh , is like that de mah !! Will lost somehow de mah !! You cannot everything rely on FEELINGS de mah !! How you know it lost ? How you know ??

Me : Can feel it de mah
!

B.d : CHEH
!! you feel it yourself !! Then do you really listen to your heart !? ( wei.. wei.. calm down ...people are watching.. ) ... Do you really want to end up so fast this relationship just because you lost sikit je feelings ? Feelings , is something that can be create by yourself , or when both together suddenly that feeling create de mah , i can say lah , for example lah , dont laugh ah !! ( lol ) that day you suddenly .. neh ~ you angry then pull my pants de ? And then , you know the rest lah har ! That time leh , honestly lah , i really want to continue with you de ( ....oh .. my .. god my heaven god ) but cannot mah !! Although that feeling came , but cannot lah !! I must control my emotion, and to let that feeling lost , alright ? See that ? Feeling is unstable de , you cannot just say like feeling is forever de , like feeling CONQUER THE WORLD , sha lin meh ? ( lol ) Ok lah , ok lah , eat now lah , very hungry , faster eat.

Me : .... ok loh... ( well.. this time , he got all the point.. he's right.. so.. haiz... i 'll just ... eat
)


ON the way back , we were listening to rtm radio , one of ours favourites songs ( He often
sings it , and is a great song we both love it ) So , both of us sang it together , haha really funny when this brother D sings , he even shows some funny action , was really funny to see. Then suddenly ,

B.d : Esther .

Me : Huh ?

B.d : Can i kiss you ? Lips de ?


Me : N
o

B.d : I knew it.


I just kept quiet , well actually he's doing the same as well , we both were quiet until , i say good bye to him.

Monday 28 April 2008

Second day without my sha gua...

missing you...

Monday. Rainy day.

Early in the morning , setting up myself to school. Thinking of you again ne :) i dream you last night he he ^^ that you and i were both having fun together , playing cards , playing games .. when we were tired we sleep together .. how sweet ne . ke ke ^^ . How are you ne ? Everything is fine there ? Must be really happy ba ^^ muaks , bless you.

Is mid term now , so all upper six student were busying preparing their school work and revision , so am I. Ahhh, the whole day was exhausted , but one thing good is , it keeps raining ... i love that... hahah !! Well teacher have some jokes with us today ne , and she pull me in but it ends up , she means , I m the cutest girl in that class ( what!? ) and everyone agrees with it hahaha !! wa kakak Erm , kinda normal today , nothing really happens , except my revision for studies , still the most was missing you all day long muaks

love you ^^ Ti Amo my little sha gua