爱。。。

好多的感触呢。。。 我写，写，写。。。

爱。。。 是一种需要，一种缺乏。

所以，我们都喜欢情歌。

不管爱在进行中，还是仍未萌芽，

不管你爱他比较多，还是他爱你比较多。

爱，或被爱，其实。。。都是一种喜悦。

~ 温馨的早餐 ~

泥娃娃的眼泪。

最近收到几个小女孩的倾诉，我将她们称为小妹。这些小妹告诉我她们和父母亲所发生的冲突，这冲突繁多而锁碎，再疼痛与泪水中，她们压低了声音哭，心破撕成一片片。有一个小妹把愤怒的情绪转移到我身上来了，她锐声质问：“你凭什么教人相信爱情？你以为你自己是谁？你只是命好，身边的人都对你好，你哪里懂得痛苦？哪里知道什麽叫人生？”。 我怔仲着 ，回想起一个女子一切靠自己的 拼搏中，经历过的哪些打击和挫折 ，痛苦啊，人生啊，谁能说得清？同时，心里渐渐明白，我并不需要将自己生活里的坎坷伤痛告诉她；也不需展示自己的新伤旧创。我仔细把她所说的话想回去，看见她的十几岁人生，是在父母亲的欧打与恶骂中度过的，她恨这样的父亲，恨这样的母亲，恨这样的家庭和婚姻 。“他们不是相爱之后才结婚的吗？他们不是有过一生一世的宣誓吗？为什么这样伤害彼此，这样伤害我呢？”在包裹着愤怒与怨恨的情绪里，我看见一个脆弱的小女孩，哭喊着爱，她只想要爱家人和被爱，作为父母的，为什么一定要让孩子在痛苦里懂得人生呢？她也有眼睛，　却看不见希望；他也有嘴巴，却说不出情感。

另一个小妹，十八岁，常和妈妈吵架，更常被妈妈打。这一次妈妈叫她去读英文，她说听英文歌也是一种学习，妈妈叫她去死，她辨称老师说听歌也是可以学英文，妈妈叫她的英文老师也去死。小妹回了嘴说，　“那你也去死！！”妈妈又撞墙有打她，简直气疯了，不知道女儿怎么会叛逆直此？　说出这种无情的话？却忽略了女儿只是重复妈妈说的话，重复妈妈的无情咀咒。做为父母的常常ｉ　认为自己辛苦的生养儿女，对孩子莫大的深情，想说什么，想做什么，都可以，却忘记了人在受攻击时会反击；人在疼痛时会呼号；人在被亲爱伤害时最破裂。小妹问我：“我错了吗？大人不会轻易的say sorry，但小孩一定得说我错了。”

我。。。该怎么回答她呢？小妹身上的尘泥，是大人对世界的怨，自觉或不自觉的掩埋住孩子的快乐与自尊，抹煞了他们对世界的信任。如果。。。 父母能专心看着孩子的眼睛，倾听孩子说的话，会发现除了“我错了”，我们还能说，“我爱你”还能说，“一切从新开始”。

失落...

从我妈工作那走出来，已经很晚了。天啊，今天 the mines 是怎麽啦？好多好多来自不同国家的人来这儿呢，而且是突其而来的，吓了那些 food store的人一大跳的（因为赚得最多是他们，整体排长龙，导致不够人手，不知所措）平时显得清静冷淡的超级市场，今天却特别的热闹。。怪怪的。。。打听了一番之后， 才获知，原来。。。这些日本人阿,韩国人阿，美国人阿，中国人阿，荷兰人阿等，都是来这attend什麽 ，How To Be A Millionaire seminar course 的。。。
真服了他们，一个course要整三百块也，还有飞机票费呢？这些人难不成疯了吗？真正的millionaire是那个讲speech的人！！他收了你们一人三百块，他岂不就成为MILLIONAIRE了吗？？
一共有超过八百个人参加耶，大佬 ！！ 哇！！顿时觉得人呢，有时真愚蠢，该是聪明的时候，又不放聪明点，不该扮聪明时，却很自以为是的。唉，脚踏实地点，不好吗？真是的。

望着对面直发亮着的一栋楼，顿时觉得空虚，与寂寞，我想这些“朋友“们总爱 在这时候闯进来吧？ 应该说，它们无时无刻都爱在我的生活里出现吧。。。耳边所播放着的音乐，把我所有的空虚与寂寞更有味道的加了个colour, blue. 有时， 是蛮憎恨它们的不请自来，却又在心情低落时急需它们的出现。。。很矛，很矛。。

我发觉，人心，是善，是恶。。怎麽分，也分不清的。。你可以说他恶吧，可他却可以比你想像中还要来得善良。。。反之，你可以当他是善的，可原来，他比你想像得还要更恶呢。所以，相信？对我来说，是陌生的，不过却仍存在着淡淡的信念，只是，这信念似乎渐渐消失。。。心淡了。我并不想再像以前那样，期待着什麽，只想告诉你们，leave me alone...或许，是比较好的选择吧，我不忍心浪费你们的时间在我的事情上，却。。 想多浪费时间在你们的事情上。 明白吗？别再问了，告诉你们，你们也会听厌的。　But i will try all my best to help you guys. :)

wah ~ my palace !! :P

Fucking BARIA PUKIMAK sport car wa ~

As i was walking towards my house , suddenly a sport car just flew away like fuck besides me , and with just 0.1111111111111111cm ( lol not that much ) i may die cause of that fucking red colour la la chai sports car , man , are they mad or what ? Still , that la la chai driver , show his head out , and shout at me >> OI !! .

man , WHAT THE FUCK is going on here ?! You are the one that shit in the ass !! Not me ? Can't you see the road is just small ? Is not a place for you to race your fucking ass so hai sports car !! And i hate your hair !! It looks sucks and fuck !! Grown up , la la. I wish after this you will face a huge accident , smash yourself into a big big huge lorry , your sport car will be smashing into pieces , and you , will not die , because you will be suffering with broken bones and legs , and no one will save you , not even a grandma notice , because you , are invisible to everyone !!! Including the police !! Muhahahahah !!

And next time !! Don't ever let me see you again !! Because i will throw shits on you !!! You are just a dump ass that slap a bitch on your nose without noticing the pain in the ass !! ( man what am i talking about ? ) And i wish that fuck ass !! Will still be smash into the deepest hell of all !! suffering from punishment !! Hey !! You suck dick !! Don't ever piss off with me !! You'll see how much i curse for ya !!! Go and die earlier better !!

~de wereld is zwart ~

~The world is black ~

Evgeny kissin

Today's topic

EVGENY KISSIN

ABOUT

Evgeny Kissin was born in Moscow in October 1971 and began to play by ear and improvise on the piano at the age of two. At six years old, he entered a special school for gifted children, the Moscow Gnessin School of Music, where he was a student of Anna Pavlovna Kantor, who has remained his only teacher. At the age of ten, he made his concerto debut playing Mozart's Piano Concerto K. 466 and gave his first solo recital in Moscow one year later. He came to international attention in March 1984 when, at the age of twelve, he performed Chopin's Piano Concertos 1 and 2 in the Great Hall of the Moscow Conservatory with the Moscow State Philharmonic under Dmitri Kitaenko. This concert was recorded live by Melodia, and a two-LP album was released the following year. During the next two years, several Kissin performances in Moscow were recorded live and five more LPs were released by Melodia.

Kissin's first appearances outside Russia were in 1985 in Eastern Europe, followed a year later by his first tour of Japan. In 1987 he made his West European debut at the Berlin Festival. In 1988 he toured Europe with the Moscow Virtuosi and Vladimir Spivakov and also made his London debut with the London Symphony Orchestra under Valery Gergiev. In December of the same year he performed with Herbert von Karajan and the Berlin Philharmonic in a New Year's concert which was broadcast internationally, with the performance repeated the following year at the Salzburg Easter Festival. Audio and video recordings of the New Year's concert were made by Deutsche Grammophon.

In 1990, Kissin made his first appearance at the BBC Promenade Concerts in London and that same year made his North American debut, performing both Chopin piano concertos with the New York Philharmonic conducted by Zubin Mehta. The following week he opened Carnegie Hall's Centennial season with a spectacular debut recital, which was recorded live by BMG Classics.

Musical awards and tributes from around the world have been showered upon Kissin. In 1987 he received the Crystal Prize of the Osaka Symphony Hall for the best performance of the year 1986 (which was his first performance in Japan). In 1991 he received the Musician of the Year Prize from the Chigiana Academy of Music in Siena, Italy. He was special guest at the 1992 Grammy Awards Ceremony, broadcast live to an audience estimated at over one billion, and became Musical America's youngest Instrumentalist of the Year in 1995. In 1997, he received the prestigious Triumph Award for his outstanding contribution to Russia's culture, one of the highest cultural honors to be awarded in the Russian Republic, and again, the youngest-ever awarded. He was the first pianist to be invited to give a recital at the BBC Proms (1997), and in the 2000 season, was the first concerto soloist ever to be invited to play in the Proms opening concert. In May 2001 Kissin was awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Music by the Manhattan School of Music. In December 2003 in Moscow, he received the Shostakovich Award, one of Russia's highest musical honors. In June 2005, he was awarded an Honorary Membership of the Royal Academy of Music in London.

Kissin's recordings have also received numerous awards and accolades, including the Edison Klassiek in The Netherlands and the Diapason d'Or and the Grande Prix of La Nouvelle Academie du Disque in France, as well as awards from music magazines throughout the world. In 2002 Kissin was named Echo Klassik Soloist of the Year. His first studio recording, in 1988 for RCA Red Seal, was of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 with Gergiev/London Symphony Orchestra, and six Etudes-Tableaux, Op. 39.

Among other works recorded for RCA Red Seal are two Chopin recital programmes, one with the four Ballades, Barcarolle, Berceuse, and Scherzo No. 4, Op. 54, and another with the 24 Preludes Op. 28, Sonata No. 2 and Polonaise in A-flat; Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Brahm's Variations on a Theme of Paganini and Franck's Prelude, Choral and Fugue; Schumann's Fantasy, Op. 17 and five Etudes d'execution transcendante by Liszt; Schumann's Kreisleriana and the Bach-Busoni Chaconne; Bach-Busoni Toccata, Adagio and Fugue in C major, Glinka-Balakirev The Lark and Mussorgsky Pictures at an Exhibition; Schumann's Sonata No. 1 in F sharp minor and Carnaval; and an all-Brahms disc including Sonata No. 3 in F Minor and five Hungarian dances. His newest recording to be released in September 2005 includes works by Scriabin, Medtner and Stravinsky's Movements from Petrouchka. A recent duo recital with James Levine of works by Schubert was recorded live at Carnegie Hall and will be a forthcoming release on RCA Red Seal.

Other recital albums included Schubert Sonata No. 21 in B flat major and Schubert-Liszt Four Songs (BMG/RCA Victor Red Seal), Schubert Wanderer Fantasie, Brahms Seven Pieces, Op. 116, Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No. 12 (Deutsche Grammophon) and Haydn Sonata No. 30 in A major, Sonata No. 52 in E flat major, and Schubert Sonata in A minor D784 (Sony).

Among concerto recordings are the Schumman Concerto with the Vienna Philharmonic and Giulini (Sony Classical); Beethoven Piano Concertos Nos. 2 and 5 with the Philharmonia Orchestra and Levine (Sony Classical); Prokofiev Concertos Nos. 1 and 3 with the Berlin Philharmonic and Abbado (Deutsche Grammophon) and Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 3 with the Boston Symphony and Ozawa (RCA Red Seal); Mozart Concertos No. 12 and 20 and Rondo in D major KV. 382, Haydn Concerto in D major, Shostakovich Concerto No.1 with the Moscow Virtuosi and Spivakov (RCA Red Seal); Beethoven Choral Fantasy with the Berlin Philharmonic and Abbado (Deutsche Grammophon).

Christopher Nupen's documentary film, Evgeny Kissin: The Gift of Music, was released in 2000 on video and DVD by RCA Red Seal.

Kissin's musicality, the depth and poetic quality of his interpretations, and his extraordinary virtuosity has placed him at the forefront of the world's new generation of young pianists. He is in demand the world over, and has appeared with many great conductors, including Abbado, Ashkenazy, Barenboim, Dohnanyi, Giulini, Levine, Maazel, Muti, Ozawa, Svetlanov and Temirkanov, as well as all the world's major orchestras. He makes regular recital tours to the United States, Japan and throughout Europe.

During the 2005-2006 season, Mr. Kissin performs in the opening night gala concert for the New York Philharmonic and the Los Angeles Philharmonic and plays the complete cycle of Beethoven concertos with Sir Andrew Davis and the Toronto and Chicago Symphonies. He appears in recital in Spain, France, Germany, Austria, Britain, Norway, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Poland, Serbia, Japan and Southeast Asia.

To visit Evgeny kissin official website :
( with the latest album music )

http://www.kissinmusic.com/

我的心情。。。My feelings and thoughts...

studying for business ~

我的天空今天有点灰
有时寂寞太沉重
身边仿佛只是观众
你的感受没有人懂
空无一人的一片沙滩
风吹过来 ， 冷冷的海岸
我轻轻斗落着鞋里的沙
看着我，自己的脚印
一个人 ， 一步步的，
好寂寞。。。

看海有些鱼 ，天，有些蓝
那段爱情，有些遗憾。
真想不知不觉的，游向海天
到最深的地方。。。
听着， 海浪温柔的呼吸
看着， 云朵飘来飘去
有什麽方法 ， 让自己真的忘记呢？　

Only blue , only blue...
爱让人，好忧郁。
我的心，我的心
蓝蓝的。。
我真的想，找一艘船。。。
远远的离开　，这片沙滩。
每次又回到同样海边
还是会对你想念。。。
想念你，有点 Blue
没有人，能像你
留给我的回忆。。。
有点 Blue.

I miss you ....

today's exam .. sucks...

Today's exam...totally sucks , i was kinda into headache after finishing my only 30 objective question paper , and was going to face another essay's paper again ~ man ~ was indeed , really tiring , and sienz.... ( bored it means ) , Macro kononnya ~ cheh ~ poyo punye paper. hate it .But it left me no choice than to finish it ~ haiz... die , die lah ~

BAHAGIAN B = in 5 i could only manage to finish 3 question outta 5 , fuck.

BAHAGIAN C = in 6 question i could only manage 3 as well , shit. ( why that sucks , eh?? )

BAHAGIAN D = was asking us to choose only 2 out of 4 question to answer , man i don't even know what are they asking for .... this time , I m going to DIE. Ok , think , think , think , esther , think...

Look at the time !! You still have 2 hours left , no worries , have much time to figure it out what are those bloody question asking for ~ uhuh ~ i see ~ so , penawaran dan inflasi eh ? Uhuh ~ ok ok .....

( as time goes by .... )

I was sitting there , my mind was blank , and then... looking out the window , staring at those trees..... feeling ... tired. My class is stated at the new building in my school ... third floor , name 6 Sabar Atas , that's my class. My table was located at fourth line , the last table it was , near the window ... I love sitting there , and i absolutely enjoying myself at there. It was cooling and refreshing , the best place i ever found... plus , it stick to the wall , so that i can lay on it , i could look outside the window as well. Outside the window , was all trees and leaves , i can only see the trees and leaves flowing everywhere when the wind blows , is nice to have that feeling , feels like i was in UK private school ~muahaha Alice Smith school ehh ? Or or , Australian international school eh ?? ( because erm , my building was red colour de , dark red i think , and when the trees and the leaves stick together with the idea of dark , red wall. It doesn't feels like Asian school ne , except , if you look further , you could see a fucking pond there , that will ruined any feelings you had :P lol )

Looking at the scenery outside the window , i smile , thinking of him again ~ I wonder , how he's doing now in London ? Must be having lots of fun there huh ~ i guess so , London is a great place , great city with lots of great facilities and stuff , which reminds me of the olden classical London streets like i always seen on story books , or tv's. Nice feeling it was. That sha gua ~ how nice ne , after coming back from France , another trip waiting for him again to explore ~ London , man , i really hope if i was him cheh , cheh , cheh. I m jealous now lol. blek.

( as time goes by again... )

I woke up from sleep , avoiding myself from dreaming again ... Looked at the time , still one and the half hour , cheh , where are all my ideas ? Shit. Quickly hold the calculator , count , count , count and count , inflasi erm , alright let's do it like this , put the formula lah ~ so hai , ok , uhuh , uhuh , oh oh , forget about the penawaran , maybe add up together might found the answer wakakak. FUCK !? WHAT ? no !! Not that large ! .... Ahhhh fuck ! Forgot to divide lah ! so lin ah , haiz. AGAIN !

( half hour later )

cheh , essay , asking those fuck question again , write write write like hell , cheh , ok lah ok lah , what is it asking ? Teori kewangan ???........ What the fuck ? .............. i think is better to go on to the next question. This one , erm , haiya , gave up lah. blek.

( bla bla bla bla bla bla ~ write write write ... ) finish ...

still have some time to sleep , Soon , she was looking at me , laughing. cheh =.='' what's so funny ?

Yay !! At last , finish lo !! Ran out from the class quickly , muahahahah !! Bus !! Bus !! Bus !! wakakak !!

PS : My dad bought a New laptop today , was kinda cool to see , especially windows vista nice designing was all black and i like it , but fuck , keep disconnecting me again , and everything has to reinstall again fuck vista , and is even worse than my computer , man , i was trying to find my recording stuff where is it ? Wakaka , if i found it , will surely play with sha gua de !! wakakakak !!! muhahahahah !! Yeng wor !!